The first thing I noticed was
the smell of his hair. It had notes of coconut and olive oil, but also a
sweetness that I blamed not on a particular shampoo but on his very personal
scent. As I woke up, I couldn’t see his face as his back was against my chest.
But his smell was enough for me not to move too much and just enjoy the moment.
It was then I realized no man had ever stayed all night in my house, let alone
in my bed and with me by his side. I smiled, as I closed my eyes back and tried
to enjoy the moment a little bit longer.
I used to wake up early on
Sundays, as it was the only day of the week I could actually spend in things
that I couldn’t do any other day. I would go to the gym for about three hours,
then come back home and clean the place up real good, get in the shower for a
good ten minutes and finally head out to the supermarket and buy any groceries
I would have any need for. After that, I would just go back home, put
everything in order, cook something fast and put on a movie, possibly one that
I had already seen numerous times.
But that Sunday, I wouldn’t be
able to do the same thing. He was there and I wouldn’t like to be the kind of
person to kick someone out just after spending a night together. I wondered if
I should stay there in bed with him or just go to the kitchen and make some
breakfast. Maybe he would be in for some time at the gym… But I then thought
that was a stupid idea because the point was probably to spend some time
together. Although that would maybe send the wrong message and I didn’t want
him to be confused about anything.
He then moved around, in order to
face me. He was still asleep, that was obvious. He proceeded to get closer to
me and then go back to being still right next to my chest. I caressed his head
a little bit, now that I could move my arm freely. He was really cute,
something I had already noticed but never really appreciated in its entirety.
His eyebrows were thick and very black and he had long and luxurious eyelashes.
His eye color was brown. I knew that. A beautiful brown that almost seemed
liquid caramel.
I stayed there for a while, just
caressing his hair and smelling that beautiful coconut scent. I had no idea
what to do with him, except looking at his face and feeling his body. He was a
bit shorter than me, which was odd because I had rarely met men shorter than
me, and had never had a crush on one. But there he was, and I could feel his
warmth and that was great. I hugged him, not to tight in order not to wake him
up, and then kissed him in the forehead. It was just something I felt like
doing at the moment, no idea really why I did it. It just felt right, like the
perfect thing to do.
He opened up his eyes and looked
at me. He gently got himself to the same level and then kissed me. His lips
tasted a bit like tequila, which we had drank the night before, but also like
those sweet worms that come in colors and are covered with sugar. He reminded
me of those, sweet and kind of sour too. We kissed for a long while, maybe
almost half an hour. For a moment, I felt self-conscious about my looks so
early in the day and my breath, but then just enjoyed the moment kissing a
beautiful man in my bed.
After our kissing session, we
stayed there without talking a single word. I put my chest against the bed and
he faced the ceiling, looking up as if he was appreciating the sky. We stayed
like so for a long time, right until he got out of bed because he wanted to
pee. I let him go and stayed there for a moment, realizing then that I was very
hungry. We hadn’t had anything to eat the night before; we only drank like
sailors and had some peanuts, which really wasn’t any kind of substitute for
real food.
So I stood up and walked towards
the kitchen, realizing half way that I was completely naked. I stop right in
the middle of the aisle and looked back but then I realized how silly it was to
be ashamed or something. After all, we had being having sex for a while and we
had slept together for the first time. Being embarrassed didn’t make any sense.
So I headed to my kitchen, a tiny space with a bar, which worked as my dinner
table. The place was more like a hotel room than like an actual apartment.
I took out a lemon juice from the
refrigerator and poured some in a glass. I was about to pour some for him but
then realized I had no idea if he liked lemon juice at all. For a minute, I was
all confused and had no idea what to do, as if the concept of lemon juice would
destroy anything that we had built up to that point. But then, the answer came
by itself: he had come out of the bathroom and saw me with the bottle in my
hand. He just grabbed the glass I had poured for myself and drank all of its
content in a heartbeat.
I was frozen in time for a moment
but then I just poured some more in another glass and drank that, much slower.
He said he was very thirsty and also very hungry. He didn’t want to impose but he proposed to
cook breakfast with me in order to make something faster. I agreed and we
decided on something rather easy: eggs, sausage and toast. It was a protein
filled breakfast and it would certainly satisfy our hunger. We could have
pretended to only want granola or fruit but the truth was we were very hungry
and we needed something big and full of everything to really feel good.
We started cooking right away
and breakfast was done in no time. We didn’t bothered to make it look good or
anything, we just sat down naked and ate everything on the plate like a couple
of vacuum cleaners. We didn’t even talked or looked at each other during that
time. We just ate and filled our empty stomachs with something more than
tequila. Once the plates were almost as cleaned as before we had served the
food, we did stare at each other and shared a smile that seemed to be much more
than that.
I then decided to, again, follow
what everything inside me was telling me to do. I stood up, grabbed his hand
and took him back to my bed. We got it again and just started kissing and
touching each other. However, it was not as sexual as all other times we had
that exactly that in the middle of the night. For once, doing it in the daytime
seemed bold and amazing, much different that the secrecy and forbidden pleasure
behind the nocturnal shadows. It was something much different, in a good way.
We did that for a long while and
then just stopped, hugging each other tight. Through my head passed several different
things to say or ask or do. But I couldn’t decide on any so I just stayed
still, wrapping my arms around him. I did think about us, about the nature of
our relationship. We had been “fuckbuddies” for a while now and that was okay
but now something felt different and I couldn’t really just ignore it. It had
to be addressed and talked about but I had no idea if that was the time and the
place.
It was him, again, who talked
first and proved to have more guts than me. He asked me if this meant our
relationship had changed. And I just asked what he thought of the nature of our
relationship. He looked at me, with those beautiful eyes, and said that he had
always felt something for me, from the very beginning. He confessed he had
never done many of the things he had done with me with anyone else, including
staying at their place on a Sunday. I smiled and just caressed his face gently.
We stayed there in silence for a
while and then we decided it was best to shower and do something that day. So
we got in the bathroom together and also into the water. It was nice and warm
and it felt just perfect. So I decided to tell him I really liked him to
because he was nice and beautiful and so much more.
We then kissed again, more
passionately than ever and made love under the water. It felt very different,
very good. And I could tell he felt exactly the same way. Something had changed
that day and it was something better than I had ever expected. Finally, after
so much wondering and time, I was in love.
