Let's set the record straight

   Please, stand up with me and promise you will never stop doing whatever it is you love doing. Please promise you will never quit enjoying life and been positive about things that you love, just because someone else says that you’re not good for them. You know why?

 Because we are over seven thousand million human beings in this world and, even so, no one has the right to diminish you or your love for anything. Not one person, dead or alive, can do that? Not your teachers (good or bad) not your parents, not your so-called friends, not people you meet once or people you talk to a lot. No one, simple as that, can tell you what you are able to say or not, what you can feel or not or what you can think or not.

 Attention! This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t learn from others, as that is one of the most beautiful and bright keys in the world. Learning is not only about techniques and structured forms to achieve something. You can also learn by hearing someone speak about their opinions, about what they love and what they hate. You can even learn a lot from the world by looking at the people on the street, in a market or on the bus. You just have to be attentive and be open about it all, not judge it and render it “useless”. Remember, even in the most horrible person, there’s a thread of good and even in the best person, there’s evil sleeping, so don’t rush in your judgments.

 Whenever you have words, whenever you feel like you must say something, please, do. Who cares what others will think? Your need to speak and be heard and learn is much greater than fear of ridicule. Besides, we can only be ridiculed if we subject ourselves to those awful feelings. When we own what we say and do, no one can really out us down using our own words as weapons.

 Never be that person who attacks for attacking, who tries to put down someone else in order for you to be on top. First, the world will never remember you were on top, only you. So, think about this: will you be able to live with yourself knowing what you had to do to be there, to be on top of the world? Guilt is a very slow poison but once it’s inside, it will act without a doubt.

 One of the most important things is to observe and listen. You will never get too far in life if you don’t do these two things. Stop and look at every side and see what happens. People always have different opinions about things and that’s not bad. Don’t try to impose your view on others, try to understand them and see why they think that way. If you think they’re wrong or not, that’s not what’s really important. The trick is to know how to learn to take all of that that you are not to build yourself better, to make yourself a greater human by learning from what is close to you, as well as from what is far.

  And please, accept criticism when it is your turn to be in that spot. Be able to hear when people say things that you don’t believe in, thing that might even make you uncomfortable. Remember the world will never revolve around you or them, so just open up your mind and listen and learn, no judgments.

 No one, no matter your religion, your ethnicity, your sexual preferences or your eye color (anything), will ever be on a position to tell you to shut up, to stop saying whatever it is that you believe in. Because after listening, after learning, after mashing up those things with your experience and your decisions, then you can say what’s on your mind in the best way possible. In a structured way, a proper message can be send to others about whatever you believe in. And you know what’s the best about it? People will listen.

 When opinions are built on solid ground and with strong conviction, people will respect them, no matter if they agree or not because, again, that’s never been the point. People focus too much on right and wring and false and true, but it is most important to acknowledge that the world is a mix of all of that. The world is built on our truths and our lies. What would the world be with our lies? Better o worse?

 Never let your morals attack someone else’s just because your conviction is too strong. Conviction works when it is used to explain and set your message straight. It’s never good when you use it to diminish others and to demolish everything other people have built close by.

 Respect is also one of the best ways to go about in life. Because how can you listen to someone, how can you expand your knowledge and your mind in general when you have no respect for others, or worse, for yourself?

 Many people have said that the first thing is to be honest with yourself and respectful of your own being. That means that you know your limits, you know exactly who you are and how you exteriorize that and also how we behave inside, in our minds. You are the only one to be able to choose the limits of your life and whichever you chose, that’s great, but always have them in mind and remember that your rights, in law, end when other person’s rights begin.

 Some are too fast to judge someone because he or she did this or that but they fail to understand that they are seeing it all from their personal points of view. They say certain things go against their morals and decide to ignore the morality of the person that originated whatever it is that is under siege. Yes, they are people that can have doubtful moralities but there are others that seek to impose theirs on every single person they meet. How can that be better, how can that be good in any form? Has imposing ever worked among humanity?

 You just have to be true to yourself and honest and respectful of yourself and others, never forgetting that you have a voice. You have a right to say and to think and to do and to stand up and shout if that’s what you want to do. And these rights you have are not consequence of the human law, but of life. You are a biological being that, for better or worse, evolved into what human being are today. Nature gave you vocal cords, the ability to stand up, the ability to walk, and run and, maybe best of all, nature gave us a brain.

 Inside that brain, there’s a universe we haven’t even begun to understand. An entire universe resides up there, inside our skull and every single person has one. It doesn’t matter if they are right or left wing extremists, if they are women or men, if they are old or young, black or white or speak English or Spanish. We all have that universe inside our skulls and we all have the capacity to decided what it is we do with it.

 Do we use it only to go forward, like in a video game, or do we fill it with information, with all of those beautiful things we like and even those things we hate? Because we are all an amalgam of those two opposites. Our own little universe can have so much and it helps us be a fully formed human being in the physical world. All that information inside that thing inside our skull, is what makes us... us. And we are not on the side of it as that universe is ours. So we can control it.

 We can learn with it, we can listen with it, we can refute and fight and struggle with it. It won’t be easy and it cannot be easy. Because life, the mere concept of life, is so vast and incredible, that just cannot be an easy thing. We will have to face our demons and we will have to meet a lot of people that we won’t like.

 But we will also feel people that, when they smile, we feel better and warm. People that make us believe there is a way out for humanity. And, also, life’s about looking around and living whatever it is that is happening around us. Enjoy your moments with your pet, reading a book, standing on the street as it rains or on a plane. Learn to feel your way around those moments, those precious moments that, after all, are only yours because when you feel something, it’s instantly personal. No one else will feel it exactly the same and you will never feel what others have felt. And that is tragic and beautiful.

 Finally, I think we can agree that this message is expected to make everyone who reads it believe they do count and that no one has the right to shut you up. Inteligence is only relative. Speak louder, make your voice be heard and never let people put a hand over your mouth. Bite if you have to bite, kiss when you want to kiss them and just fight your way to wherever you want to go. Life’s not a struggle, the struggle is to live among humanity and that’s only achieved when you take into account what I’ve just exposed. Cheers!

Unexpected

   Adam had always been, to the eyes of others, perfect. He had always been taller than others, but not too tall. He was also smart, but not exceedingly intelligent. He was a very sporty guy but also found time to enjoy and participate in so many other activities such as theatre and dancing. Besides, everyone loved his physique, his smile and his nice and gentle way of being. He was perfect, as said before but the only thing people judged him for was the choice of his career. He had envisioned, at first, to become a professional footballer. Then, as he was stopped everywhere he went, he was asked to be a model several times and he enjoyed every experience he had doing that. He even acted on a couple of TV advertisements for products aimed at young people.

 So it was a surprise, to everyone, that he ended up being a porno star. Yes, Adam had found a way to earn his life honestly by taking his clothes of and having sex on camera. As a model, he knew he looked great on camera and as a sports player he knew his body was more than enough to be able to pose naked. The sex part was the most awkward for him but once he got to know the people, it was more comfortable. He had chosen this path, solely because his family was having money issues and he wanted to help them as much as he could so the best way to do it was with porn, as they paid fast and generously. Before he realized, he became one of the favorite actors and he was doing movies in other places, travelling for conventions and getting more and more in the industry.

 Different was the life of David, who was not a perfect guy, or at least he would never be named as such by anyone he knew. He was not good at sports and he didn’t really like any of them. And the concept of going to a gym, a “cage for monkeys” as he put it, was not even in consideration. He was smart but not intelligent and he had no special talents, at least not that he had found in himself. Physically, David was rather short and not fat but not skinny either. He didn’t really like to take his clothes off at the beach but didn’t mind doing it in his house. David and Adam were very different but, somehow, they ended up in the same place.

 But not in the same capacity. David had gone to college and studied to become a film director. He loved movies and wanted to make his own, mainly science fiction and maybe some action ones. He loved everything that had to do with creation and writing and he was ready, at some point, to take over the world with his ideas. But that didn’t happen. Finding a job, specially when you’re young and have no experience. So David sent his curriculum everywhere and only one company responded. He only found it was a porno production company once he went there for an appointment with the head producer. But he saw it was money and he needed experience so he took the job.

 The two guys didn’t meet immediately or anything. Adam was too busy getting famous in his medium and, eventually, he even told his family about what he really did for a living. They were shocked at first and even prone to convince him not to keep working on porn, but then they realized it was that money that had put them through rough times, so they couldn’t really say much. With time, they learned to respect Adam’s decision and they would simply not ask him anything about his job, except maybe when it was him that brought it up, normally something from a trip or a funny story he had lived. He understood those unspoken conditions and was fine with them, as he knew his family would eventually be ok with it.

 He would travel a lot, going from city to city, country to country, visiting all conventions aimed at adult entertainment. The funny thing the first couple of times was the amount of people that recognized him. Both men and women knew who he was from ads online or his movies and that, to him, felt very strange but very good too. He would pose with many fans for pictures and would sign various deals in those places, to put his face on several products sold to adults, toys and so on, but he also signed on for more and more movies, in other countries and with actors and actresses he had never worked with. He had good experiences and bad too but he was always “the perfect guy” and that was even the name of one if his movies.

 David, on the other hand, was working very hard for not so much money. At first the pay was good but then he was transferred to another production company, one that was smaller, and his workload became much larger and his paycheck much smaller. He endured for a bit as others praised him because of his technical ability, something he didn’t even know he had in himself. He did so for several months until he was transferred back to the place where he had a better workload and was surprised to know they wanted him to do the lighting for all the top movies they were releasing. That meant, that all the movies he would do would be the ones the production company was going to push harder on their clientele and that meant also that David’s work would be known.

 The young man was happy to see that people know respected him more, even if they didn’t always knew his name. He had control over a whole section of these movies and, even if they weren’t what he wanted his life to be about, it was a good beginning, as his technical expertise would suffice to make someone important look at him. But at the beginning it was all about porn and filming in these crazy locations such as lavish mansions and fantastic forests and even a rundown train station. It was funny to him how everything got into porn in such an easy way and no one even doubted it would work.

 After returning from a filming in Japan, Adam had several hours on the plane to think about his life. He was as perfect and gorgeous as he would ever be and he had the favor of many people that surrounded him but he had started to wonder if he didn’t need something more in life, maybe something to call his own. He had the idea of starting a pizza business but the idea remained there on his mind because of the amount of responsibilities he had and that he couldn’t ignore. People were also asking why he didn’t have a girlfriend or a boyfriend but he would never answer those questions and he didn’t really know the answer. Maybe it was because, in that line of work, it was best not to combine your personal life and your private one and adult movies are something not every couple would understand fully.

 Meanwhile, David had been contacted by an independent filmmaker, who had asked him to pitch him some ideas for a mystery movie. He had seen David’s work in the adult industry and had also read some of his stories that he published online and had been surprised by his ability to tell stories. So now David had a way to slip away from porn and reroute his life towards what he really wanted. But as he developed the mystery film, he didn’t stop working with the company that had paid him for so long. After all, he had commitments to them and he didn’t wanted to just drop everything and move on to something he didn’t even know if it would work or not. So he opted for patience.

 Eventually the mystery film went into production and David decided it was time to leave the adult film industry. He announced it to his boss and they scheduled together his last film that would star none other than The Perfect guy, in other words, Adam. Curiously, it was Adam’s last film too before he decided to move along and create his pizza business with his family. The filming was very relaxed, despite being quite ambitious for a porno film. They had amazing cameras and lights and costumes. It was a true film being made and it was, for many, the first time porno films were being done in such magnitude, with such grandeur and potential. It was supposed to be a game changer.

 The truth is, Adam and David only spoke once and it wasn’t even a conversation. It was David telling Adam to move a couple of steps backwards for the lights to hit him in the best way and Adam complying. That was it. Adam was of course no interested in David, as he didn’t even acknowledged him at all. David, on his side, did look at Adam extensively as it was stupid not to but he got bored after the first half hour. He was just too “up there” and he was just himself. So after they wrapped up, everyone went home and carried on with their lives.

 Adam’s business was a success, although only in his hometown were the pizzas sold nicely and people would often ask him if he was who they thought it was and also asked for a picture. David’s mystery film was well received in festivals and he went on to win a couple of awards for it. He moved on to be a prolific director, notably adding very intimate scenes in many of his movies, all of them beautifully lit.

Ariana & Sex

   Ariana loved sex. She didn’t just enjoy it; she actually adored all that she could feel while doing it. For this, she had been called “promiscuous” and even names like “whore” and “slut”. She did adhere to the thought that she was promiscuous. She did have sex with a larger array of men than usual but she wouldn’t call herself any other names than that. It wasn’t like she did it every single day with every guy she crossed on the sidewalk. She wasn’t a female predator or anything. No, she just loved pleasure.

 People that called her names were often part of one of two groups: the jealous women and the hurt men. The first group was very large and it consisted manly of women that were envious of her because she men were drawn to her. And what made them even more jealous was the fact that Ariana wasn’t the typical kind of girl that one would think was of the promiscuous kind. She wasn’t ugly either but that was alone enough to make all those girls go crazy.

 It has to be said, because people might be thinking it, that Ariana never slept with men that had any kind of relationships to other women. Of course, there were many that try to lie to her about it but, by now, she knew men so well she could tell if they were lying. And if that failed, she had learned to read cellphones and go through wallets without the guys even noticing it. This worked to her advantage very often.

 The other group actually departed from this first screening she did. The rejects, or men who she denied sex too, were often so offended that, instead of correcting their ways, they spread the word of her being someone less than a common prostitute. A man that is hurt is, however, not very dangerous. That is because they do it out of spite, like a small vengeance towards the girl, a childish reaction, to sum it up. And Ariana was simply bigger than that.

 The girls, however, could be very destructive. Some of them had actually done pretty awful things to her but Ariana just kept on going. She knew herself and wasn’t ashamed of anything. When confronted to any of those girls, she acknowledged what she did but she also asked them if they were also envious of her being more free and nice than any of them? Because she was, Ariana was not only liked because of sex. She was actually a great girl, compassionate and a great friend.

 So the name-calling was something she didn’t care about anymore. Ariana just had sex when she felt like it and that was all. She did it only with guys that had earned her trust and, as weird as it may sound, she always asked them for a date first. There, she realized if the guy would be a nice sex buddy or if he wanted more or even if he proved to be one of those obsessed guys that roam around the world. She knew the types and rapidly discarded the ones that she didn’t like and kept close those who she liked.

 Yes, there must be romantic souls reading this going “But what about love?”. Well, Ariana didn’t believed in love so that made all of what she did much easier. She formed no bonds with any of the guys and only slept with them three times, at most. After that she would just lose contact with them on purpose and, most of them, would understand. She did feel something special for a couple of guys but this proved to be that aching people have when being alone for too long. And that feeling doesn’t lead you to love but to despair.

 Of course, she always used protection and if a guy refused to use a condom, she would simply leave or she would expel him from her apartment, whichever was the appropriate thing to do. Besides, she had gone to several classes of personal defense; she was a green belt in karate and knew how to use a knife and a gun. All of this was because her father, a former policeman, had taught her how to defend herself and never allow anyone to turn her into a victim. Of course, all of this had come in handy in the last few years, when many guys stepped beyond the boundaries of their arrangement or when someone tried to mug her.

 She smiled every time she remembered people clapping on a bus when she almost broke a guy’s arm. As the bus was full, he had decided it was time to touch many ladies in their behind and even in other parts. But then he committed the stupid act of touching Ariana and he ended up in police custody. That moment made her proud because none of the other women there had reacted appropriately, all scared and screaming and waiting for others to react. Ariana just wasn’t the type.

 This toughness also attracted men. That’s why, during sex, she could use all that she had learned in self-defense but in a more pleasuring way. No man had ever said anything bad about it and it wasn’t very hard to tell if they were enjoying themselves or not. Actually, one of the things that she liked the most was the fact of feeling the other person’s pleasure. Just feeling it and looking straight at it. It was great and it felt better when she made them feel desired and unique.

 Ariana didn’t like the jock types. Most times she went out with too good looking guys, she would get soon very bored because those guys always think everything about them is just perfect and flawless when it’s not. That safety about themselves relies only in their looks and nothing more so when any woman looks beyond that, it isn’t a pretty sad. So abs and that metrosexual sense of fashion, wasn’t her thing. She did have some lovers of the sort but only because they had something else going on for them. But they weren’t the best lovers, not even close.

 The best lovers, she thought, were the ones that are a bit more reserved but not entirely shy. It’s the kind of guys that are nice and all but also have a bit of a dark side. She enjoyed that very much. Also, the guys that maybe most girls overlooked but which she senses had something going on for them. It was something hard to explain but she was sure many others felt it too. Because it was with guys like that with whom she realized she actually enjoyed sex, far beyond the final act of penetration. It sounds so awful but that’s the word.

 Many men and women think that’s all sex is about when it actually isn’t. Just think about it: you’re alone, naked, with a person you like, hopefully in many ways. Maybe there’s not love but there’s a particular interest, a kindred spirit if you will. How not to get pleasure from such experience? And how not to imagine so many ways to actually experience that moment. All senses are more acute when experiencing pleasure so Ariana knew exactly how to use them all, how to arose her and others, how to fully enjoy everything that the body is and gives.

 And, again, it wasn’t like she was having sex all over the place, every hour of the day. No. She enjoyed I but she wasn’t a freak about it. Some of the objects in a sex shop made her blush still and she only did have any sex with guys that convinced her of it. It wasn’t about fucking random guys. That wasn’t her deal. It was about sharing an experience she liked with people that understood that the body is much more than just a bag were we carry our souls.

 She shared most of her experiences with friends, because people who were really close to her knew about who and how she was and that didn’t bother her at all. She loved to tell and also to hear. Many of her friends, both women and men, asked her for advice and she would give them tips and advices on some tricks she had learned or read about somewhere or even seeing in a movie. She wanted others to enjoy themselves too, no matter if it was with their partners in life or with a new acquaintance or whoever.

 Ariana also learned a lot from her friends because, of course, she hadn’t done it all or anything. In many aspects, she was a very classic lover and it was always nice to give things a twist from time to time. Actually, she loved to talk to her lesbian and gay friends because they seemed to be a bit more open about their sex lives and also because they dared to go a little bit beyond what most straight couples did. Some things were surprising and others were simply too clever. In any case, she always remembered in time to practice them, if the moment was right.

 But anyway, Ariana is much more than a girl that loves sex and the pleasure it gives to people. She’s also an accomplished woman, always trying to better herself in order to learn more and enjoy life responsibly because, as she often states to her friends and lovers alike, “life is only one and it is too short to be spending it worried about what others might think of you”.