My head was spinning as I cleaned my mouth.
I had emptied my bowels on the floor, completely. I didn’t feel relieved at
all. There had been no food in my stomach, no liquid except some blood because
of the punches he had given me in the stomach. I was still holding the pipe I
had used to smash his head. However, I had used it way more than I should have
and that’s why I had to relieve myself just there. I tried not looking at his
body but it was impossible not to do so. It was too bad not to look at him.
I looked around me suddenly realizing that I
was there alone. Luckily, the power station in ruins near the ocean had been a
perfect place for him to drag me into. He had been brutal and I think that’s
why I did what I did. So I stopped thinking about it and just dragged his body
closer to the ocean. I knew bodies would often float to the surface and people
would come asking questions. So I just left him there, by the water, to let
nature do what she had to do, no matter what it was.
I washed myself in the water and then stepped
out of the ruins, leaving him there. I had to walk down the road, back to the
nearest place where I could get a ride back to the city. I had to pretend I was
happy, being some sort of crazy college guy that had way too much alcohol the
last night. I had to make jokes to the nice young lady that took me back to
town and I had to ask her to leave near a university not too far from my home.
She was nice with me and I would always remember her kindness.
When I entered my apartment, I had to use the
key on the plant next to the door, where I had always hidden a copy. When I
opened, my cat almost jumped on top of me, meowing loudly, calling my attention
and also demanding that I fed him right that instant. After all, he had been
alone for a whole day or maybe two. The truth was that I didn’t really know
what day it was, as I had lost my cellphone when the man had kidnapped me and
taken me to the ruins. I fed my cat first and then took a long shower.
I wanted to feel clean but I couldn’t really
do anything to remove the whole stench from my skin. Not only he had been a
beast to me, inflicting even more damage than what was visible, but I also
bleeding and hurting inside and in my brain. My cat stood by the door, as if he
was watching over me and, somehow, that made me cry. I cried so much right
under the water, so much so that I felt drowned for a moment. I stepped out
some time later, to watch myself in the mirror and face what I had done. I had
killed someone, in my own defense anyway, but I had done it nevertheless.
After coming out of the shower, I pulled out a
suitcase from a closet and then started putting my favorite clothes in there.
When I had the suitcase filled up, I called my parents and told them I had been
invited by a friend to visit him abroad. I asked them for money for the plane
ticket and they were kind enough to give it to me. It wasn’t that they had
money to give away but they had been putting away some money for me, in case I
wanted to study something more in life or put up a business or something.
The plane ticket was not so expensive, though.
So it was easy on their pockets. I bought it right then, with my savings, and I
would use my parents’ money for the trip that would become a permanent thing. I
also asked my mom to come for my cat, because I would not be able to travel
with him. I think I kissed that silly animal like a hundred times and hugged
him to the point he scratched in the face. He’s crazy like that but I do love
him and I knew I was going to miss him a lot. I left him there, all alone.
My plane would be leaving the country in just
a few hours. I arrived just in time, running from one checkpoint to the other
in order to make it to the boarding gate. Once inside, I felt a little bit at
ease, writing on my cellphone one last message to my mother. I told her I would
be leaving for a week or more and that I would tell her anything new when it
happened. I hung up and then started watching the sky and the clouds through
the window, as the plane began moving on the tarmac, on to the sky.
I fell asleep fast and when I woke up, the
flight attendant was smiling at me, handing me a tray of food. I took it and
ate it in a few minutes, discovering how hungry I was. I hadn’t eaten a piece
of food in a long time, so I was in need of it. It was at the moment when I
stood up to go to the bathroom, when a woman almost screamed at me, when I was
reminded that that wasn’t a trip of pleasure but one to run away from
everything. I wanted to be far from the place that reminded me of everything
that had been done to me or by me.
She had yelled because of the stain in my
pants. I ran to the lavatory and closed the door, because I had felt the liquid
blood beneath my thighs. I tried to clean it but the only thing I could achieve
was to cry again, trying not to sob too hard. I didn’t want anyone to hear my
voice; I didn’t want anyone to know what had happened. All of it was going to
haunt me forever that was more than clear to me. I wasn’t going to walk away
from all of it and things, all those little things life is made of, would haunt
me to my last day. That was more than obvious to me.
Someone then knocked at the door. I didn’t
answer. Another knock and I was getting very nervous. Then, I heard the voice
of the captain announcing that we were going to land very soon and that it was
important for everyone to get back to their seat, as the descent was going to
be bumpy.
I head the knock again and then a soft voice,
the same voice that have given me the food tray, asked me to open the door. I
did. She had a pair of man’s pants on her hand and handed them to me. She asked
me to be fast, smiling before closing the door.
That’s another face I will never forget. Hers,
the woman that drove me back home and his face. His face…
