The frozen forest

   Blood slowly dripped from the top of the tallest tree surrounding the clearing. It glistened again the moonlight and didn’t stop until it hit the frozen forest soil. Something had happened up there, something that no creature in the forest was willing to explain or understand. The blood on the tree froze and remained there forever, working as reminder to every single creature to be very careful on this part of the world.

 A long time after that, a woman dedicated to washing the clothes of others got lost in the forest. She had been washing sheets and dirty underwear in the cold water of the river but she had lost her way because of the snow, that had begun to fall very slowly, changing every single aspect of the forest in the process.

 Unknown to the woman, she was being watched by various creatures but not because they wanted her out of because they feared her. They just wanted her to leave forever and never return. They knew that the frozen trail of blood on the tallest tree was from human origin and that, in simple words, meant that humans were better off very far from the forest.

 However, the laundry lady had gotten lost. She was not a young woman, rather having a lot of experience in what she did, as she had been doing it for the past thirty years, at least. It had been her mother who taught her everything “ a woman should know”. And she learned everything because women could learn so little that it was better for her to get every piece of information available, instead of suffering for what wasn’t true.

 She had dreamed, long ago, to marry a handsome man and have beautiful children and leave the rest of her days as the best housewife in town. Her little corner of the world was so peaceful and small, that she never thought thinking what she thought was asking too much. After all, every other girl had exactly the same luck, with various results but at least they got to have a proper family.

 Her name was Irene, after her mother, and no one had ever asked her to marry. She knew she wasn’t the prettiest girl in town but she was one of few girls available. And, as uncommon as it was, there were more single men in town than single women. And even so, she remained a spinster for the rest of her life. As old as she was now, she knew she wasn’t going to have any chance of having the life she had always wanted. Instead, she found herself a nice little cottage and people came over to leave their dirty laundry for her to wash. It was a simple and sad life.

 When she got lost, she didn’t really got scared. Her life was so full of the same always, that a little bit of excitement wasn’t unwelcomed. Irene had a big bag on her back, carrying everything she had been washing and realized she needed to head back fast or frost will begin to form on the wet parts of the sheets and defrosting them would be even harder inside of her house. She used her chimney fire to dry the clothes and other items but if frost was involved, it would take much longer and the payment would also take longer to reach her.

 She walked and walked, first with no worry but as the sun began to fold, she accelerated her steps. Suddenly, Irene arrived to the clearing were the tall tree stood but because of the snow, she didn’t notice the frozen blood or the large amount of birds watching her from above. She stopped walking and started yelling “Hello!” to no avail. The truth was, and she had no way of knowing it, that she had walked farther and farther away from town instead of getting closer to it.

 No one ever reached the clearing, not even in the summer. It was a private place the forest revealed only in special occasions and, apparently, Irene was special enough to get there. But that, somehow, wasn’t a good thing. Snow was pilling up and the forest was slowly getting darker. The woman, now desperate, turned around and ran into the forest but it was too late. The trees had suddenly decided to be closer that they had been before, so walking between them was now very difficult. The lack of light made it hard for Irene to see that she was slowly making a circle.

 After a while, she got back into the clearing and it was then when she dropped her bag, fell to her knees and started to cry and to beg for help. She yelled and cried very loudly in order to be heard and she actually managed to do that but that person, a hunter returning home, confused her voice with the sounds in the wind. To put it simply, he thought he had been too long out in the woods and that he needed food and the warmth of his home and family.

 Irene stopped yelling, she also stopped punching the frozen soil, which made her hands hurt because it was like punching steel. She cried but it hurt too badly so she stopped fast. She looked around and realized that, despite being night, there was some kind of light illuminating the clearing. She looked everywhere for the source and realized someone was coming. She stood up fast, thinking help was on the way.

 But it wasn’t a helping hand. It was a figure wearing a cloak, revealing no human attributes except the shape. It didn’t seem to be walking like normal people did, instead floating around, as it happened to be some sort of ghost. Irene’s hope vanished and tried to get back to the forest but everything behind her was black, she couldn’t see trees or anything else. There appeared to be a very black wall there and she just couldn’t run anywhere. Anyway, her feet were unresponsive and once she tried to walk, she fell to the ground.

 The figure then stood in front of her and appeared to wait there. It was unclear what it was waiting for, if it needed Irene to speak first or if it was there for other matters and was completely ignoring the fact that Irene was there.

 Then, the creature started to transform. It grew a bit larger and Irene could see feet and hand emerge from the bright cloak that had been floating in front of her before. As the feet touched the ground, the hands pulled back the cloak’s hood and revealed the head of a woman. In appearance, it did look like a woman but she wasn’t like Irene. The laundry lady was older, had pale skin and blue eyes. She was taller than many women and her nose was bigger too.

 The figure, or rather, the woman beneath the cloak, was smaller even as it had grown larger, had bronze skin and big hazelnut eyes. Her skin seemed to be really soft and her ears and nose were very delicate. She looked patiently at Irene, and then spoke.

      - You are alone. – She said.

Irene started crying again, but this time she didn’t care about how much it hurt to do that in a frozen forest. Slowly, she nodded to accept the spirit’s statement. She then noticed the women that had appeared before her had some sort of drawing on her faces, very subtle and beautiful.

      - You don’t have to.

And she raised one hand and offered it to Irene. The villager had no idea what to do. Something, a voice in her head, told her to hold that hand. But her inner voice, the one that was actually hers, was afraid of what might happen. She was afraid that this apparition had something to do with death and, she had known this for a while, she wasn’t ready to die.

      - I’m not ready to die.

It escaped her lips as she had thought about it. Surprisingly, the spirit kept its hand stretched towards Irene and, suddenly, she smiled. And then Irene’s hand just decided, almost by itself, to grab the hand of the spirit. Then it was all engulfed in white light and the older woman thought her moment had finally come.

 But that wasn’t the case. Irene was again at the edge of the river and it was still day. The sheets were on the bag and she had to get going. She could see the smoke of a house and knew that was the way towards the town. As she walked to her home, she wondered about the spirit and asked herself if she had dreamt the whole thing. It was only when she got home and found a person knocking on her door, that she realized she hadn’t dreamt anything.

 The girl with hazelnut eyes, bronze skin and beautiful nose, was knocking on her door.

Monstruo / Demonio

   Hay demonios en mis sueños. Hay identidades dobles y personajes que dejan la piel para convertirse en otros. Seres duales que me horrorizan, y me hacen gritar, pero de mi garganta no sale nada sino solo aire. En mis sueños hay cuartos oscuros y lugares a los que ni siquiera yo puedo entrar. Parece que incluso mi subconsciente prefiere alejarme de ciertas cosas que podrían causarme tal shock, que no sería capaz de recuperarme nunca.

 Como entró todo eso en mi mente? O es que acaso lo he tenido siempre, lo he heredado o simplemente está en mi código genético? La naturaleza pudo implantarme esas sombras, esos lugares remotos en mi cerebro. Pero porqué? Para qué? No logro entender nada y eso me pone mal, me hace dar vueltas en la cama, me hace dudar y me hace hacer cosas que normalmente nunca haría.

 A veces el dolor parece ser la única vía de escape pero soy muy cobarde para llegar a esos extremos y eso que mi subconsciente hace un trabajo espectacular dándome la dosis nocturna diaria de dolor y confusión. Que significa todo esto, si es que significa algo? Yo a Freud no le creo ni el apellido pero si los seres humanos somos capaces de soñar, por algo será… no?

 A mi me gustaría soñar con cosas diferentes, con mundo más calmados y más felices. Me gustaría soñar que por fin logro tomar de la mano a esa persona que todavía no conozco, que todavía no sé como se llama ni que apariencia tiene. Eso sí, ahí mi subconsciente me hace un favor, porque es mejor para mi no inventarme ese rostro ni sus complejidades. Solo sentir su mano junto a la mía, entrelazadas por siempre. Solo eso quisiera soñar y no en demonios.

 Habrá sido una película que vi recientemente o tal vez algo que comí? No lo sé pero si llego a saber la respuesta alguna vez, empezaré a hacer exactamente lo contrario. Es horrible como la única imagen que tengo es la de ese ser doble separándose, dejando de lado su carne, su ser físico para pasar a ser otro. No sé porqué mi cuerpo no me despertó. Tal vez la idea era que viera más para comprender algo que de todas manera no he entendido. De pronto hay algún código, algún misterio que debo resolver para entenderme mejor.

 Y eso me asusta más que nada. Me da miedo ver que más puede haber allí, oculto entre los pliegues neuronales, entre todos los recuerdos que guardo con aprecio. Odio, detesto imaginar que en un mar de memorias perfectas y alegres, descansen también las oscuridades más profundas de mi ser, las más impactantes y también las más indeseables. Creo que si las descubro, no podré más conmigo mismo.

 Me he dado asco antes pero esto podría ponerse peor. Si fumara, estaría fumando como loco y si me drogara, me metería algo que contrarrestara el efecto nocivo de estos sueños desquiciados. Aunque me cuidaría porque dicen que el alcohol y las drogas pueden hacer que todo se vea aún peor, aún más grande y amenazador y eso, seguramente, sería simplemente demasiado para mi.

 Lo mejor, creo yo, es salir a dar un paseo entre el viento frío, forzar por medios físicos la desaparición del recuerdo, a menos de forma consciente. Mientras camino y escucho mis pasos, porque no se oye ni se ve nadie más, voy pensando cuidadosamente en todas esas personas que me han hecho feliz y en esos momentos en los que he sonreído con sinceridad y he disfrutado de la vida sin limites de ninguna clase.

 Recuero varios momentos familiares como viajes y comidas y simples tarde con mi madre. Recuerdo las mascotas y el sabor de la comida así como las risas y los timbres de voz de cada uno. Me siento mejor pero al mismo me siento morir pues recordarlos así me hace imaginar que no estoy muy lejos de los últimos momentos de mi vida. Al fin y al cabo, no es algo imposible. Pero sería muy triste un final así, en una calle fría y gris en un país indiferente.

 Sigo caminando y recuerdo el placer. Desde el placer de ver una película favorita o de leer una historia que me llena el alma hasta el placer básico de la experiencia sexual. Los recuerdos son fáciles de reunir y los voy analizando uno a uno. Recuerdo entonces esos personajes, tan bien construidos que parecen reales, tan cercanos que parecen amigos perdidos. El olor de los libros viejos y el calor que emana de una película buena cuando la estas viendo.

 Y desde allí siento el recuerdo del sexo, del olor y del sabor y de todos los demás sentidos cuando están tan alerta de todo. Recuerdo el primer beso y los subsiguientes. Recuerdo los errores y también los aciertos y los momentos en que parecí ser otra persona al estar poseído por Eros y sus demás camaradas. Recuerdo habitaciones, la distribución de los objetos y el nivel de la luz. Es increíble como al esforzarme, puedo recordar tantas cosas, incluso la pasión de alguien que ya no tengo al lado.

 Es entonces que abro lo ojos y me doy cuenta que caminé más de la cuenta y que ahora ya no sé donde estoy. Es un barrio que se ve como todos pero simplemente no lo reconozco. Están los mismos edificios, copias de copias, y las tiendas  y todo lo demás pero no hay nadie y entonces me doy cuenta. Caigo al suelo y grito con todas las fuerza, golpeando el pavimento.

 Me despierto de golpe y maldigo a todos los dioses, no me importa que religión representen o que es o que se supone que cuidan. Los maldigo a todos y los condeno a revolcarse en sus estúpidas ideas y concepciones del mundo. Es por culpa de ellos que tengo esos laberintos en mi mente, es por su culpa que mi felicidad no puede estar completa pues mis mejores recuerdos ya están manchados por esa sombra que lo cubre todo y que es esa ciudad solitaria y ese hombre que se parte en dos.

 No… Lo veo de nuevo y mi estomago se remueve. Esta vez estoy muy despierto, porque siento la cabeza darme vuelta y las tripas queriéndose salir por donde puedan. Me echó en la cama y trato de respirar lentamente. Trato de no pensar en nada pero no lo logro. Ahora sí que necesito esa mano, ahora si que lo necesito a él pero a veces parece que jamás estará aquí cuando lo necesite.

 Así que arrugo las sabanas cogiéndolas con fuerza y respirando lentamente, con los ojos cerrados. No quiero dormir más pero si abro los ojos sentiré que arden y veré todo de nuevo como si estuviese de nuevo en el sueño y no quiero hacerlo. Sin embargo, y después de varios minutos de lucha, mi cuerpo se rinde, porque no es fuerte y no tiene como pelear.

 Sin embargo, y para mi sorpresa, duermo algunas horas y cuando me despierto me doy cuenta que no he tenido un solo sueño, que no he sudado luchando contra seres que no están, que no me duele la garganta de gritar sin sonido alguno. Me doy cuenta que estoy bien, aunque tengo algo de frío. Me pongo una chaqueta y esta vez sí salgo al mundo real y lo primero que hago, antes que nada, es ir a comer.

 El sabor es mucho más rico ahora, es como si todo lo estuviera probando por primera vez y eso que no es alta cocina sino una simple hamburguesa con papas fritas y refresco. Pero todo sabe como si fuera lo mejor del mundo y es una buena comida porque no solo me llena el estomago, que ha dejado de gruñir, sino que también me llena el alma y me deja contento, sonriendo incluso.

 Algunas personas me miran como si estuviese loco y la verdad es que no me importa. Me importa un bledo lo que piensen los que me miran. Solo yo sé que ahora me siento capaz de todo, me siento capaz de dejar la oscuridad atrás y de seguir adelante con mi vida, que podrá no ser emocionante o entretenida, ni siquiera estable, pero eso no importa. Es mía y es lo que tengo y me gusta tenerlo. Después de comer marcho de vuelta a casa y me prometo a mi mismo que no puedo dejar que lo que no conozco me gane siempre.

 Pero entonces, cuando lo analizo todo, me doy cuenta que todo eso todavía está allí y que en algún momento volverá. Porque, al fin y al cabo, hace parte de mi. No tengo un monstruo adentro sino que soy ese monstruo, soy ese demonio que e despierta cada mucho tiempo para recordarme que está ahí y que no planea irse a ninguna parte.

Mirrored

   The ship gently settled on the ground. It made no noise, it lifted no dust. Everything was very quiet and, for a place were rocks floated all around you, there wasn’t a single sense of danger. The crew of the ship, consisting of only three people, were checking the final numbers in order to decided if it was really safe to go outside and take a look.

 The planet was a gas giant and it had been discovered many years ago by traders trying to built faster routes into the worlds of the Core. Actually, according to the charts and many calculations, the planet was located exactly between the center and the edge of the galaxy. It was also a rare system, as the sun was potent and such have been the center of a very active neighborhood but the truth was that no creatures, no matter the type, lived in any of the planets.

 However, and exactly four months ago, a signal had been detected in the gas giant. First, it was thought to be a mistake but the signal persisted. Then it went mute. The traders and even the smugglers told the authorities that they hadn’t lost any ships and no other ships had been lost in the area. So who had activated a very strong signal on a deserted planet?

 The three-person team had been sent to collect data about the planet and check if there was a reason to believe anyone could be stranded on the planet. Upon arrival to its orbit, the team named the planet as Cotton World. It was not an official name of course. It was just a way to identify it and feel more comfortable while talking about it. The name, of course, came from its appearance: the world was covered by huge pink clouds that made the world look like a massive cotton candy. As they descended through the clouds, they realized that the name had been very accurate as the clouds were not only pink in color but were also kind of solid.

 The first to go out was the biologist on the team. Her name was Yarra and she came from a very different world, a world she deemed incredibly boring and that’s why she decided to have many adventures by joining the forces of authority that ruled the galaxy, Besides, she had always been interested in life and in all the shapes and sizes it took all over the galaxy. She had been working for the State for four years and she loved it: she traveled a lot, got to meet lots of people and made good money out of it.

 Yarra was half human but even her other half couldn’t breath on this planet, so she had to use a special suit to be able to walk around without fear. She only took a couple of steps before returning to the ship and telling the other two crew members that the rock seemed stable and that it was urgent that they began the search for the beacon that had been detected. After all, that was the reason they were there.

 The next one to step out was a big, yellowish creature. He wasn’t human at all but had many features that one could identify as human. The only things that really differentiate him were a horn in the center of his forehead, his large tusks, his four arms and tall stature. His name was Gorg and he always seemed menacing at first but he was the most tender and calm being ever to be seen by anyone. He was happy by just helping and had joined the force almost seven years ago. Granted, he was very strong and could fight any kind of danger physically, but he was first and foremost a physicist.

 Gorg was simply in awe of the Cotton World. In all his travels he had never encountered something quite like this place. The fact that sound didn’t seem to function exactly as it did in the rest of the planets, was something he wanted to understand urgently. But Yarra was right and their priority was to explain the origin of a beacon signal that had been detected in far way worlds. In order to do their examinations, Gorg put on his suit and carried a large antenna outside, as well as a special console and computer which they used to detect any electric emissions. No matter the type of beacon, it would leave an imprint in the atmosphere if it existed.

 The third crew member was the captain. He was full human and his name was Ionek. His skin had been burned by many suns so he had patches of red and brown all over. His eyes were yellowish, although they could change color depending on his mood. He was a tall strong man and he had been known many years ago as a military hero all over the galaxy. He had served in the army for many years before having to step out of it due to a scandal that he had to pay for. The only option they gave him was to have his own ship and serve the State with it.

 Ionek did what he had to do but he was always clear that exploration and discovery weren’t his first choices in a world where so many wars and battles were being fought. He wanted carnage and destruction but had to settle to be the pilot of some scientist trying to discover why fire burns. So he just sat down in his captain chair and tried to have a nap as the other two investigated outside.

 After several hours, Gorg and Yarra detected something very weak but still trying to work. It was located directly below them, maybe four or five kilometers. They copied the information on an electronic pad and then packed everything in order to investigate closer. Ionek wasn’t very happy that his nap had been cut short but at least he didn’t have to move too far. The trip downwards was an easy one but it wasn’t deprived of a few scares, mainly because the clouds and the environment got darker as the ship sank into the planet.

 Finally, they detected a rock they could land on and Ionek settled on it, but this time landing wasn’t as soft as it had been the last time. When they came out of the ship to check, they realized one of the landing “legs” had sunk into the rock and was now trapped in there. Captain Ionek wasn’t pleased at all and asked Yarra and Gord to be fast in order to mend the damage to his ship immediately. They then took the electronic pad and walked around the rock, trying to detect the signal again. But what they saw wasn’t a signal or a beacon but something far stranger.

 Below, another kilometer maybe, there was another ship on another rock. But that wasn’t the strange part: the strange part was that the ship looked exactly like the one they had used to get there. Both Yarra and Gord looked below and then their ship and then back again down. They couldn’t believe it at first but then they realized that the model was not that uncommon and that the most important thing was to determine who had entered the planet if it was supposed to be deserted.

 They went back to the ship, where Ionek asked if they could leave at once but they refused, telling him about the ship below and how they had to go down there and check it out from up close. The captain refused to move his ship and clarified that the model was exclusive, or at least that was what the army said when they transferred him from the military. Yarra ignored that last part and told him they were using the jetpacks. Nothing indicated they couldn’t use them and it would be easier for them to investigate that way.

 Minutes later, Gorg and Yarra were floating down to other ship. The jetpacks worked a bit awkwardly, not responding fast enough, but they were good enough to get to the next rock. Once they were close enough to the ship, they started to check for life forms and found out they were three and they were all inside the ship. Gorg turned to Yara and urged her to leave. He had suddenly had a very bad feeling about it all.

 Then two shadows crossed the sky and the whole area became shrouded in darkness. It was as if they had landed on a dream that was about to turn into a nightmare. The team tried to active the jetpacks but they were slow to respond. Gorg’s made him fly but Yarra’s wasn’t working. It was then when she heard a sound coming from the ship and, at the same time, a device in her backpack started to beep. She had found the beacon. It had been put up by…

 She screamed but no one heard it as she was wearing a mask. She did it just as she had seen the crew of the other ship come out of the ship and walk towards her. Her jetpacked suddenly worked and she landed abruptly on the right rock. Gorg helped her up and they both ran to the ship. Ionek used every force the engines had to liberate it from the sink part and he succeeded, only by leave that part on the rock before rushing into space.

As he typed the codes to achieve interstellar flight, he asked them what had happened. His ship was know missing a limb and he wanted to know why. Gorg told him everything he had seen: the other ship and the shadows. But Yarra was shaking and trembling too much. She only said two words “beacon” and “us”.