Ballet
was tough. It was hard on the dancers, on the choreographers and even on the
audience. But Alexei just loved it. He had begun his dancing at a very young
age and his parents had always been very supportive. They were the pillars of
his happiness because they had enabled him to become one with dancing and had
never missed one of his performances. They were very proud of their son and
wanted the best for him and that’s why they supported him with everything he
did. Alexei was grateful because, talking to other dancers, he realized things
could not have gone so smoothly for him. There was even a dancer that claimed
he had been left with an aunt at age seven for him liking ballet.
Of course, the myth says that if a man likes
ballet, both as a spectator and a dancer, then he’s a homosexual. The truth was
it was that the statement was accurate very often but not always. Alexei was
gay but he had met a lot of heterosexual men that loved dancing at that were
even really relaxed about their sex lives. Besides, women apparently loved a
guy who was bendy and had a nice body and so on. It was funny sometimes to see
Evan, the most heterosexual dancer he had ever seen, just flirting with at
least three girls at the same time. It looked ridiculous and funny and also was
something to admire about him. The man was really handsome and he was very
talented too so the girls got all in one or at least that was what he said. The
point was, ballet dancers came in all forms or shapes.
Actually, the company Alexei danced with
praised itself for its variety at the moment of choosing their performances and
also for their diversity among the dancers. There were black women and men,
Asians, Latinos and so on. And people loved that because they had a certain
“Benetton syndrome” where they loved to have all races bond and be happy
together, which was clearly not the case in real life. But funny enough, they
did feel each other as family. Many would often have lunch together and some
even shared an apartment. For example, Alexei lived with Katerina who had been
in the company three more years than him. She was very experienced and
disciplined but when she wanted she could be very liberated.
Alexei and Katerina had become very good
friends and when she was unable to fin a proper place to stay after her former
contract expired, Alexei invited her to live with him. They had fun whenever
they were not tired and both there at the same time. They would watch movies
together and eat some ice cream, which was forbidden but they did not care. It
was a fun way to live because they could also talk about work and ballet in
general and they would understand and give tips to one another, something that
they wouldn’t be able to do with people out of the medium. So their living
arrangement was advantageous for both of them and they had become more of a
family than just friends.
But that changed once the production of Swan
Lake begun. Of course, that was a classic and every single member of the
company wanted desperately to become well known after receiving the dual role
for which everyone knew the play. But that wasn’t going to happen. It had been
decided that the role would be played by two people instead of putting all the
pressure in one of them. And to make matters more interesting, they also announced
that gender would not play a part in any decision concerning any of the roles.
They would just mask them or put them in certain costumes if the character had
to be man or woman but the person playing them could be either. They announced
all of this and the dancers stopped being that family and became almost
enemies.
Nice
little lunches, smiles, parties, walks and so on stopped. It was as if war had
suddenly started and anyone could be a spy or your worst enemy. Alexei
regretted this because his main dream was not to become the most well known
male ballet dancer. He just wanted to keep learning and getting better and
better in his art. For him, ballet was one of those things that elevate the
soul and make people forget about every single bad thing that is happening to
them. It has the ability to make your soul fly away into a beautiful world that
doesn’t exist and feel things that maybe you wouldn’t be able to experience in
reality.
What Alexei regretted more was talking to
Katerina. She had been one of the main performers in the company since she had
started and didn’t want that to go away. She felt people knew her and that the
audience needed to see a proper black swan, the role for which she was
practicing. The truth was that many guys and girls wanted that role and not so
many wanted the others. Alexei practiced for the role of the prince and just
practiced a lot to get it perfectly. They had three months until the casting
took place and then the audition results became known and production went ahead
like a steam train. It was all a bit scary for Alexei but he knew he had his
family and friend at his side.
After rehearsal, he would often meet with
Gabrielle and John. Gabby was one of those girls that is really objective and
goes to the point very fast. She told Alexei that, although she didn’t know
much about ballet, she did know he was a very good dancer and that every time
he showed his talent, people rewarded him in many ways. Gabby was an architect
and knew some art. And John was a fashion designer and had always wanted to
make something for Alexei but the clothes for the plays were always done by the
designer of the theater and in normal life he wasn’t a very big guy in fashion.
Anyway, John was also very supportive and told him guys would fly of their
seats only to check his ass on those tights, which always made Alexei laugh.
Alexei rehearse every single day. He woke up
early, went to a small room he had booked for several days and just did his
routine, number by number. He noticed fast all of his mistakes and made himself
learn new things or repeat those that didn’t come naturally to him. At the end
of it, after several hours, he was tired, hungry as his feet hurt like hell.
But it was worth it, he thought. Alexei felt that performing was always the
best way to get the audience into the play and hopefully to get more people to
know about ballet, which was ultimately what, he wanted. Although his family
was supportive, people in life had been less candid about his choices and he
could even say he had been bullied. But he didn’t say it because he wasn’t a
victim but a strong person and he refused to bow to weakness.
That was his ballet persona, if you will, that
kicked in life and helped him be who he was. It was this strong attitude that
attracted, after one of his rehearsals, a guy named Javier. He was a server in
one of the restaurants where Alexei often went after being all day in a closed
space. There he could eat a nutritious meal, bound to the rules of the academy,
and also do one of the things he liked most which was just look at people
passing by on the street. But once Javier started talking to him, while serving
or while on a break, he had stopped looking at the people outside and had
started looking only at Javier.
They went out on a date just one week before
the audition. Alexei said that his daily rehearsals should be enough to pass
the audition and that he didn’t believe in overdoing anything. If he wasn’t
ready, it wasn’t going to be solved by getting his feet broken on the last
week. So after one of his routine rehearsals, he met with Javier who had a day
off and just walked to a park and just chatted there for hours. Javier wasn’t
the first guy that he met, of course, but it felt like it. He had never really
talked to any guy about what he did, they were always too busy asking how bendy
he was and praising him for his looks, something that Javier did but in a much
more elegant way. They had dinner together and at the end of the night they
kissed goodbye.
The day of the audition, Alexei gave
everything of himself. He thought to himself that this prince was going to be
the best thing he would have ever done. He gave him energy and power and the
jury saw it because their faces couldn’t hide the fact that they had loved what
Alexei had done. Once done, he had to wait outside as the announcement of who
had won what role was done only a half hour after they auditioned. Every waited
in silence, pacing around and just not even thinking about anything else.
Finally, they let them all in in the auditorium and announced the roles. Alexei
almost jumped when he got the role of the prince and the guy who got to be
white swan was ecstatic. But the black swan wasn’t won by Katerina but someone
else.
He felt bad for his friend but also felt
awesome because of his role. He called his parents and Gabby and John and they
were all very excited. They only had good wishes for him. Then, he grabbed his
coat and went straight to Javier’s place and then they celebrated with cheap
wine and sex, but it was the best celebration ever. He was happy know, more
than ever. Things may never be that good again and that’s why he was living the
moment so beautifully.
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