The first thing I heard was the automated
voice indicating people if they had to stand on the doors on the left or the
right. I heard the sound as if it was coming from a place very far from me but
then it seemed to become clearer. That made me open my eyes and then I realized
I was in one of the metro trains I had used years earlier to get to know the
city of Rome. People were talking amongst themselves, some tourists were
looking at a map above one of the doors and a small child looked at me straight
in the eye.
I decided to stand up and get out of the
train as soon as possible. There was another audio automated service and then
the train entered a station. I didn’t really see the name of the station I was
in. I only wanted to run away from that underground location in order to check
out something above ground and feel a little les intoxicated. When I finally
got out to the street, I felt very dizzy, my legs had problems letting me stand
up and every sound and image apparently adjust itself in a few seconds.
There was a park bench near the exit of the
station and I decided to use it because I wasn’t feeling good at all. I felt my
head was spinning around. Besides, everyone around me spoke a language I didn’t
know and I didn’t really felt safe speaking to them in English. I felt I had
forgotten everything about myself. I tried to remember what I was doing before
appearing on the subways but I couldn’t remember.
A young nun then came up to me and said
something in Italian. She spoke very slowly for me to understand what she was
saying but it wasn’t good enough for me. Anything that involved thinking hurt
too much. She decided to give her hand and I grabbed it without thinking it
much. She made me walk around a beautiful but very lonely neighborhood until we
arrived to a very typical Roman house with an inner patio. I didn’t know much
about religious people but that must have been a convent.
She fed me and gave me something to read as he
washed my clothes on a very modern washing machine. I waited on my underwear in
the kitchen and was very ashamed when a group of four nuns entered the kitchen
and I was there naked, reading a magazine. The nun that had saved me, I think
her name was Angela, appeared out of nowhere and explained the situation to the
rest of the sisters.
They decided to give me a room for the night,
as the weather was not as sunny as before and the clothes may take a longer
while to be ready. I couldn’t deny the offer, even if I had wanted too. But I
didn’t because in that place I felt the peace I needed to organize who I was
before appearing on that city and why that had happened.
That night was very strange. I was assigned
one of the cells in the upper floors, were formerly the new novices slept
before they were fully accepted as nuns. Sister Angela explained to me that
they hadn’t had a new girl in a long time, as she had been the last one. The
woman looked in her late thirties and explained further, commenting that girls
nowadays had no desire to get in contact with their religious roots and have a
life of celibacy and dedicated to the Lord.
Through the very small window in my room, I
was able to see the moon. It looked so beautiful but at the same time a little
bit false. I pinched my hand in order to know if I hadn’t been dreaming or
something but it didn’t work. I was really in that small room and had to get
used to the idea of not remembering anything about my past o at least not in a
very obvious way. I was lost, technically, and had to wait and see what I could
do to go back to wherever I was before.
I slept strangely at peace. My eyes closed
early and I woke up early too. Normally, I would require several hours to feel
rested but in that moment I felt I could take on the whole world by myself. It
was a very nice feeling that I had never really experimented before. Normally I
woke up much more tired than I was before going to bed. I guessed it had
something to do with the strict code the nuns had going on there but I also
expected it to be something related to the fact that I was in blank, no
memories inside.
The next day, I put on my clean clothes and
they all came to the door to bud farewell to me. They were all very kind people
and I would have loved to see more of them, maybe take a picture. But somehow,
I didn’t think of that then. It would have been the best proof to guarantee
that what had happened had not been a dream or an illusion caused by my mind. I
waved at them as I walk further away from the convent, until I didn’t see them
anymore and realized how lonely I felt, again.
After walking a little bit more, I arrived in
a square: it was very beautiful and tourists were all over the place taking
pictures and discussing the shapes and sizes of the figures in the fountains. I
was trying to understand what a couple was saying near me when I heard a voice,
a very strong male voice coming from somewhere. At first, I couldn’t tell what
he was saying. Then, I understood he was saying my name.
I looked around for the owner of the voice but
there was no one that seemed to have that very deep register near where I was.
Besides, no one seemed to be looking at me, ignoring the fact that I was there
as if my existence bothered them so much that they had decided to ignore until
I decided to disappear.
That happened a few seconds later, when the
voice called upon me again and I understood that it was calling me from very
far. Walking rather slowly, I was able to follow the deep voice saying my name.
I walked through deserted streets, packed avenues and beautiful gardens until I
reached some long and white stairs. The bright sun above made them look as if
they were from glass.
The voice called upon me again, urging me to
come to him fast. His message to me had changed so I knew I was very near. When
I arrived at the top of the staircase, I realized there was a museum up there.
There was a small square and on one side the entrance and on the other side,
the exit of the museum. The voice appeared to be coming from the exit so I
walked towards there.
Beyond the machines that controlled the exit
process of the museum, there was a fountain and I realized the voice was coming
from there. But there was a security guard nearby and the only way I could’ve
entered the museum was by jumping over the machines. I decided to pretend I was
reading some pamphlets they had on a table by the door. The guard finally
moved, in order to face towards the inner courtyard of the museum. I took my
chance and jumped, landing silently on my feet.
I wanted to scream in celebration because I
had never done anything so cool in my life, but I realized it wasn’t really the
place and the moment for that. So I turned around and walked towards a small
garden they had by a room filled with sculptures. The faces of those objects
seemed to be looking at me but I knew the voice was coming from a fountain in
the garden. Sure enough, there was a huge figure of the God of the seas, Poseidon,
on the fountain.
The figure did not move but it did talk to me.
He told me the Gods had decided to bring me to Rome in order to let me know everything
was going to be all right. When I heard that, I didn’t know if I wanted to
laugh or punch the statue or what. I got closer to the water and the figure
told me that I was there by choice and that I could’ve left at any moment, if I
had wanted to leave.
As I heard that, I felt dizzy again and then
the world became blurry for an instant. Then everything went dark, I felt my
head hitting something and then my eyes opened once again. I had fallen from my
bed, my insane dream having finished. I was covered in sweat and had to go to
the bathroom to clean myself, ignoring the metro card that fell with me from
the bed to the floor.
