Guy with iPhone

That's all guys want. And girls too. A guy with an iPhone.

In today's world things, stuff, objects are what define us. Not what we think or do or say but what we own. Going to the newest store or coffee shop, buying the latest trend in technology or clothes, watching the "hip" shows on TV or trying to be like the hottest celebrity. All that is important now.

But what about us? The real us, I mean. These days who er are is extreme diluted, as if what we own was water and our painted souls just got to insignificant in its presence.

What is really incredible is the fact that many people fabricate originality and sell it as if it was unique and never repeatable. But it is the opposite. We are unique by the mere fact of being born but that seems not to be enough for any of us.

As a species, we fail to appreciate life. We recognize ourselves as the ruling species of this Earth, more intelligent and adaptable but are we really? Specially when, for the largest part, we use our lives only to imitate and pretend instead of living it and nothing more?

Just go outside for some time, it doesn't have to be much. You'll see people. Look at their way of using clothes, their way of wearing make up, even the way people talk and walk. In the most part, all of it has been prefabricated. And the source is not a surprise. The media is today the most powerful force in the world, more than any petty politician or religious leader. Media is here to stay and judges us all every single day.

We created it so we should know what is about but we seem to have lost control of it. Instead of using it as a tool to unite the world and share cultural heritage, media has transformed in the almighty God of us all. Church is inside our homes and, even more dangerous, inside our minds.

Media has become so powerful that everything it tells us, we assume it as the truth. And even if we don't, we have no way of really contradicting it as it handles almost every aspect of modern day societies, here and anywhere else in the world.

The worst are the mixed messages. For year media, along with other industries at its service, has told us that we most look a certain way. Skinny, in general, but also with certain features to be more attractive to others, never mind our gender.

So that's where all the perfume ads are born. Artsy, maybe. But they tell who should we be or at least what we should aspire to be. And people believe it and enforce it.

For example, create a profile in any dating site or even any social media website. For one week put a picture of someone else. Women should find the picture of a woman with big breasts, tiny waist and pouty lips and men should post a picture of a shirtless guy, gym body, nice teeth. A week after, change it for a picture of yourself, out of bed (for real). See what gets more attention.

And this even translates to subcultures. Gay men are a perfect example or superficial thought. And no, its not about homophobia, is how homosexual men have adapted to their so called community being mistreated for years. So it was preferable not to form a bond with someone so sex has stayed most important. And that, is hardly arguable. So big dick pics are a huge thing. I'm a gay man, I should know.

But when I said mixed messages I also refer to those endearing campaigns, ads or others, most likely featuring a celebrity, that tell us how great it is the be ourselves and how everyone is going to love each other so much just because we accept our differences.

I call bullshit on that one. Why? Because humankind is hypocritical, we say one thing but do the opposite just seconds after. That's how many wars have started and how geopolitics works. Many people don't really like each other but they try to keep it peaceful as wars are often too expensive and money is first.

Many people may disagree with all that's being said, more like written, in these past paragraphs. But it is the truth, take it as you want. As said before, just go outside, take a walk and take a good look at the people, everyday folks walking around with their families or in couples.

Do you really see happiness? Or do you see people just content, happy enough? Is like asking about freedom, a phenomenon not very different from this one.

So that's how we can come back around and realize we do want to be those people, the one in the advertisements and the movies. We want to be easily happy, we want love that is unconditional and perfect and even better if it comes in the shape of someone we have learned is physically suitable.

We're not the same humankind that came out of caverns and mated only to have offspring. No, now love is a status factor in society, like a very important prize that not everyone gets and certainly not in the same way. This affects specially the people born after the media explosion, the sixties and seventies.

So that's why, we look for that guy with an iPhone, a guy that helps us get where we want and to be who we've been told to be. And if you disagree, you fail. Because the only way to change that reality is by accepting it and then slowly turn it into something else. After all, we made it happen. So we can make it stop.

Beauty

Flora Summers was a psychiatrist. She worked in a facility, the biggest in the country, that treats different types of disorders.

She decided to study this field as her grandmother suffered from senile dementia and had died during her last year in high school. She loved grandma and the ineptitude of the people in understanding her condition had been essential in the decisions Flora made from then on.

Now over forty, she married a gynecologist and had a young son. She watched over her mother with great care as the probabilities that she would suffer the same illness her grandma did, were very high.

Everyday, she was in charge of watching over the patients in ward C. In the mornings, she made her rounds, checking them out, talking a bit, watching over their diets and recent behavior. She had lunch in an office with a window towards the patients dining room as she liked to see them in different kind of situations. She thought that was pivotal in understanding their diseases.

One day, she realized Thomas, a patient suffering from depression, had been moved to ward D. Ward D was reserved for those that were deemed "untreatable". She hated to go to that place as the people that attended the patients there were rude and did not treat anyone well.

A week later, Thomas's room was taken over Rudy, another young man. As psychiatrist of the ward, she had to interview the patient so they could now what kind of medication, diet and treatment he should follow.

When he entered her office, she couldn't help being sad: he looked like a ghost, very pale with big dark circles beneath his eyes. He had beautiful eyes, the color of honey. She started by telling him that. She had read he suffered anorexia and depression had already kicked in: he had attempted to kill himself twice.

The boy wasn't very talkative. Not uncommon to be honest, except in those with diseases like persecutory delusion. He looked at his hands all the time, answering only in "yes" or "no" and sometimes just shrugging. When he left, she realized it was yet another one of those cases, the kind you never knew how to solve or how it would end as they depended highly on the patient and their surroundings.

The days passed by and Flora tried harder to make Rudy come out of his shell. She had been sent information about his school and other activities and had even visited his parents. No, she didn't blame them although it was clear he had never felt like he could talk to them, as they only found out about his condition when he committed suicide the second time.

After that, she summoned him every other day to talk and she started, after having read every piece of information, with a blunt question:

 - Why did you tried to hang yourself?

This time, he looked at her, nervous.

 - I have seen many patients that have attempted to take their own lives but hanging is quite  uncommon.

Then he talked, the words just poured out as if she had said a magical word. He told Flora that he wanted people to feel bad for him been dead, even his parents. He wanted all to see him as miserable as he was.

Over the course of many sessions, Rudy told everything the doctor already knew and more. She had learned he was a TV fan, watching all shows and watching all kinds of movies with his friend Robert. He said he loved candy and specially ice cream. Flora told him she could bring her some next time but that threw him over the edge and she had to call a nurse to calm him down and take him to his room.

Rudy was visibly upset by something and had decided not to eat. But what was it? Flora knew that he had a profile in many social networks, that he didn't liked sports and that he had just finished high school. So, what was wrong?

In the next session, Rudy told her he was sorry to have lost his temper but that he didn't like to talk about food. Flora answered they had to, as that seemed to be a part of the problem. She told him he had anorexia and depression, and that the combination was hard to live with.

Flora asked him to give her his hand and, with a bit of hesitation, he did: she pulled up his sleeve and made him look the marks the cuts had left there.

 - That was the first time, yes?

He nodded. Next she asked him to take off his shirt and take a look into a mirror on one of the corners of the room.

 - What do you see?

He knew what she meant: the skin covering the bones and little more. Rudy did not say a word. He pulled down his shirt and cleaned off a tear from his face.

 - Do you see a healthy person or an unhealthy one?

Rudy answered he saw a fat person, a person no one wanted to be with, someone that felt ashamed. Flora told him she was going to change his diet a bit as he needed many vitamins and nutrients to be healthy. He didn't care.

On the weekend, the doctor thought of Rudy while watching her son play in the garden with her husband. She thought of how awful it would be if her son felt like Rudy, misplaced and ugly. She was brought to reality when the phone rang. From outside, her husband watched her cry and went in with their son.

Months later, she continued to work in the facility but had also started a venture of her own: at least once a week, she would visit a school or a college's auditorium and then just talk with young and older teens. Her subject: the destructive beauty standards in our times.

As it happens, the day of Rudy's burial, his parents approached Flora and thanked her for her help. They told her that Rudy wanted to get better but just couldn't. His sister, a young and beautiful twelve year old, talked to her after her parents just couldn't do it anymore. She told Flora they had found things in Rudy's laptop: apparently he had been bullied as he had uploaded pictures all round and he had been attacked for being "ugly".

Even more, he had written somewhere he felt bad because of what he saw all around, the beauty standards that were impossible to follow and that he had felt more and more guilty because he wasn't like everybody else wanted to be.

Now Flora knew why what happened, had taken place. She had decided to make something for her community and started the talks, to teach teenagers not to feel obliged to be something they weren't and to love yourself. She always said "being healthy is not the same as been skinny or muscular. It's about loving your body and doing the best for yourself".

Now, she really felt she was helping people and not only keeping them safe or sane. She thanked Rudy for this and always made sure her son knew he could talk to her.