The first day, he went alone. He didn’t
wanted to get anyone involved in his personal life and he wasn’t ready to share
his fears with someone else. He was even unsure about the whole thing but
finally decided to go because he had to now. At last, he was making some money
and he was about to go and live by himself. He already had a new place, his
first ever in which he would not be sharing space with his family or with other
people. A tiny apartment just for him. He had made the calculations several times
and he knew he was able to pull it off.
When he arrived to the hospital, they made him
wait in a small room where all chairs were empty. No one else came that early
to get tested. It was better like that, because he had no intention of running
into anyone he knew and, besides, it was the only time he could pay a visit to
the doctor without leaving his job. There was no way he was going to loose
money to do that. He found a way to do it anyway and, after some time waiting,
a nurse came for him.
She led him to an office were a doctor asked
him several questions. They were all very personal questions but he understood
why those questions needed to be asked. He wasn’t offended at all but he did
feel a bit embarrassed because it was the first time he really discussed these
things with someone. The silly conversations with his friends, didn’t really
count because there was always a certain amount of lying involved in that.
Next, he was left alone in the office for a
couple of minutes, time he took to take a look at the paintings in the room.
There weren’t many. Most of the frames concerned some diploma or a family
picture. But there were two actual paintings: one was the image of a field,
probably wheat. The image seemed to have no end. In one side, little in the big
space, there seem to be a couple of peasants, working in the field. Probably
cutting some of the wheat or maybe taking care of something else.
The other painting was an abstract work. It
had a few read lines and dot among a jungle of black geometrical figures. It
was very tiring to watch because it was obvious the red in the picture was
being overwhelmed by the black. He didn’t have to be a genius to know what the
picture was about. He was about to get nearer to the painting when the doctor came
back with all his equipment.
One by one, the doctor filled three small
flasks with his patient’s blood. The process didn’t really took that long
although it did seem longer for the man being drained out of blood because he
suddenly felt dizzy and very weak. The person on the phone had told him he had
to come without having anything to eat or drink. And now the doctor said he
should do the opposite.
As he stepped out of the hospital, he had to
walk very slowly. He didn’t feel good at all. Not only was his brain aching,
his arm was in pain too. After all, the man had used a needle in it three
times. He had no idea the amount of blood they needed for testing but he
thought that, at least, he could assume the results were going to be accurate
with the amount of blood they had to double check any findings.
He grabbed a taxi, which he never did, and
asked to be taken to his work. He had money to pay but that expense meant he
couldn’t so other things that week. A taxi ride was too much for him to handle
on his low income and now more than ever, with the new place coming and the
bills for that place and everything related to it. He was very happy to move
out of his parents’ home but he was also worried that he would fail as an
adult. After all, it had taken him thirty years to leave the nest.
Once he arrived at work, he was greeted by
people who told him how bad he looked. He told them he had being at the
hospital for a flu he was feeling coming, and that they had asked him to come
without anything on his stomach. So he ran up to his desk, left his bag there
and then ran to the kitchen where he poured himself some coffee and looked
around for the messenger boy, who was normally around the office at that time.
He finally found him flirting with a
secretary. Interrupting the conversation, he asked the boy to please go for him
to the nearest store and buy him some things to eat for breakfast with his
coffee. He gave the boy a bill and told him exactly what to buy. He also told
him that he could have the change, which made the boy stand up fast and run out
of the office in a huff. He returned to his office, a cubicle in corner of that
floor, and started working. Yet, he realized he couldn’t do any working.
The boy returned soon and he was able to eat
and feel a bit less weak but he didn’t do much that day at work. He felt very
dizzy and even thought he was going to vomit at one point. He ran to the
bathroom and, thankfully, no one saw him do that. He stayed in the bathroom for
several minutes, drinking water and sprinkling his face too in order too cool
down. It didn’t really work that much but he had no idea of what else to do.
That night, at home, he fell asleep fast. He
was very tired. He just left his clothes all over the place and didn’t bother
to have any dinner. When he woke up, he realized he had bled out of his nose,
his pillow stained with a big puddle of dried blood. He was surprised he hadn’t
been awake by the bleeding; yet he had been so tired that even that accident
wouldn’t be significant enough to wake him up.
He threw away the pillow and washed the
pillowcase. He threw that too after he realized the stain wouldn’t come off. He
didn’t tell anything to his parents about it and they didn’t ask why he didn’t
have a pillow in the following days. After all, he was about to move and maybe
he was throwing the things he was going to replace once he was in his own
environment. It was only a couple of
weeks later when it happened.
His mother cried a lot, as if he was going
away to the other side of the world. True, the apartment was not very close to
his family’s place, but it was in the same city all the same. He asked them to
visit once he was ready to receive visitors, in other words, once he would have
furniture and glasses and plates and all that stuff that make some place a
proper home. He moved out a Saturday and the following Sunday was a hard day to
put everything in place and buy a lot of things, including a new pillow.
Mom and dad had given him some money to start
and he was grateful for that because there was no way, with his salary, that he
was going to be able to buy everything he needed for the new place. With that
small help, he was able to make that place something he could be proud of.
However, the weekend ended very soon and he had to work as he finished putting
everything where it belonged. But by the third week there, he decided he could
have a small gathering of friends and then ask his parents to visit him.
Those two couldn’t be done at the same time
because of the size of the place, but he was thrilled to do it. He asked his
friends to bring their own bottles of alcohol. There was no way he was paying
for those. They had a very good time, joking around and even dancing in the
small space. They had to end the party when a neighbor complained about the
noise. Ironically, it was a neighbor that was always kind of drunk.
It was the following day, a Saturday and more
than a month after his blood had been taken out, that he received a letter in
his house. It was the first letter that he received there and it was kind of
awful it had to be one from the hospital. Once he saw it, he wanted to open it.
But then he remembered his family was coming for lunch. And he didn’t want that
on his mind while he ate with them. So he put it away for the day and enjoyed
his family.
He cooked that day. His mother tried to help
every so often, but he wouldn’t let her. They had the best day ever, looking at
old pictures, eating a lot and giving decoration ideas for the whole place. His
parents wanted to be involved in some way and he wasn’t rejecting the idea at
all. He needed them by his side.
The following day, alone, he opened the letter.
He had known what it said long before he ever got tested. But to know was
exactly how he thought it would feel: like a hot knife piercing through the
skin. His life had been on a path for a long time and now, his eyes had been
opened. What to do next?