Strange Antarctica

   Someone had killed Doctor Pong. And however it was, had not cared about cleaning afterwards. The blood coming from the good doctor’s body had already frozen, formed a pretty disturbing picture for anyone who went into the storage room. He was lying there, eyes open, against the wall opposite to the door. It was windowless room and the killer had known that. It was obvious he had known where to look for the doctor, who was probably hiding, as the storage room was fool of brooms and buckets, not really what he used in his experiments.

 The strangest part of it all was the method the killer had used: an arrow. He had pointed it right between the eyebrows and had nailed just that spot. Of course, the distance was quite short so the shot may have not been that difficult to do but it looked scary all the same. The arrow was long and had pierced the skull all the way to the back, touching the wall behind the head with the metal tip. The body still had the expression of fear the doctor had experienced in his last moments and the weather helped it to get preserved for a long time, which made the job of checking the scene, much more ominous than usual.

 The crime had occurred in what it’s known as Queen Maud Land. Although Antarctica is in the practice a free land, Norway claims this portion of the continent. The mountains look like razor blades and the snow appears to be whiter than in any other part of this land. And there, in Troll station, Mr. Georg Pong had died from an arrow to the head. The media, of course, had a feast with the whole “murder on Antartica” story. And to be frank, it did seem ridiculous than someone had been so skilled to kill someone and then escape without a lot of means to do it. And they hadn’t been able to catch him or her.

 Norway’s government took almost a week to send two detectives: Nora Fröm and Erik Stavanger. They were both specialized in strange crime scenes but this one was by far the strangest one. On the boat from South Africa, both agents discussed how they were going to approach the investigation. They had seen several pictures taken by the scientist that had found Dr. Pong and they all pointed out to a chase inside and outside the complex. They were only a few buildings in the small compound so it wasn’t going to take very long.

 At arrival, they had to join a group of scientists that greeted them on to some snowmobiles. The journey to the facility was long and cold, during which the scientists discussed the real utility of being there. The man was already dead and the attackers had to be really far by now, if not dead. The government had wanted to show action but what the two detectives could actually do about the case wasn’t much. They had agreed that their prime concern would be to know everything about how it happened more than trying to actually catch someone. That was very difficult and, anyway, if they tracked the killer’s first steps, maybe they could investigate where he or she came from.

 The station was a small group of red containers overlooking the continental ice sheet. It was very small and not many people lived there during the year. The normal number was around nine but Dr. Pong had been alone the day he died. Ellie Warren, a friend and fellow scientist, was waiting there for them. She gave them a tour of the facility and led them to the storage room where the doctor’s body was still laying. She told them that no one had spent a night since the day of the events, in order to avoid contaminating the scene. Only the group that found him had touched some things but they had been kind enough to point everything out in a report.

 When entering the storage room, both Nora and Erik trembled. The man’s was looking at them, there on the frame of the door. It was strange how an empty body could seem so alive. They then started taking pictures with a special camera and asked Ellie to tell everyone they were going to comb the scene so they needed the station to be closed to any visitors. She nodded and disappeared, talking to a walkie-talkie. The duo took pictures of every single centimeter of the body. They didn’t dare to move it, afraid that the action would break the stream of frozen blood coming out of his forehead.

 It was an eerie sight, to see such brutality but at the same time, realizing how careful the killer actually was. They found no hairs around the body, nor the killer’s weapon. Only the arrow was still inside the doctor’s skull and they decided it was best to remove it only when they had finished doing everything else. The corpse was wearing the jacket normally used for the outside, so that indicated the doctor was outside when he was attacked or that he went out during a persecution. That wasn’t clear but he must have been outside at some point that day.

 When they checked the records of the day, doctor Pong had noted several things on his log. He had apparently been working on some ice sheet tubes they had extracted earlier that month from a field not very far from the station. The detectives, of course, had no idea what it all meant, but they realized he had worked on that during the day. The last thing he noted though was far more interesting than everything else: he had written, “The heating system seems to be malfunctioning. It’s freezing inside. I have to go out and check the heater”.

 The detectives put on their jackets and asked Ellie about the heather and she joined them to it. It was located in a shed outside, about ten meters from the main entrance. There, they found that the door to the shed was open but nothing else pointed to the murder. Ellie checked the heater and told them everything was ok, which they already knew because the temperature inside the station was very pleasant. When back inside, Ellie told them she had to leave because she was needed in another station but that she would be back in a few hours. She reminded the detectives that it was summer in Antarctica, so eternal daylight was the norm. She showed them a couple of bed they could sleep if they needed to. She said goodbye and left in her snowmobile.

 The duo continued the investigations but, as expected, they weren’t going anywhere with all of it. They had found hairs in the lab and other rooms but that was probably Ellie’s or some other scientist that had been there before. She explained the doctor was alone when he was killed because all the other scientists had been called to another base as a great discovery had been made and the transmission from a Russian base could only be received in the other station. He decided to stay behind for a day and just wait for them to return and tell them the news.

 After checking every single part of the base, which was the size a of a single person’s apartment, they decided to eat something. The food looked like the ones they gave to astronauts and it taste just as they expected it to taste, so they continued their work rather fast. As Nora checked the doctor’s computer, Erik checked the storage room and the body once more.

 Some hours had pass when Nora called Erik, saying she had found something. Many of the other cases they had solved were all about love and envy and how to combine that with the thirst for revenge and so on. She builds up on that and decided to look for secret folders or hidden archives in the doctor’s computer and Norma had found just that. It was an invisible folder and had only five pictures. When the couple saw them, they couldn’t help feeling surprised at them.

 Each and every one of those pictures showed a younger Ellie Warren, with longer hair and a certain glow to her, fully naked on five different poses. It was obvious she was aware of the photographer but the pictures were certainly not new as the women in the pictures looked in her twenties, or even younger, and doctor Warren was at least fifty years old. Why would Pong have those pictures in his laptop? Had he known her before she became a scientist? Was he the photographer? Both Nora and Erik were baffled at the pictures but couldn’t make sense of them. Where them even meaningful to they investigation?

 Then, an explosion was heard outside the station. Nora and Erik ran out to see the heater shed had burst into flames and some of the pieces were burning on the snow, others already freezing. Why had that happened? And then Nora grabbed Erik’s arm. She knew exactly what had happened. It was Ellie. She had been the only one of them to actually enter the shed. It had been working fine with them but it had failed when Pong had been killed. And now it had exploded.

 Their conclusion was that Ellie had done the same thing that day. They decided to check with the nearest station, where the scientists had gone to check on the news. The radio wasn’t working very well but it was confirmed Ellie had not been there with them. According to the person in charge, she had stayed behind with Pong. So there.... It had to be her. She was the killer. But why? And where was she now. The man said she wasn’t there today either.

 Nora was looking at the screen and then noticed Erik wasn’t talking. And he actually wasn’t breathing anymore. He fell to the floor, with an arrow on his head. Nora had no time to be scared as she saw Ellie holding a crossbow.

- Couldn’t leave you here with the evidence. Sorry.

Fuerza

   El helicóptero aterrizó en la parte más alta de la muralla, que daba hacia el mar. Del aparato salió una mujer alta, blanca, vestida con una capa violeta y una corona de oro y diamantes. Los hombres que agachaban la cabeza a la vez que ella pasaba, eran diferentes a ella. Todos eran de piel negra y ojos verdes. Ninguno de ellos tenía pelo, mientras el de ella era largo y del color del sol. La mujer llegó al borde del muro y miró hacia la lejanía. Por las marcas en el arena se podía ver que el mar se había retirado algunos metros. Era posible que se estuviera retirando más porque las olas eran demasiado calmas.

-       - Que hacemos mi señora?

-       - Altura de la muralla?

-       - Cuarenta metros, señora.

-       - Estarán bien. Preparen los pisos más bajos para el impacto.

 Entonces pareció que el sonido hubiera dejado de existir porque todo quedó en absoluto silencio. La mujer miró hacia la costa y vio que el mar, en efecto, se había retirado. De hecho, casi el doble de lo que se había retirado antes. Y lejos, se veía un movimiento extraño, una sombra rara. Los hombres empezaron a correr alrededor, gritando ordenes y organizando cosas por todos lados.

 La ola se hizo visible pasados algunos segundos y barrió la playa con fuerza y gran altura. Afortunadamente cuando llegó a la muralla, no medía sino quince metros. La mujer pidió reportes de toda la muralla y de cómo había afectado la ola al reino. Se devolvió entonces al helicóptero, que despegó rápidamente y la llevó tierra adentro. Una hora después aterrizó de nuevo, esta vez en una saliente de una montaña. O al menos parecía una montaña pero en realidad era un palacio.

 La mujer entregó su capa y su corona a una asistente y entró a un gran salón circular con varias ventanas. Al lado de una de ellas, había un banco de seda y en él un hombre mirando a través del cristal. Tenía la tez negra como los hombres de la muralla pero él sí tenía pelo, corto. Sus ojos eran verdes como las algas y su traje de azul claro, combinando con el cuarto. Cuando los pasos de la mujer sonaron en el lugar, el hombre se dio vuelta y se dirigió hacia ella. La abrazó, la besó y la sostuvo en sus brazos por largo tiempo, sin decir nada. Era como si no necesitaran palabras para comunicarse. La mujer apretaba sus manos en la espalda del hombre, como tratando de jamás soltarse.

-       - Como estuvo?

 Ella exhaló y lo miró a los ojos. Una sonrisa se dibujó en su cara.

-       - Una ola no es suficiente para destruirnos.

-       - Como lo hicieron?

-       - Una de sus naves con carga llena. Malditos.

 La mujer tomó al hombre de la mano y lo llevó de vuelta al banco de seda, donde ambos se sentaron sin decir nada. Ella apretaba la mano del hombre y él la de ella. Se miraban y luego miraban por la ventana, por la que se veía un paisaje lleno de piedras y riscos y montes afilados. El palacio estaba alto pero a la vez oculto entre las rocas.

 De pronto, la joven ayudante que se había llevado la corona y la capa entró a la habitación y le hizo una venía a los dos. La joven era rubia y de ojos negros, con la figura de la verdadera belleza. Les contó a los dos que equipos del reino habían llegado al punto donde había caído la nave enemiga y la estaban investigando a detalle, para saber como habían hecho para utilizar una nave de carga común y corriente como un arma. Les dijo también que la muralla se había inundado en los primeros pisos pero no había muertos ni heridos. Después de otra venia, la mujer se retiró.

-       - Que vas a hacer?

-       - Nada.

 Esta vez el hombre se le quedó mirando, a pesar de que ella parecía fascinada con el atardecer que estaba ocurriendo afuera. Él exhaló y apretó la mano de la mujer. Luego la soltó y se puse de pie para irse. Ella siguió mirando por la ventana y se quedó sola, con sus pensamientos. Él quería que ella se vengara, que fuera por ellos y los castigara por dudar de ella. Pero la reina sabía que no podía ceder ante lo que los demás querían que hiciera. Había sido difícil que la aceptaran en el reino como la nueva gobernante y todavía existía quien dudaba de ella.

 La reina era hija bastarda del antiguo rey. Pero ella había sido su única hija. Con la reina anterior no tuvo ningún hijo porque ella no podía tener hijos. Él la amaba y por eso nunca le importó la falta de hijos. Adoptaron algunos de todos las regiones del reino, para compensar este anhelo natural. Fueron dos niños y una niña que hoy en día odiaban a la reina. La odiaban porque ella era el resultado de una noche de tragos de su madre, que había tenido relaciones con la cocinera del palacio. Esa era ella, la hija de una cocinera que hoy ya no estaba, habiendo muerto por una enfermedad hacía muchos años.

 La ley impedía que los hijos adoptados fuesen gobernantes pero no decía nada de los hijos bastardos. Siguió entonces una guerra civil: un grupo apoyaba a los adoptados y otro a la hija bastarda. Hubo muerte por un año entero antes de que ella misma decidiera detener los combates y sacrificar su posibilidad de reinar. Esta acción ganó el corazón de los ciudadanos y fueron ellos que forzaron al gobierno para darle el poder a la hija nunca reconocida. Los hijos adoptados dejaron el reino indignados y ella sabía, mirando por la ventana, que ellos tenían algo que ver con la ola asesina.

-       - Mamá?

 Un jovencito había entrado a la habitación. Tenía la tez morena y se lanzó hacia la reina apenas ella lo miró. Ambos se abrazaron con fuerza, sonriendo siempre. La mujer le daba besos al niño a la vez que él hacía caras, tratando de decirle algo a la mujer. Ella dejó que se apartara para verlo bien, mientras él le contaba con detalles un sueño que había tenido, en el que ella montaba un gran caballo blanco y su padre uno de los leones del desierto, aquellos de melena negra. Ella lo miraba fascinada, mientras el niño corría por todos lados recreando el sueño.

 El momento entre madre e hijo fue interrumpido por la asistente que dijo que tenía malas noticias. La nave que se había estrellado estaba cargada con explosivos y había matado a unas veinte personas que estaban investigando el evento. A pesar de ser un niño, el jovencito se quedó quieto y miró a su madre, cuyo rostro se volvió sombrío. Parecía que la rabia iba a brotar por su boca en cualquier momento pero la mujer solo agachó la cabeza y tomó una de las manos del niño.

-       Contacta al general. Dile que mande toda la ayuda necesaria. Hay que preparar funerales de Estado para todos esos hombres y mujeres. Murieron sin razón, tenemos que honrarlos.

 La asistente asintió y se retiró. La reina salió del cuarto, con el niño de la mano y caminaron juntos por un hermoso pasillo, lleno de frisos y mosaicos. El corredor terminaba en una puerta ricamente adornada. La mujer la abrió, cruzaron otro salón circular, este con varias puertas. Cruzaron otra más y llegaron a un cuarto lleno de personas alrededor de pantallas y diferentes tipos de máquinas.

 Había hombres y mujeres con uniformes de color rojo sangre, yendo y viniendo, confirmando órdenes y datos varios viniendo de todos los rincones del reino y de más lejos. Cuando vieron a la reina, agacharon la cabeza. Ella se acercó con su hijo a una de las pantallas, donde se veían los pedazos de nave por toda la playa.

-       - Confirmados los veinte muertos?

-       - Rescatamos algunos heridos. Parece que solo son doce los muertos.

-       - Excelente.

 Entonces se agachó y miró al niño con una sonrisa. Le pidió que fuera a su habitación y se quedara allí hasta que ella fuese para leerle su historia de todas las noches. Al salir, se cruzó el niño con su padre, quien lo alzó y lo besó, ante la mirada amable de todos en la habitación. Una vez el niño salió, la mujer se acercó a su marido y lo tomó de la mano de nuevo. Con lentitud, lo llevó hasta una mesa que era pantalla al mismo tiempo, mostrando los limites del reino. La muralla los protegía en sitios estratégicos pero no en todos lados. En el centro del mapa estaba el sello real, que indicaba el palacio.

-       - Estás segura?

-       - No. Pero no sé que más hacer.

 Una mujer vestida de rojo se acercó a la mesa y empezó a oprimir botones. La imagen hizo un acercamiento y se enfocó en un punto verde cerca al limite del reino.

-       - Mi señora, podemos seguir?

 Ella inhaló. Tenía frente a ella la decisión de destruir a sus hermanos adoptivos o no. Ellos habían tratado de matarla, la odiaban y querían verla muerta. Pero ella no los odiaba. Lo que detestaba era no entender porque todo había tenido que ser como era. Nadie nunca había pensado en como se sentía ella siento la hija ilegitima del rey, ni como dolió ver a sus amigos morir por defenderla. Pero había que ser fuerte y marcar su poder con acciones. Exhaló y miró a los ojos de su marido, pidiéndole consejo, sin decir palabra.

A story of nudes

   I wanted to make myself visible. I had to do it in order not to feel imprisoned in the shadows, away from all that happened in the world. I needed to feel alive and wanted. So I started taking pictures using the few notions I knew of photography. At first, they were only pictures I had taken for assignments. They could be qualified as casual but also as artistic. I didn’t wanted them to be just pictures but also proof of what my life was like. So everywhere I went, I carried the camera. My father had bought me one and the moment I got it in my hands I started shooting. Every interesting plant, every nice sunset, every park or animal. I would take pictures of everyone of those and more.

 But at one moment I needed to do something else, something others were not doing and by others I meant the people around me. And the answer was obvious: nude pictures. No one was daring to do them. Was it maybe because I was twenty years old? Or was it that people are generally afraid of their own body? Who knows? But what I did know was that I needed a way out, a way to feel like myself, even if I had to do it all alone. I had tried dying my hair blue, changing my clothes, just being different from who I had been the past years, the last ones of school and first ones of college. I needed something to be only mine.

 So the first picture I took naked was of my legs. I wasn’t actually naked but it was the beginning of that time for me. I tried different tricks with lights and editing in various ways. I also took some shirtless pictures, never revealing my face. After all, everything that goes into the Internet may never be truly erased. People were going to see me and, even as much as I wanted to be out there, I wasn’t ready to show my face.

 With those first pictures, friends and other acquaintances praised my attempts for a more personal photography. They liked the way I edited my pictures and how I posed in them. After all, they were very personal and did tell tales about me to people. I was very happy to see that they were liked. Not universally but, after all, I was just learning. I didn’t wanted to be a photographer and did not pretended to be one. But I was learning so much about it that I immediately felt fascinated for an art that I had never truly reflected about.

 Back then; I liked it because it was something I could do alone. I love cinema but that needs a team to become a reality. I’ve never cared about the making of music so that wasn’t really an option and my hands are not made for the subtle and gentle work of a painter or a sculptor. No, it had to be photography. How the camera felt, the various shots to get the one I loved, the experiments I did based on what I was learning. It was all so attractive to me and, to some extent, it still is.

 I took the following step almost a year after opening a public Internet account to show my pictures. I had put on flowers, landscapes, sites, and my headless body. So the next step was showing more. I decided to show my face but not my penis. I didn’t want it to be the center of attention, not that it is anything special. But human nature is always governed by the animal feelings and it is obvious that people looking at a naked picture will always stare first at the genitals and then see the whole picture. We all do it and there’s nothing wrong with it but I wanted that distraction out so I took all pictures covering it or cropping the picture just right or even just turning around and showing my butt instead.

 Comments started pouring on the website. They were all very kind and many even racy, which I appreciated too. Friends and others were not as enthusiastic, rather focusing on the fact that I was naked and not so much on the pictures as such. They asked me if I wasn’t afraid of showing my face naked in public but I answered that there was nothing people could do with those pictures to me. They couldn’t threaten me because I had taken the first step. I’m not ashamed of my decision and I stood by it. And if someone sent one of them to my parents, as improbable as that would be, I would acknowledge my art and leave it at that.

 I have to clarify myself, though. The pictures were also an experiment for something else. They were not just about experimenting photography and having an artistic outlet that I had lacked for a long time. It was also, nudity to be more specific, a way to make people see me and judge me. I wanted to put myself out there and be bombarded with comments, good or bad. For a long time, a very long time, I had dealt with insecurity issues and I felt nudity would help me with those problems. And it did.

 With those pictures, and seeing so many more taken by a variety of men, I realized I wasn’t hideous or awful. I understood that the wide range of body types is what makes the human body beautiful. Of course, being gay, there is a beauty standard as there is one for straight men too. But homosexuality is more focused on how you look and any gay man who says they had never had an issue with that is lying. We judge each other harder. Maybe it’s because of the stereotypes that had been imposed for years but there is a certain idea of how a homosexual man has to look like and just be. And that was why I needed those pictures. I needed to prove myself and others that I could be who I am and people would like that.

 Yes, I did to receive approval. And that was the rotten seed that I never really paid attention to. It slowly grew for all those years, more than six to be exact, in silence. Meanwhile, I was successful with my experiment. People liked the way I got naked. At one point, I decided to post one picture fully naked and it was clearly one of the more successful ones in the account. After that, I just kept experimenting: shadows, lights, colors, places… It was all about the body. I still uploaded some other types of pictures that I liked but people seemed to be not very interested in them. Back then, I started to notice mostly men were adding me as their friend and the number grew a lot during the years. I have no idea how many contacts I had in there but I know they were thousands. Yes, thousands.

 Then, people got bold and started to ask for types of pictures, even more revealing ones. I said no to all of that. I was going to make a porno picture just because people wanted it. It wasn’t what I was looking for, to arouse anyone. My goal of helping myself with the pictures was, I believed, successful. Oddly enough, it was a time I had no one to share my new securities with. That was when I realized there was something wrong. Why were they thousands of man complimenting me online but in real life not even one dared to say anything to me? I tried giving the first step and that was always a failure. I cannot remember how many failed dates I’ve had. All of the crumbling fast after just a few words have been exchanged.

 Then came the people that denounced my pictures on the site where I had them. Each time I uploaded a picture, I left it without any safety advice on in order for more people to see it. After all, it was a picture of the human body, not from a corpse, or sexual or a violent act. But no. People started pouring saying my pictures were not adequate for the website. A website that had thousands of users pouring in only to check out naked men and women. If there’s something that I hate is hypocrisy and that was just the best example of it I had ever seen.

 I finished college and the rotten seed then activated, still silently. My old worries came back. Every picture I took was mediocre next to the other older ones but I decided to ignore that and do something else with my life. I traveled, I did other stuff and I even did some new things with my pictures and people liked them but less than before. And the opponents were still there, trying to push me off the edge.

 When I came back home one day, I realized they had succeeded. My account had been erased. The details are not important but I then suffered a very great depression. The rotten seed had finally won, all because I had made the wrong decision years ago. I kept failing in life, the future looked pitch black and now, what had been my only creative outlet for years, had been erased permanently. I was angry and outraged but also sad and vulnerable. A failed attempt to have a relationship pushed me to an abyss, from which I barely came out.

 Eventually I found out photography had lost most of its appeal to me. I still like to look at them and appreciate them but I haven’t held my camera in some time. Selfies, sure. Artistic photos, not really. I also found myself another outlet, one you are witnessing right now. And, to be honest, I hope I never have to leave this one, as it keeps me going, as photography never did. It was a stage in my life but that is the past. The present is this and the future… Well, let’s hope it’s there.