Your so-called "freedom"

   I don’t get it. I simply don’t get why people transform into humans with traces of swine characteristics once they move out of their homes, far away from the eyes and supervision of their family. It’s beyond me why people, many times, simply choose not to learn anything and decide to do things as they please, as if that had ever worked. Maybe I am obsessed with order and with everything being spotless and clean but I’d rather be obsessed that way than not caring about anything, not even your own hygiene. If these people don’t even know how to clean their own room, how are they taking care of their own bodies every day, if they are that is? It disgusts me a bit to even think about it because to me being clean is not a trace of character but a basic human instinct that you should know to survive.

 Apparently, it is not as I thought. I have lived with my parents for a long time and that has formed a certain image in my head of how people usually live. I have gone to other houses, of course, but always of people I’m related to or friends who also live with their parents, so it’s not really a clear picture. I have even dated people that live alone but I have to be honest and say I never pay attention to details in those moments so, maybe they were clean and maybe they were not. That certainly something to think about because if I decided to date someone permanently, I would certainly decide such a thing based on the amount of order and cleanliness he has with himself and everything he owns.

Is that an exaggeration? I don’t think so. I mean, it’s not the worst thing to prefer dating someone that is clean and knows how to behave like a human being. I have to confess I hate people that eat and live all their plates in the sink. And they pile up and the smell keeps getting worse and its like they’re waiting for someone else do clean them for them and it’s simply pathetic. I just don’t like that because I think it shows what kind of person you are and that’s certainly not the kind of person I would like to be involved with. Is it insane that I’m the opposite kind of person? The kind of person that cleans his mess just seconds after creating it and the kind of person that gets sick if they happen to find lots of hairs from strangers when cleaning the floors? Is that so bad?

 I don’t think so, of course, but people will always exist that happen to love living in a certain degree of anarchy because it makes them feels free. I have no idea why freedom is always related to a mess, to chaos, because freedom is not chaos but respect. Or that’s what I think. When you are free, you can do what you want, that’s true. But the only way to properly use freedom is if you combine it with respect and use it wisely instead of taking advantage of it as if you were a child, as if everything that has the capacity to worry you doesn’t exist any more. Freedom is not dirt. I refuse to even think about it like that.

 However, people still think that living alone, the “big liberation”, is al about doing whatever you want to do without any excuses. So waking up late, showering becomes optional, eating whatever you want whenever you want it, having no responsibilities or respect for anything beyond your own body and not even thinking about any consequence because that is just not cool. All of that is implanted in our minds when education at home has been all but good or even remotely decent. People whose parents have explained things to them have a tendency to be better socially simply because they know why doing certain things is socially unacceptable or should simply be avoided.

 But let’s say all of that is ok, all of that is perfect if you leave by yourself. You can be a pig if you want, when you leave alone. But the truth is that when most people leave their homes, they leave it to live with others. No one has the money to live really alone until they have a proper job and so on. And seeing many students depend on their parents to live away from home, the obvious answer is to live with roommates. And that’s when everything we have been talking about comes back and acquires importance. Because when you share a space with others, it’s not all about you. You share a living room, a kitchen, a bathroom and maybe other common areas. True, your room is your own but that’s it.

 So most people have filthy rooms and live like pigs when being students but they try to behave like decent human beings outside of it. Right? Well, wrong. Because many people, all of those we have been talking about, they simply think that the world and the people in it that are their same age are just as filthy as them. So the plates and pans start to pile up, and so does the laundry and everything begins to become as filthy as if they were living alone. Why? Because freedom means chaos for them and not respect. They have no respect for themselves or for others, so they do thinks as they think everyone in their situation does.

 Of course, in order to have a nice life living with roommates, people simply do not say a word. Maybe they like living like that or maybe they simply do not want to quarrel with anyone about anything. I personally do not know which one of those solutions is the worst. Not saying anything and submitting yourself to the lives of others is beyond me, it’s something I simply cannot understand. Especially when you have a stake your own health because, at the end of the day, that’s what we are talking about. It’s about our life and having a nice space to share with other people and not simply about living and going forward like a mule. If we do that, we might reach a point when there are no more roads to keep walking on.

 All of this, some might think, is an exaggeration. And maybe it is, maybe we won’t die if we clean our bodies in a filthy shower or if we use the greasy pans that who knows how many others have used in the past. Maybe those are not lethal things and we can survive a small mess. But what that would entail would be a world where everything is a mess because people have stopped caring about the fact that we always live in community, we rarely live truly alone and there is no correct way to ignore that. What if bus drivers stopped doing their routes as they are supposed to? Would that be tolerable? What if airlines only had flights whenever they wanted or felt like it? I bet many people wouldn’t be exactly happy about it or the world would be a lazy ball of filthy and disgusting people.

 To my knowledge, we haven’t reached that stage and I personally hope we never do. Because this world is ours, for every single one of us and we cannot live thinking it’s all about us because it isn’t. Each person in this world is not important and that a truth we are never told or reminded enough. Each one of us, in our own, is simply not important enough. But as a group, as communities and as a species, we are important because of the simplicity of numbers and the importance those numbers have when affecting other numbers like the amount of trees, of drinkable water, of animals in the world and so on. When we live together, we share and respect others as we consider them equals; we gain more than we lose. And that’s the best for our growth as human beings.

 It is because we learn that by helping others we are actually helping ourselves. Those dishes that are left in the kitchen for hours or days, if we clean them just after we’re finished, we are letting someone else use them and that person would likely do the same so at dinner there will be clean plates to eat properly. If you clean the bathroom after you use it, people will eventually notice and, no matter if it is because of guilt or because they have learned, they will begin to clean everything too and the chances to have an infection or something nasty get into you will be as low as they can be. Of course, that’s the optimal way of living.

 So why not living like we care about others and ourselves? Why not living alone as if we were still living with our families? The world doesn’t just get different because our personal situation changes. The world does not care about a single organism but about the group, the communities. So let’s live, let’s enjoy ourselves and let’s do that by respecting others and letting them know how much we care about them and about the world as such. You will forgive my rant, my incessant way of pushing these truths down everyone’s throat but I do believe in the importance of respect, because it brings and order to our lives than lives for far longer that any of us would ever live. Because respect is freedom.

Ariana & Sex

   Ariana loved sex. She didn’t just enjoy it; she actually adored all that she could feel while doing it. For this, she had been called “promiscuous” and even names like “whore” and “slut”. She did adhere to the thought that she was promiscuous. She did have sex with a larger array of men than usual but she wouldn’t call herself any other names than that. It wasn’t like she did it every single day with every guy she crossed on the sidewalk. She wasn’t a female predator or anything. No, she just loved pleasure.

 People that called her names were often part of one of two groups: the jealous women and the hurt men. The first group was very large and it consisted manly of women that were envious of her because she men were drawn to her. And what made them even more jealous was the fact that Ariana wasn’t the typical kind of girl that one would think was of the promiscuous kind. She wasn’t ugly either but that was alone enough to make all those girls go crazy.

 It has to be said, because people might be thinking it, that Ariana never slept with men that had any kind of relationships to other women. Of course, there were many that try to lie to her about it but, by now, she knew men so well she could tell if they were lying. And if that failed, she had learned to read cellphones and go through wallets without the guys even noticing it. This worked to her advantage very often.

 The other group actually departed from this first screening she did. The rejects, or men who she denied sex too, were often so offended that, instead of correcting their ways, they spread the word of her being someone less than a common prostitute. A man that is hurt is, however, not very dangerous. That is because they do it out of spite, like a small vengeance towards the girl, a childish reaction, to sum it up. And Ariana was simply bigger than that.

 The girls, however, could be very destructive. Some of them had actually done pretty awful things to her but Ariana just kept on going. She knew herself and wasn’t ashamed of anything. When confronted to any of those girls, she acknowledged what she did but she also asked them if they were also envious of her being more free and nice than any of them? Because she was, Ariana was not only liked because of sex. She was actually a great girl, compassionate and a great friend.

 So the name-calling was something she didn’t care about anymore. Ariana just had sex when she felt like it and that was all. She did it only with guys that had earned her trust and, as weird as it may sound, she always asked them for a date first. There, she realized if the guy would be a nice sex buddy or if he wanted more or even if he proved to be one of those obsessed guys that roam around the world. She knew the types and rapidly discarded the ones that she didn’t like and kept close those who she liked.

 Yes, there must be romantic souls reading this going “But what about love?”. Well, Ariana didn’t believed in love so that made all of what she did much easier. She formed no bonds with any of the guys and only slept with them three times, at most. After that she would just lose contact with them on purpose and, most of them, would understand. She did feel something special for a couple of guys but this proved to be that aching people have when being alone for too long. And that feeling doesn’t lead you to love but to despair.

 Of course, she always used protection and if a guy refused to use a condom, she would simply leave or she would expel him from her apartment, whichever was the appropriate thing to do. Besides, she had gone to several classes of personal defense; she was a green belt in karate and knew how to use a knife and a gun. All of this was because her father, a former policeman, had taught her how to defend herself and never allow anyone to turn her into a victim. Of course, all of this had come in handy in the last few years, when many guys stepped beyond the boundaries of their arrangement or when someone tried to mug her.

 She smiled every time she remembered people clapping on a bus when she almost broke a guy’s arm. As the bus was full, he had decided it was time to touch many ladies in their behind and even in other parts. But then he committed the stupid act of touching Ariana and he ended up in police custody. That moment made her proud because none of the other women there had reacted appropriately, all scared and screaming and waiting for others to react. Ariana just wasn’t the type.

 This toughness also attracted men. That’s why, during sex, she could use all that she had learned in self-defense but in a more pleasuring way. No man had ever said anything bad about it and it wasn’t very hard to tell if they were enjoying themselves or not. Actually, one of the things that she liked the most was the fact of feeling the other person’s pleasure. Just feeling it and looking straight at it. It was great and it felt better when she made them feel desired and unique.

 Ariana didn’t like the jock types. Most times she went out with too good looking guys, she would get soon very bored because those guys always think everything about them is just perfect and flawless when it’s not. That safety about themselves relies only in their looks and nothing more so when any woman looks beyond that, it isn’t a pretty sad. So abs and that metrosexual sense of fashion, wasn’t her thing. She did have some lovers of the sort but only because they had something else going on for them. But they weren’t the best lovers, not even close.

 The best lovers, she thought, were the ones that are a bit more reserved but not entirely shy. It’s the kind of guys that are nice and all but also have a bit of a dark side. She enjoyed that very much. Also, the guys that maybe most girls overlooked but which she senses had something going on for them. It was something hard to explain but she was sure many others felt it too. Because it was with guys like that with whom she realized she actually enjoyed sex, far beyond the final act of penetration. It sounds so awful but that’s the word.

 Many men and women think that’s all sex is about when it actually isn’t. Just think about it: you’re alone, naked, with a person you like, hopefully in many ways. Maybe there’s not love but there’s a particular interest, a kindred spirit if you will. How not to get pleasure from such experience? And how not to imagine so many ways to actually experience that moment. All senses are more acute when experiencing pleasure so Ariana knew exactly how to use them all, how to arose her and others, how to fully enjoy everything that the body is and gives.

 And, again, it wasn’t like she was having sex all over the place, every hour of the day. No. She enjoyed I but she wasn’t a freak about it. Some of the objects in a sex shop made her blush still and she only did have any sex with guys that convinced her of it. It wasn’t about fucking random guys. That wasn’t her deal. It was about sharing an experience she liked with people that understood that the body is much more than just a bag were we carry our souls.

 She shared most of her experiences with friends, because people who were really close to her knew about who and how she was and that didn’t bother her at all. She loved to tell and also to hear. Many of her friends, both women and men, asked her for advice and she would give them tips and advices on some tricks she had learned or read about somewhere or even seeing in a movie. She wanted others to enjoy themselves too, no matter if it was with their partners in life or with a new acquaintance or whoever.

 Ariana also learned a lot from her friends because, of course, she hadn’t done it all or anything. In many aspects, she was a very classic lover and it was always nice to give things a twist from time to time. Actually, she loved to talk to her lesbian and gay friends because they seemed to be a bit more open about their sex lives and also because they dared to go a little bit beyond what most straight couples did. Some things were surprising and others were simply too clever. In any case, she always remembered in time to practice them, if the moment was right.

 But anyway, Ariana is much more than a girl that loves sex and the pleasure it gives to people. She’s also an accomplished woman, always trying to better herself in order to learn more and enjoy life responsibly because, as she often states to her friends and lovers alike, “life is only one and it is too short to be spending it worried about what others might think of you”.  

Waves

   The ocean was his thing. When high school drew to a close, his parents had insisted on him finding a proper career to study in a big city, at least ten hours away from their small town. But Ari, our young enthusiast, was fascinated by the treasures of the sea and was eager to follow his grandfather’s footsteps. That man was a living legend as he had broken all records of size and number of fish he had caught. He was just the best at his craft.

 Ari visited Mr. Gons, his grandfather, pretty often. The old man lived in a small shack by the sea, where he would still fish his lunch and ate very little fruits and vegetables, despite his daughter’s insistence. He always told her that he was over eighty years old and, beyond that age, it didn’t really matter what had eaten before in your life. Mister Gons thought the ocean could give anyone a fair life and enough to nourish from.

 So it was from him from whom Ari had learned to appreciate the ocean, which had always been there for him. He loved swimming, of course, and had done a bit of surfing but he wasn’t much into it. He loved diving, though. He had attended a school were he had learned all the basics and now he did it every time he had a moment to do it. He would ask his grandfather fro his boat and dive alone, from the break of dawn to lunchtime.

 To his grandpa’s disappointment, he never brought fish to eat. He only went there to see the ocean creatures live, to the things they did normally, which was fascinating. He loved animals, sometimes bringing his dog Kop with him in the boat. When high school finished, his parents were mad at him for not having put his name down in any of the schools they suggested. They knew he loved the town but they also knew opportunities there were scarce.

 So, because of his decision not to study, he had the chance to do two things he wanted to do instead of studying law or medicine. First of all, he found a job leading tourists to a nearby reef. He would go with small groups and show them the marine life and how they tried to protect it from being destroyed. Besides work, which he always looked forward, he decided to help in the only fishery remaining in town. He started taking the guts out of the fish and putting them on ice but he hoped to get one a boat some day.

 The first months were both easy and hard, all at the same time. Driving the tourists around was incredibly relaxing, as only people who really liked the ocean would go on those kind of tours. The few times there was a nervous person, they would all help to make the experience the best of his or her life. There was definitely nothing like watching life just happen before your eyes and that’s what he loved of it.

The fishery, on the other hand, was hard work. He would do it four days a week an even then it was hell. The people handling the place had been shaped by the sea, just like their product, and they didn’t allow anything to go differently than what they had planned. They yelled a lot, especially when the work place was too filthy or the worker was too slow. Taking the guts out and scaling the fish was not as easy as it looked like and it had to be done properly or the fish would be damaged and selling it would be harder.

 Every time he got back home, after work, he would be exhausted. It didn’t matter from what job he came from, his hands would always be sore as well as his feet. Besides, Ami would gulp down food and a lot of water at diner time, as he didn’t properly eat all day. His parents were not happy for this but they didn’t say anything. He was being responsible and was winning his own money. They hoped that the workload would make him realized that he needed to study to improve himself.

 Then, halfway through the year, something no one had seen coming happened: Mr. Gons had died. It had happened in the night, while he lay on his favorite rocking chair, having fallen asleep with the sound of the waves and the feeling of sand beneath his feat. He was loved by many, especially by those families that had always lived in the town. The turnout at the funeral was outstanding; the family couldn’t have been more proud. Everyone shared stories about him and coincided that he was a one special man.

 Ari then, stopped working for a couple of days. His bosses excused him, just by looking at him: he looked beyond sad. He looked as if it was a defining moment for him so they gave him some time to think but not too much as he was needed in both the reef and the fishery. Indeed, Ari thought of his grandpa, who had thought him everything of the sea, but he also thought what he wanted from life. He knew that things were hard out there but then he realized he had already taken steps to make a live of his own.

 So the day he returned to work, confident that he was doing everything right. He couldn’t push to happen, he couldn’t force anything, but he could improve himself and just be good at what he did. He started reading a lot more about fishes and other sea creatures so that he would be available to give more complete tours on the reef. As for the fishery, he trained himself with a small knife cutting open everything at home. His mom was certainly impressed when she noticed everything in the fridge had already being chopped in various ways.

 On weekends, he would return to his grandpa’s house to drink a beer and watch the ocean. He understood then why the old man loved the place: the peace and quiet was overwhelming but appreciated. Being away from everything but that soothing sound was just perfect. But then, four months before the end of the year, he began going there with a girl he had met in one of the tours. She lived in a town close to his and would visit him when out of work. It was the first time he fell in love for real and knew she was in love with him.

 When working, he noticed he didn’t thought of it as he did it. He would think of her or of his plans, which were slowly forming in his mind. He had realized that, despite everything he thought, his parents were right. He did need to educate himself more to be better, not just to earn more money but to afford to live, as he wanted to do it. He had even thought of living with his girlfriend but that was another project, for the future.

 He told his parents of his realization that learning more was necessary to him, in order to know more about what he loved and to live a good life too. They were happy tear it but not so happy when he told them he had found an aquarium, in a medium size city about two hours away by car. It was not that they wanted him to go but that they wanted the very best for them. He explained the aquarium had a school where he could study marine biology. They actually had at least some ten more careers to choose from, which was very interesting.

 One weekend he was free from work, he took his girlfriend and his parents to the aquarium. The place was beautiful and they were all amazed that they had never really known about the place. The lady that gave them a guided visit, explained that the school had been open only for the past two years but that many students that wanted to study the careers they taught were very happy with their presence. Even the zoo area of the compound was much better than any other he had seen: the pools were very big and the machines were kept away from the animals, so not to disturbing. They didn’t have large mammals, as they believed they were better off in the ocean.

 So when the year drew to a close, Ari told his bosses all about him studying and not being able to work anymore. They were both very happy for him and wished him all the best. He had been an exemplary employee in both places, and people had learned to appreciate his work thoroughly.

 Then came Christmas. They all had a big party in his grandpa’s old house and there was no one sad or thoughtful. Everyone smiled and enjoyed the food, the company and the prospects that the future was putting on the table.