Everything had become a little too
overbearing in the inside, so I made my way outside. There was a large porch
kind of thing, where people could have a smoke or just go down to the beach and
relax there. Of course, being a naked party, the organizers had been smart
enough to put several warnings on the sand for people to avoid the water. Most
were drunk and it would have been a grave mistake for any of them to enter the
water in that state. There was even a lifeguard on duty, which seemed to be
very bored.
I went around the house, all along the porch,
and finally found a spot to be alone and in peace. There was some kind of
mannequin offering cigarettes, reminding people to only grab one. You could
light it up with a built-in lighter that the doll had on its hand. It was kind
of a clever idea and I was in such desperate need to relax that the cigarette
was essential for that. I didn’t really smoke that much in my daily life, but
this kinds of parties made me resort to that kind of vice in a very predictable
way.
The air was rather warm that night, yet there
was a wind blowing from the ocean that felt chilly and gave goose bumps in an
instant. I found myself caressing my arms as I smoked and watched some people
playing around on the beach and the lifeguard yawning, but still watching them
very closely. I could hear the ocean and it could be seen but only because a
red lantern, kind of a Chinese thing, had been lit in the middle of the beach,
right at the center of the section reserved for people that had come to the
party.
Curiously, I had come because of a flyer I had
been given in another beach, the official gay beach very nearby. The truth is,
the gay didn’t really wanted me to have the flyer, it was a thing of the wind
blowing and him being unable to keep his things in order. He must have felt
ashamed when I grabbed the paper and asked what it was about. He explained and
just let me have the flyer, obviously dreading the idea of a guy like me going
to such an event. I have to say I wanted to laugh at him but I didn’t.
They were giving the flyers to all hot guys on
the beach and it was clear they didn’t consider me one. I wasn’t ripped, with
an eight pack and tall as a tree. I didn’t have any of that, even if I had been
working out at the gym like a crazy person in order to be looking nice for this
holiday. I had planned it for a while, something that I would be doing for
myself and by myself, so I really wanted to look as good as possible. I had
even bought a speedo type swimwear that made me a little bit uncomfortable. The
flyers guys weren’t helping me a lot in that department, but I just went
through it.
My attempted laughter at the flyer guy had
been caused by the idea that I found the party they were promoting something
silly and the kind of thing I would never participate in. So I just forgot
about it until I saw the flyer back in the hotel, after having a shower and
preparing to go down and have dinner. I read the whole thing and I have to
confess I found it to be very interesting. So much so, that I decided to
investigate a little further. I spent the duration of my dinner reading on my
cellphone about those kinds of parties.
The mere idea of being naked around other
people made me laugh out of nervousness. I wasn’t able to imagine being in such
an event because I had always been too self-conscious about my physical
appearance. Even after so many hours of workout and dedication to my body, I
was still ashamed to parade without a t-shirt, much less being totally naked. I
still had some “love handles” as well as many things that those guys on the
beach didn’t have. But somehow, I decided to take it on as a challenge.
They couldn’t stop me from going and I had
decided it was the perfect kind of thing to push myself and just try new
things. Maybe it wasn’t going to be my type of party or my kind of people, but
that wasn’t the important part. The idea was to experience something different,
something that I would have never done back home, being afraid of running into
someone or something like that. I had decided to be a little bit more
adventurous, in order to accept myself a little bit more, to love myself more
in order to live a healthier life.
So,
silly me, I looked all over my luggage for the best clothes to wear. I knew it
was supposed to be a naked party, but my guess was that everyone arrived
clothed. So it could be nice to give the right impression from the first
moment, even if things were going to change in a matter of minutes. So I chose
one of my favorite shirts, matching shorts and flip-flops. I also picked the
best underwear possible: they were clean, had really bright and beautiful color
and could attract attention even if there was a fire in the place.
The house was located down the road from my
hotel. I neglected to realize I had to walk a long stretch of a very dark road,
but I finally arrived and was kind of glad to see so many people there already.
They hadn’t opened the place yet, so they were all waiting for the doors to
open. I was very pleased to realize that there were so many different kinds of
men: tall ones and short ones, chubby ones and athletic ones. And so on. It was
very comforting to see that no matter who gave away the flyers, people would
come because it was their right to have a nice time with many other different
people.
There was a large locker room, in which I was
able to grab a tiny locker for my clothes. It was kind of chaotic at one point,
but eventually everyone got in and had somewhere to put their things. A key was
assigned to each person, corresponding to a locker, and you had to keep the key
with you at all times. They asked people to never remove footwear only because
it was a standard thing but it was also clarified that they did not use any
glasses on the party, preferring plastic cups instead, which seemed like a
better idea.
The light in the locker room was dark but also
very red, so it was hard to actually take a look at anyone. That made me feel a
little bit more at ease of being in such a crowded room. But it was getting
even more crowded as time went by, so I just took everything off pretty fast
and locked my locker in order to move on to the main part of the event, which
took place on most rooms of the house. From the outside, it looked like a
typical summer beach house, but it was clear they had made some modifications
in the inside.
For instance, there was no proper kitchen.
Instead, its place had been taken by a bar and some sort of snack area, each
tended by a group of very attractive men. For a moment, it looked like
something funny but the more time I spent there, the more comfortable it
seemed. They clarified that if people wanted to have sexual intercourse, they
could do it in the upper floors. The only limitation was that people had to
leave their drinks in the lower level. Besides that, the porch and the beach
were opened, also with restrictions.
Up to the moment I went out to the porch, I
had been walking around the lower level of the house, having some snacks and
drinks. I even found myself talking to people but they would mostly leave for
the upper level and I didn’t really feel ready for that. So that’s why I
stepped out of the house and smoked for a bit in the porch. When I finished
smoking, I decided to walk on the sand and just sit there for a while. Somehow,
my brain felt filled with ideas and questions and so many things, that it made
me feel tired.
The lifeguard came down his post and walked
towards a group of guys that were playing around and reminded them to keep it
civilized, as drunken shenanigans were not acceptable. He seemed pretty serious
so they stopped playing around and just went back to the house.
He then turned to me and, to my surprise, he
smiled. He started talking and then I answered and he sat besides me. I have no
idea for how long I stayed there, talking to him. But at the end, we agreed on
meeting the next day on the public beach, to talk some more and maybe have
something to eat.
I’m already looking forward to it.
