Crazy shit

   Everything had been put into place, every single document had been acquired, and every single detail had been on point. Nevertheless, the consulate had decided not to give Richard the visa to go and work in Canada. He never heard a reason why he had been denied the visa, only that he could challenge the decision with the Canadian justice system but that could take, at least, three months, time that he didn’t have. When he notified the company that had offered him the job, which was the reason for his trip, they didn’t really say anything. Days later, they said they couldn’t guarantee the job to be there in three months so they “advised” not to go ahead with the challenging of the consulate’s decision. They backed up from their proposal, after so much praise and kindness, and eventually choose someone less of a problem.

 For Richard, that was it. He hadn’t had a job in his life. This was going to be his first shot at anything and in a foreign country! But for some reason, it didn’t happen. At first he was just shocked and disappointed, mainly because he had spent so much time and money in order to get the damn visa. But the days passed, and he started to feel worse. He lost his appetite and wouldn’t come out of his room, not for dinner, not for showering, not for anything. Slowly, Richard had descended to a depressive spiral of which he did not know and didn’t even want to get out. He kept thinking about the reasons why this hadn’t worked and blaming himself was the only way to make it all have any sense.

 Days passed until one-day Richard’s father had to topple the door, only to find him lying in the ground, barely breathing. He had cut himself several times on his arm and was bleeding profusely. They called the paramedics and the staff at the hospital was able to stabilize him, not before he had lost even more blood. He was week for several days in which many of his relatives, the kind that are never there but come flying back just to see what has happened, visited him as he was still in an induced sleep. When he finally woke up, he became violent, demanding to take everyone out in the act or he would repeat what he had done before.

 His parents only cried and cried and did not much else. As he had woken up already, he was given painkillers and some others medications to keep him calm but they did not seem to work a lot. He would refuse any food or anyone coming in being falsely nice. He didn’t really want to live anymore and he didn’t want people to be fake near him, it bothered Richard a lot when all they had were kind words that they didn’t mean or lies to calm him down. He stayed in the hospital for several weeks until it was decided he would be better off in a psychiatric facility, where they could try to cope with his behavior. Their parents cried again and did nothing else and he wasn’t surprised.

 The day he got transferred to the sanatorium, they didn’t even try to say goodbye or to be there. They just disappeared leaving only nurses and unknown people behind. Maybe it was for the best because any familiar face made Richard unstable and prone to violence. His cell, or room as they liked to call it, in the sanatorium was small and with just a tiny window to look towards the garden. The view was nice because there were lots of flowers and birds would come in the morning. At least that had improved from the hospital, were his window faced a wall. Even his room at home face a fucking wall, so it was difficult not to like this room better, even if it meant taking lots of drugs and just looking out the window a couple of hours a day.

 It was only after a week that he realized that, since he had been taken to the hospital, he had never spoken to any friend or anything like it. Which goes to show you how people are. Some run to see the train wreck happen and others just avoid it completely, even denying the whole thing. Anyway, it was best that way. He made a couple of friends in the sanatorium: a kid who had tried to jump off a bridge because his mom had punished him for being gay (he showed Richard his scarred back one day) and a girl who suffered of some weight related problem. She was very skinny and would always look like a ghost gliding all over the ward. There were a lot of other people in his area but they were all pretty harmless. But sometimes they could hear people from the other ward, the most dangerous one, yell or howl or do some kind of noise that would make everyone nervous.

 People there, on the other side, were really crazy. Richard thought he was crazy but he had realized those other patients were just above that. They were people who had killed others or who were just absent from reality. It was a pity though because no one really deserved to be there permanently. Although Richard had settled fast and liked to be around his new friends, he knew that living there permanently would not be as fun or enjoyable. During lunchtime, every single person would have a story about one of the patients of the neighboring ward. It was kind of a tradition to sit down and just tell stories about those others that were there with them. It was easier than talking about personal issues.

 Some said there was this lady who had killed all of her children (the number varied depending on who told the story). They talked also about a guy who used to be a butcher and had gutted a client because he had paid only in coins. There was the serial killer of pregnant women and the men that had just gone insane in an elevator, killing at least ten people with just a pen. The stories were gruesome and more often than not the guards would come and break the meetings off in order no to let the patients get too excited over a bloody story. But the gathering was a tradition and they only interrupted when too many were involved.

 Besides that, Richard got to have sex with the gay kid, who also happened to be obsessed with sex. Richard didn’t identify himself as gay but it had been so long since he had done anything with anyone that he didn’t really care. Apparently others did care because he was sent to the infirmary to get tested for HIV. Luckily, the gay guy wasn’t positive so nothing happened, but Richard refused to have sex with him again. Although for him oral sex wasn’t real sex but whatever. The guards, again, didn’t really seem to mind if patients visited other patients in their rooms. They only intervened if violence was imminent, whether it was against themselves, others patients or even the security staff.

 The funniest thing was when this rather big girl decided to jump on one of the guards because she had heard him called her “fat”. Everyone laughed and cheered on for the girl but the result was that games and entertainment were cancelled that night after dinner, so everyone had to be behind bars in their bunks, looking at the moon like Richard or howling at it like the prisoners in the other ward. When something like that happened. Richard felt strangely alive. Somehow, those crazy fuckers made him feel alive, more than anything or anyone had made him feel before. Yes, they were insane and dangerous but he felt close to them and he could have conversations with them, even with the gay guy when they were not… You know. It was great to feel like he belonged somewhere, even if it was in such a place.

 Then, after some months, his family came for him and it was the worst day in a long time. It was crazy to think he wanted to stay there but he felt he couldn’t be himself again if he just left them all there. He decided to get the email addresses of every single one of them and he gave them his so they could chat anytime and just be there for one another. It was a sentimental moment, a real one, and then he left. As the car left the premises, he realized that his life wasn’t over at 27. He had no idea of what to do with his life, that was certain. And he now had something to explain in every single job interview or even in dates.

 But he thought of it as something fun. Maybe he would end up being a failed human being. But he wouldn’t be the first or the last. The honest thought he had as he entered his room was that he didn’t want any of the shit that people had always wanted for him. He didn’t want the usual silly love or shitloads of money or paying job or any of that bullshit. He just wanted to feel needed, to feel that someone cared and to experience life as everyone should. He wanted to feel the world around him and just live to experience it all and not to submit himself to slave labor.

 So he just started writing. He wrote everything that had happened to him in recent times. Every single story, every single kinky moment in the sanatorium’s bathroom, every crazy thought, every suicidal decision. He wanted to sum it all up and just do something with it someday. But that day hasn’t come yet. Someday, though.

Job interviews

   Anna prepared herself for days. She had to get a job once and for all because she didn’t want to live with her parents anymore. They were all right, it wasn’t that they weren’t a bother or anything but she wanted more than life than her eternal bedroom with a window towards the mountains. There was never sun or warmth in her room and she had always thought this affected many of the things she did. Besides, she needed change urgently. Anna didn’t want to turn thirty and still be the girl that hadn’t accomplish much. She felt everyone she knew was doing something and she wanted to do something too.

 She tried skirts and pants, blouses and sweaters, heels and flat shoes. All that in front of a mirror the day before her job interviews. She had been scheduled to be in at least five: three of them were in a ten-block radius so she could get to any of them on time by just walking. The other two were in other areas and she was going to have to take the bus. It was possible they called Anna from two more places to go there and just pop up for an interview but they would only call her if they had the time to do it that day.

 The girl woke up early, spent exactly seven minutes in the shower and got dressed pretty fast having prepared her outfit the day before. She put on some make up, verified that she was bringing everyday in a briefcase her dad had lend her and then she went out the house. But the moment she was about to hop in the elevator, she realized she had left her cellphone in the kitchen, after having a fast breakfast. She had to go back, grab it and then run out faster than before. She had thought of taking a taxi to the first interview in order not to be late and she did arrive just in time.

 The job was in a cleaning product factory. It was one of the ones that were in a distant location, more exactly in a large industrial area. She arrived just in time, as a bald man said her name. She smiled and got in an office with him. The interview was very normal at the beginning but then the man asked about her job background and her studies. Anna had gone to college to be an architect and she had the degree but that had nothing to do with the job they were offering there. She said that, as it was an assistant post, she could learn fast but the man wasn’t convinced and told her, kindly but with decision, that maybe the factory wasn’t the best place for her. She thanked him for his time and left the building shortly after.

 A bit bummed out by the outcome of her first interview, she took a bus straight towards the financial area. There. She would have three interviews and she tried to convince herself they were going to be much better than the first one. In the bus, something funny happened: a very cute guy, one of those that might not even realize he was cute, was standing by the middle of the bus and danced softly but as the bus reaches its destination, the guy started dancing more and more. Maybe it was that he didn’t realize that people were watching, because he had big headphones, but many of the passengers of the bus were looking and a kid was even recording a video of him. This very particular event made Anna think that some people are just who they are. Maybe she was too desperate and that too was noticeable.

 So when she entered the building were the second interview was going to take place, she made a mental note to be a little more lose, more natural and compelling, instead of being lost and nervous. Maybe if they saw a cheerful and very committed Anna, they would hire her. The interview was in a fashion magazine and she would also assist on several duties. The ad didn’t really specify what was that she would be doing but that was ok. She entered after ten minutes of waiting and it was a woman this time that did the interview. They chatted amicably and even laughed to some jokes and characteristics of the job such as helping the very full-of-themselves photographers or just stock pictures in the archive.

 Anna went out of the building walking on air. She hadn’t secured the post but she was sure she had made the right impression. So that was the key, just to be playful and funny and go along with must of what they said. Everyone wants to hire someone who isn’t going to be a problem and that can be deduced if the person has very strong feelings against something or is not very eager to be in there.

 The next one was in a import-export company. That appointment had been gotten for her by one of her aunts that happen to work there. She was ready to be the nice and likeable Anna but they man that interviewed her was the most sparing person she had ever met. He only said the necessary words and avoided to make eye contact with her so it was very hard to be cheerful and smile when people weren’t even paying attention. And even when she saw the chance of being funny and original, the man didn’t seem to care for it at all. The longest part of the interview was about her aunt and Anna knew the job wasn’t hers when the guy said nothing at the end of the interview.

 Annoyed by this last one. She decided to have lunch and then go on her next appointment jus six blocks away. She bought a sandwich and a bottle of water on a supermarket and went to a small park to eat. Some other people were doing the same but others just passed by talking with co-workers or friends. There were many college people too and that made her think of her friends and how college was so much easier than parading around the city begging for a job. Because after all, she thought, that was exactly what job interviews were. Most of the times, they didn’t chose people that were the best at anything. They just went for who had family there or whom they just liked, which was sad.

 Anna decided to be early for the next one so she walked very fast to the building was the interview for a secretary post in a talent agency was being held. This time it was different as she was asked to enter the interview room with three other girls. They all sat in front of two people and were asked random questions, each one answering them in just less than half a minute. It was like being on a marathon because when they all went out, they discuss how tired they were from the bombardment of questions. None of the two interviewers said anything to the girls before asking them to leave, only that they would call if they find them to be a fit for the agency.

 The girl was ready to take the long bus ride to the last appointment but then she got a phone call from one of the places she was waiting word from. They asked her to their offices right there in the financial district. She said she was only a few blocks away and thanked them for the opportunity. As he go in the next building, she received a message from the factory she was going to go later telling her the post had been filled and that she wasn’t require to go. It was a little bit sad because it was a clothing factory but she didn’t have much time to think as they made her enter an office as soon as she arrived.

 The place was beautiful because of the glass walls all over. It was a bit scary at first but then she stood up and went straight for the window. The view was breathtaking as she was standing on a 46^th floor. She almost fainted when she heard a voice behind her. She hadn’t noticed someone had come in and was about to excuse herself when she realized her interviewer was one of her former college teachers. Mrs. Flores was her 3D modeling teacher back in her architecture days so the conversation they had was very nice, mostly about college but also about Anna’s abilities in the computer.

 Mrs. Flores was actually the head of the department in a video game company and somehow Anna had forgot all about the job she had come for but her former teacher told her she would be a perfect fit because it was a small job but one were she might learn more about her trade and also from the world of video games, which was expanding every single day. Anna got very interested in the subject during the interview that was substantially longer than the other ones. When it was finished, she hugged Mrs. Flores and told her than, even if she didn’t get the job, she was very happy to see her again. The teacher told her she had always been very perceptive and agile with her work and that many people did not own her same skills.

 After going out from the building, she decided to call a friend and meet for ice cream. Anna thought she deserved a prize, as the day ended, for having confronted so many types of people at the same time. One appointment had been cancelled, she never received word for a potential seventh interview and some of them weren’t great. But some were and, talking with her friend, Anna realized that, in any case, she had her future in front of her so she shouldn’t worry more than necessary. She realized she had things to offer so, hopefully, someone would notice, even if the work world wasn't the fairest of them all.

Unwind

    It felt stupid, just waiting there as if I had nothing better to do. Besides the person that had to give me the documents was late so if the job seemed easy at one point, had now became annoying beyond imagination. I had drunk a cup of coffee and was tempted to leave after waiting for fifteen minutes. Just then, a man in a white coat arrived. It was impossible to miss her: her coat was made of fur, fluffy and beautiful and, beneath it; she wore a red dress with a deep cleavage.

 What kind of agent was this? I had never seen someone so obvious! Or maybe it was her technique, to look completely out of place in that park. She waved her hand at me and I just nodded. She sat down next to me and opened her purse. Silly me, I thought she was going to extract the papers from there but I was wrong. She grabbed a lipstick and a small mirror and began a routine she must have done twenty times a day, at least. When she was done, she put her things inside the purse and looked at me.

-       Girl’s got to be ready at all times.

 I stared at her, confused. I was sure she was the one I had to talk too but she didn’t seem to know what she had to do.

 I cleared my voice and asked, looking at a family pass by:

-       Do you…

-       I’m hungry. I haven’t had one rice for hour. That plane food… I don’t know how someone eats that. I couldn’t afford first class this time so I was under deep stress for all those hours. You know those flights.

 She clearly thought she was making sense. Or it may have been the fact that she was a very good actress because I had no idea what she was talking about. She glanced around, apparently looking for something.

-       There must be a nice restaurant in this area… Town Hall is just across the street, right?

-       Yeah…

 I stood up and offered to take her to lunch. She was thrilled by the prospect of eating and didn’t shut up in the long walk to a restaurant. Seoul was a beautiful city and I wanted to see it just as much as her but I considered myself on duty. The thing was Agent Volnal appeared to have a very different attitude towards her duties. She pointed and practically screamed at everything she thought was odd or peculiar. Being a little obvious wasn’t bad but this was a bit too much.

 We finally got to a nice little restaurant. They seem to serve every traditional dish but also other popular Asian foods like sushi or fired rice. Ms. Volnal took her coat off when seating at a table by the wall and I noticed how physical she was. What I mean is she looked like a person who goes to the gym pretty often.

-       Ms.…

-       Mirna. – She said, barely moving her lips or her eyes from the menu.

 There was a long silence in which both of us decided what to order. I wasn’t feeling too hungry myself but I preferred to go along. This was too strange to leave it at that and, most importantly, people were expecting me to have important documents by nightfall.

-       I think I might have the sashimi. I love fish.

-       Good.

-       What are you having? Maybe we can order like many small things and then share. What do you think?

-       Sure, sounds fun.

 It didn’t sound fun because time was scarce and I had been advised not to stroll for too long away from the hotel or the airport. No one wanted me to be caught by the enemy or by some foreign police. But I needed the documents and I was sure she had them.

-       We would like a sashimi plate, and some kimchi and the “kaboom” sushi you list here. And…Let’s see… What else you want honey?

 For a moment, I was too shocked by the fact she had called me honey. But then I recuperated and ordered two more plates of traditional meat and vegetables. She looked around the restaurant, admiring every single piece of the décor. I, for one, was starting to get worried. Even if we decided to eat fast, which I wouldn’t bet on, nightfall would catch us there, in a small restaurant in downtown Seoul. I had to have the info fast in order to travel early the next day.

-       Have you ever been in Asia before? – She asked.

 I jumped a bit, being to immerse in my own thoughts.

-       Yeah, I’ve gone to Japan and the Philippines. And have been in Singapore too.

-       I went to Thailand last year. Phuket. You know, the place where the tsunami happened. You wouldn’t believe; they have all working and it’s so beautiful. You should totally go there.

 As a matter of fact, I had always wanted to be there. And then the waitress came and I realized I was really hungry.

 As it happens, Mirna was a delight. For the following three hours I absolutely forgot whom I was or what it was that I was doing. We talked about everything single shallow and silly thing. We laughed at some celebrity news and also about some funny things that had happened to us in the past.

 We never said a single word about or jobs. It seemed to me we didn’t need to talk about that, seeing we worked so often and for so many hours and in so many places.

-       God, this is delicious! – Said Mirna, having some kimchi.

-       I know, right? Who would think a bunch of stewed cabbage tasted this good?

-       It’s crazy. Although, I’m more of a sweet tooth.

-       Really?

-       I just love chocolate. Any guy who gives me a box of chocolates, has a very good shot at being my husband.

 I laughed. I had never felt so at ease with a woman, at least not too recently.

-       You know, there’s a store in my hotel. They sell these Belgian chocolates. Maybe we could have some.

 And we did. After eating, we took the subway together, still laughing and pointing and smiling and talking. We must have looked as best friends all the way to the hotel. There, on the ground level, there was a large chocolate store. They even created custom made orders. Mirna and I tasted a whole bunch and we each came out with a big box for our journey back home.

 Then, it came the moment to say goodbye. I had forgotten all about work until, when she kissed my cheek and hugged me goodbye; she put her lips near my ear and said:

-       Bathroom wastebasket.

 We smiled and each other and, as she walked towards the subway station, I entered the hotel and went up to my room. I didn’t even close the main door to check in the bathroom. As she had said, there was a small flash drive beneath the plastic bag in the wastebasket. And attached to it, there was a note:

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED DINNER.

I GET BORED DOING THESE THINGS

SO I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND I NEEDED TO UNWIND.

GOOD LUCK.

M.V.