World of twilight

   Somehow, the temperature had begun to drop so fast it was impossible to get used to. The days turned darker and it was some sort of twilight that ruled over the world instead of the light people had enjoyed for so long. No one knew exactly why this was happening but many people pollution and others climate change. But it didn’t matter what humanity thought of the matter, the planet had changed and it was beginning to die faster that ever before. Animals and plants started disappearing forever and people had to build new homes in order to survive. Whatever had happened it was too late to fix it and people had no other way but to endure what had come for them. Many died in the first few weeks.

 Not all people had been created to resist something like this. Most humans had been too comfortable in recent times to even bother to think: “What if everything changes? Am I going to be ready?”. No one asked that and that’s why people just died in the middle of the streets or even killed themselves. They had no idea how to survive, how to keep going, so they chose death over life. But others did endure because they loved life so much they couldn’t just let it go. Some people got organized and created small communities that moved around the globe looking for a better climate and others occupied places where they could live a sheltered life, surviving by eating bugs or whatever there was at hand. They did what they had to do and no one in those groups ever complained.

 In one of those groups, of the kind that migrated around the world, there was a woman named Ylia. Before the transformation, she had a family consisting of a husband and two children. She wasn’t rich but she wasn’t poor either. She had a good life, living in a small apartment and working for a small tourism office. She wasn’t exceedingly happy about her life but it was her family that made her happy and fulfilled. She had always dreamed to go with them to one of the destinations she showed her clients and had been saving for that everything changed. The transformation took her children and then her husband, mad with pain and grief, killed himself when she was out trying to find some food.

 Since then, Ylia decided to start moving. She broke in several abandoned stores and gathered winter clothes and tried to get some food but she could only get her hands in frozen fish. So every night she would make a small fire with some igniting stones and eat the frozen fish, that was always small and tasteless but it was better than to eat nothing. She moved on foot and off the roads, in order to avoid groups of people that had come to realize how much they loved to kill people. According to them, as humanity was already doomed, they only wanted to help by moving on with the process. So Ylia stayed far from roads and turned off her fires when she was done cooking her fish.

 One day, when she was doing that same thing, she noticed a presence near her. It was something scary, as if she was about to be attacked by monsters or something. So she stood up and yelled like mad towards the tall grass around her. Soon, a group of three children came out of the grass. They were all filthy and it was obvious they hadn’t had anything to eat for days. She could see the rib cage of one of them. They didn’t talk, just sat down near her and stayed there. She took some of her fish and cooked a piece for every one of them. To be honest, she did it kind of reluctantly because the fish was not eternal and soon she would have to start hunting or stealing something else. She had to feed herself and know; apparently these ids needed her in order to survive.

 When the light was even dimmer in the world, she knew it was night so she lay down in the ground and the children did the same. She didn’t have anything to give them to sleep better but the only thing she could for them is to ask them to sleep all together, all very close to one another in order to keep the heat. They seemed to understand, so they got close to her and fell asleep fast. It was difficult not to think about his own children, who had no chance against this kind of life, against the destruction of what humanity used to mean and of the world, that had become visibly fed up with every single person. It wasn’t a secret any more that our own world wanted us out fast.

 The next day, Ylia and the children started walking up, through the forest towards the tallest part of the hills that separated the city from the ocean. Her logic was that maybe the ocean creature had not died out yet, so maybe there was a way to catch something to eat before it died or got extinct soon. But having the children with her proved good and bad at the same time.  They were fast and agile but sometimes they got tired really fast and she needed to have a certain rhythm when going cross-country like this. In the mornings she would always tell them that they needed to be fast and never to stop for hunger or thirst. All of that could wait once they were safe somewhere else.

 But they were children and she knew she couldn’t ask that much of them. They were often afraid and even one of them seemed to be closer to death that the other two. She didn’t discuss it because she didn’t want to face something like that again, but it was obvious he wasn’t doing well.  The day arrived when they saw the end of the hills and knew the ocean could not be very far. But then, an arrow flew directly at the sick child, taking his life. The others reaction was slow and Ylia had to push the other two children in order to avoid the arrows that flew their way.

 Hidden behind a rock, Ylia confirmed what she had thought: it was a group of killers and they knew there were more humans to kill. A bit nervous but resolved, Ylia came out of hiding, surprising the children, and took out a gun she had hidden inside her big coat. It was a revolver that she started shooting with, wounding at least three of the members of the killer gang. She was not very good at shooting and new she wouldn’t manage to kill anyone but she was successful in scaring the hell out of them. They all ran, turning back to where they had come from. When they disappeared, Ylia and the children when back to where the kid had fallen and decided to bury him beneath the rocks that covered the hillside. She was about the leave the place when she saw the children doing something she hadn’t seen in a while: they were praying.

 They spent some time there, the children praying and Ylia thinking what their next move should be. She knew she needed a better weapon than the one she had but that revolver was the only thing she could find. In fact, it was that revolver that took away her husband’s life. But had not thought about him when she fired towards the killers. She had not thought of anything. Ylia realized she was becoming like all those people that were just shadows of what they used to be, just killers or machines that lived but not really liked to be alive. Ylia was on that edge but she knew she wouldn’t be there for long.

 With the remaining children she started walking towards the ocean. She knew it couldn’t be too far so she kept on walking, despite the complaining of the children that did not talk but did growl and complain on their own way.  She gave them some hours to rest but then they were attacked again. More arrows fell off the sky, like rain, and landed in one of the children, killing him and on Ylia’s shoulder. She took the hand of the remaining child and ran like mad towards where she thought the ocean was. They didn’t stop for a minute and then she knew the kid wouldn’t survive. She was carrying dead weight and it may be her fault that he was dead. He collapsed a few minutes later, dead too.

 She went on alone, running at times but tired and bleeding from her should. Ylia looked around and then ran and then stopped and ran again. She was erratic and insecure because she knew what had come. Then, she heard the sound of the waves and felt sand that was wet. Her happiness filled her so much that she just ran towards the water and got in the ocean, wanting to swim there and drink the water even if it was salty. But it wasn’t. The ocean was now acidic and she had just drunk a huge amount of poison, not unlike cyanide. Ylia died with a rather disturbing smile on her face and with the realization that she had done what she could but her death and everyone else’s, was already written.

The cauldron

   Terrified with what he had seen in the cauldron, the knight ran down the stairs of the tower. He was running so fast he missed a step and his heavy armor made him fall hard on to the ground. He broke his neck and there ended the legend of the brave knight from the valley. What just happened was exactly the same thing he had seen in the thick and ever bubbling water of the cauldron, which only needed fire in order to reveal its secrets to the person in front of it. However, as the knight had realized, the cauldron did not receive orders or commands of any type so he showed whatever he wanted from the life of the person peeking in his waters, and as an element of black magic, the cauldron often showed people their deaths, which often happened before they could leave the tower.

 There was no castle to speak off. The dark witch who had created the cauldron had left it in that tower because there a person would have to go through several trials in order to finally get to the cauldron. There was a wasteland with living dead underneath it, a sea of quicksand, hungry wolves, rivers of fire and many other horrible creatures in the dark. It was no place for anyone who just wanted to take a look. The people that went there had decided, consciously, to ask the cauldron for its wisdom. They still believed the object was magical and good because the legend said so and no one had ever returned fro musing it. So many valiant folk went and died, their bodies adding up to the army of the dead of the wasteland or dying in some other horrible way.

 One day, a woman appeared in the far side of the wasteland. She was very beautiful and was completely alone. What was very strange was the fact that none of the creatures tried to eat her or even growl at her. Every single one of them kept a distance and she just walked slowly over the ashes, the crushed bones and the skulls of so many men and women who had come this far just to die and never had their questions answered. She got to the tower and, patiently, she walked up, looking through the small windows on the side of the tower. There was no one. She finally got to the cauldron and there she transformed into a very old lady, with a very mean face.

 It was the witch, the one that had created the cauldron. After many years of exile, she had decided to come here and wait. Out of nowhere, she materialized a kitchen, a bed and a loom. The room was also expanded in the inside but had been an imperceptible change from the outside. The old woman boiled up some water and made herself some tea and as she did, she just gazed at the cauldron. She couldn’t change it anymore, she couldn’t do anything for the souls that had been taken by it but she could offer the next man or woman the chance of seeing something more that his or her death. She wanted the cauldron, for the first time, to be able to grant wishes. She would do it only once and that’s would be it.

 The truth is she waited for several years, maybe even hundreds of years. As a witch, time didn’t affect her in the same way that it affected every other living thing. She would just cook and drink tea and work on beautiful pieces she made with her loom. That was until she felt someone entering the wasteland and she decided to take a look from the window. Using her magic, she was able to see it was a woman, a noble woman to be exact. Somehow, she had decided to cross the obstacle wearing a gown, with her heels on her hands. Her hair and makeup were all run down and her expression was desperate. It was clear she wanted something out of the cauldron and that she would be an interesting choice for the wish.

 She was almost caught by the dead, but she just took off her dress and threw her shows into a river of fire to be able to pass. She was very skilled as she kicked every creature in the right place, and jumped when she needed to. The witch thought that maybe that woman was too skilled, too bright to be here asking a cauldron for advice or a wish. Besides, the noble people did believe in fairy tales but would rarely go out to the world and try to see if their beliefs were actually truth. So the witch decided to wait and not to intervene in the good luck the woman was having crossing the obstacles. She would be with her in no time and it was important that she realized what kind of person the witch was. So she made everything disappear except the cauldron that was impervious to magic and just stood in the middle of the room, waiting.

 When the woman finally arrived, she fell to the floor tired, and did not even glanced at the witch. It seemed like hours passed with them just like that. The witch wanted to say something but the woman seemed to ignore her presence or at least not even care about her. It was when the noble woman stood up and walked to the cauldron, that the old woman stopped her with her cane and asked her what was she looking in this place. The woman finally looked at her and the witch screamed. That woman was no ordinary human, she was another witch, one much more powerful and twisted than she was.

 The noble witch announced herself to be Morgana, the eternal sorceress that had heard of the cauldron and had decided to destroy it. The older witch asked her why would she do that. She explained that the cauldron caused death, despair , fear and false hope, so why not let it be there to teach a lesson to all the humans that had always hurt the witches and their brothers and sisters. Morgana stood still not saying a word. She had, however, transformed from the almost noble woman to a beautiful tall woman with purple eyes and hairs as black as the night. She thought about what the older woman said and finally, she just smiled.

 With one word, one in an ancient language that no one ever spoke anymore, Morgana engulfed the old woman in deep red fire, burning her to death like many men had done to other witched before. But when she ended the fire, the witch was unharmed physically but mentally broken. She lay on the ground sobbing, not saying a single word. That was Morgana’s way of punishing a witch for letting her feeling rule over her. Even though as her words had been very convincing, her heart told the red fire the truth and that’s why she would never again be the same with or even woman that she had been before. She was now powerless and useless and would die soon but from natural causes. That was the price to pay.

 Morgana then peered into the cauldron and look at its surface for a long time. Nothing was revealed, the blackish water did not reveal any images or made any special sounds. It was as if the cauldron didn’t work on her but she knew better than that. It was because her magic protected her from the spell that had been put into it. So she tried to think of another way to use the cauldron to her advantage. Maybe in battle? Or put it in a less safe place? All those traps and trials on the way to the tower were really useless. If the point of the cauldron was to cause harm and even kill, why not put it in an open space and just let humans die for their stupidity? Maybe that was it… Morgana decided to take the cauldron back with her but then she realized something she had not expected: the cauldron wouldn’t move.

 She tried doing it in many ways, with her arms, her magic and her mind but nothing worked. The cauldron seemed to be glued to the ground somehow and just wouldn’t move. The old woman, still lying on the ground, started laughing like crazy. Morgana lifted her with magic and demanded she told her what to do to move the cauldron or she would kill her, this time for real. The witch looked at Morgana in the eyes and just spit at her. This enraged the legendary sorceress, who threw the witch against the hard stone wall and tried again to move the cauldron. She grabbed by the sides and pulled but she would only see the black waters inside and nothing else.

 Then, Morgana’s mouth began to dry and her eyesight suddenly disappeared. She screamed and fell to the ground, begin for the witch to do something to help her. The witch slowly stood up and transformed into the beautiful woman that had arrived before. She told Morgana that her magic was far darker and ancient that hers and that she should never underestimate the power of someone who has not only caused suffering but who has also felt it her skin, flesh and bones. Morgana found her feet and begged the witch for forgiveness and asked her to be her apprentice. She said they could be unstoppable if they united their powers, something the older witch was momentarily interested by.

 But with one stroke of her cane, she made Morgana’s body break into a million pieces that fell in the ground before being absorbed by the cauldron. The witch then disappeared and left the cauldron alone once again. But now, if anyone gets close enough, Morgana’s screams can still be heard, deep in the black waters of the mysterious cauldron.

Dear you...

   Dear you,

 I dreamt about you again. Isn’t that strange? I hadn’t done that for quite some time. To be honest, I think I missed you there, in the shadows of my mind and my thoughts.

 You were great, by the way. I could feel your touch, your breathing and your whole presence with me. We were in bed and about to make love but we didn’t get quite there. I’m afraid I woke up a little bit beforehand. But that’s not important. What is important is that I felt you there, so close, like I had never felt you in many months, maybe in a year.

 Once I fell asleep, I remembered your scent, your gentle touch. And, although I couldn’t see your face, I knew it was you. It’s always you anyway and sometimes that makes me go mad because dreams can be very well created, very realistic and apparently honest. I wanted you by my side this morning, I wanted to hug you hard, to be able to smell your hair and feel every little feature of your skin. But I couldn’t and that makes me the saddest person on Earth right now.

 How is it that you can enter my dreams like that? You’re there with me, for real, I know it. I feel my mind is not wrong when your arms do feel warm and when your legs join mine and we kiss. It’s you, I just know it is. How can you do it? How can you bare to be here with me and then disappear as if nothing had happened? Am I even important to you, at all? Can you bare to see me go away, walk away from you and declare how much I despise you for stepping away like a shade on sunrise.

 You have been doing this for many months now, maybe years. You know my mind is not the best, my memories are misplaced but my feelings help me not to loose it. And, to be honest, your presence helps me not to go completely mad. Isn’t that funny? Someone that isn’t even here helps me be grounded and balanced. It sound insane and yet it is but it helps. Since you started entering my dreams I have some good nights and I can hope again as I never was able to do. I thank you for that.

 But I know that you know this can only be maintained for a little while. You, coming and going, it’s just not going to work. And not because I need you so much by my side but because I cannot pretend I feel I’m loosing my mind. When you touched my body and I touched yours this morning, I felt on fire. And this fire was not only coming from my heart and my yearning for your skin, but from my mind. My brain is now burning with desires, with needs. My mind wants you to stay too and she can be much more compelling than the rest of me.

 So, would you stay? I think I know the answer to this question but anyway I ask because I know I need to hear it, to read it from you. I need you to tell me something that I can define, that I can understand once and for all because my mind is on the edge, about to fall into an abyss of eternal darkness and despair. I don’t want it to fall into that and all because of you. I don’t want that, I can’t bare the thought of you being my demise. I just can’t do that.

 I have been there before. On one of your absences, I was down there for quite a while. I know now how despair really feels like, how it smells and how it sticks to you like glue that just won’t let go. Darkness was all around me and I had to save myself. To be clear, I would never ask you to save me because that’s not why I need you. You know very well I’m strong enough to withstand anything like that. With every second of despair, of being lost and wandering through life, I’ve grown.

 My looks don’t really give it away, right? I know, I have never been a physical man in any senses but believe when I say that strength comes in many shapes and forms. You could say life has trained me not to depend on anyone, on anything. But, yet again, I’m still human and I still feel like one. I cannot prevent myself from feeling lost sometimes, eager to change or wanting to feel those other feelings, the warm ones that are always there when you are around. That’s one I need from you, what I seek when you’re near me. Not a protection of any kind or someone to protect. Rather, you just make me feel.

 Feel. That sounds so simple, doesn’t it? Maybe it is. Maybe we just complicate our lives, trying to make everything look much more difficult than it is when, the truth is, feeling is just letting yourself go. Maybe that’s why I dream about you sometimes: I let go completely when I’m sleep and then you come and make my mornings just perfect. I swear they are with your kisses, your touch, the sexual desire and that beautiful warmth you bring to my life. If I could dream with you every night, I think I wouldn’t be able to stand it. It would be to much for me. I might be strong but not that strong.

 What’s awful is that I don’t know what you like in the mornings, besides kisses and hugs. Do you like to drink coffee? And if you do, how do you like your coffee? I personally hate it but I would keep one of those machines for you, just to make you happier in the mornings. I can almost picture you, standing by the kitchen counter, sipping from a mug, blowing softly over the coffee to make it go cold. You wouldn’t need to look at me for me to know I would be undoubtedly and deeply in love with you.

 No, don’t be scared. I don’t think I love you know. But I do think that might be possible in the future. If I keep looking at you like I do, if you keep entering my head as you always do, the only possible outcome is that I would become madly in love with you. I would breath for you and walk for you. That may be the future. But again, who knows if there’s going to be a future at all? Maybe we won’t get there; maybe life finds a way to keep us apart for good, only visiting in each other in dreams and illusions until we go insane.

 See? I’m never too far from that word. I guess it haunts me, it chases me through life and I just can’t escape from it. But… It makes me think. What if that’s because of you? What if I’m going insane because I’m already in love with you? People say love is unconditional and universal but that may not be true, love might be different for each person, each individual in this world and that’s how you might be driving me insane. You’re making me fall in love with you. And maybe love is only a poison to me, a venom far worse from anything found in nature.

 It makes sense, when you think about it. That pain, that agonizing pain you feel when you care for someone. It feels like a poison, slowly entering the body slowly, working for years until it finally takes its victim. Strangely, that sounds even more romantic than any other thing I’ve ever heard about. If love was a poison, I would drink it gladly but only if it came for you. That’s my honest answer because I know, every time I see your face, that make me feel different, special, unique and small. And that’s all very strange but amazing.

 I know, for a fact, that I’m not amazing or unique or anything like that. I’m just one small man in a world that is larger than him but that’s also small and insignificant. So who really cares about anything? Who cares if love kills or it doesn’t? I certainly don’t. Who cares if it drives you insane, if it makes you lose yourself completely? Again, I don’t. Because it’s a gamble, a choice you make and I think I might be able to make that choice. Now? No, not now. I have no shame in saying I’m not ready for such a commitment, for such a deep dive.

 But I will. We will all be ready, one fay or the other. There’s a different day, for each of us, in which we will be ready to do what it takes to achieve what we want to achieve, to reach the top of the mountain that has been elusive to our hands. But the mountain doesn’t go away just because you fail or die. It will always be there and one day we will have what it takes to take it for us and make it ours. That’s whom you are for me, my beautiful-snow capped mountain.

 You know? I need you here now. But reality has just fallen with its bright veil around me and I see now that you are not. You are not. And I am. Now I have to keep being until I have my moment, until the day arrives that I can be more than what I am now. Then, hopefully, I will be able to touch you, kiss you and tell you how much I thank you for being there.