Mostrando las entradas con la etiqueta luck. Mostrar todas las entradas
Mostrando las entradas con la etiqueta luck. Mostrar todas las entradas

lunes, 16 de abril de 2018

Every day is a raining day


   Every day is a raining day. Or at least that’s what it seems like these days. A storm follows another storm, which follows one more after that. There are only a few hours each day for people to get from one place to the other without being drenched in water. The rest of the time is almost impossible to look beyond oneself. There’s this mist that accompanies the rain, a strange vapor that seems to set in whenever water comes down pouring and those are the things some people thrive in.

 Not most but some. Some like to live in the dark, in alleys and dimly lit corridors. They even fear the light and what it brings, the people it lets into their lives. They’d rater stay in the shade with the other creatures of the darkness, as it is more comfortable for them and for the dealings they do with others like them. We all know what happens in those places, in those corners of the world we never really see but that we can imagine, with the distorted help of media, such as movies and television shows.

 The truth is that the darkness is way darker and grittier than we think. It’s not just about ugly people doing ugly things. It’s about every single kind of person doing things that we cannot even imagine. It’s about their lives, taking a turn for the worse and having to head for those shadows in order to survive, probably doing things that we think we would never do. But we haven’t fallen to the darkness, not yet anyways. We don’t even fear that happening because we feel it will never happen to us.

 But it does, all the time and everywhere. There are people right now; doing things they have to do in order to survive the day, maybe even to get some money to have something to eat. It won’t be a nice meal, a complete set of vegetables and proteins. It will most likely be something not very sanitary but cheap enough to sustain a body and a soul for a little longer. It’s what they have and what they can afford. And most of the times, they don’t even care. They just need the fuel to keep going.

 Eating is not a priority in their lives. Some of them don’t even do it often and they have lost all taste for things that they may have loved in their past, their better past. Food is a luxury to think about and to have. They go seeking other stuff, harder stuff; in order to be able to stay up all day doing whatever it is they need to do. Some of them sell drugs, some others sell themselves. Some kill and some are escaping people that want them dead. It’s the lowest and grimiest circle of life, one that barely exists and its filled with the worst this world can produce, which happens to be more than one would think.

 Once they hear thunder in the distance, they run to their hiding spots. These creatures, these people if that’s how you want to call them, they don’t really have a home. They have places to stay and the most fortunate ones amongst the unfortunate have a room somewhere that they can call their own. But it never feels like a proper home because most of the things there are not really theirs, the place is not theirs and they can never stay there for long. It’s just a place to go if they need such a thing, and a storage room.

 Everything is different in the dark. Not only you have to be stronger than in most places, you also have to be a bit smarter than the rest or at least more intuitive than in the real world. People will want to deceive you and there’s not really someone to trust fully. There are no friends or family, they are just people that are ok in one moment and then enemies or strangers the next second. It changes that fast because it has to, because it is a world in a never-ending flux.

 They also feel, like us. That’s not really different. The thing is they have to mask those feelings and even make them harder to manifest. They will love someone if the proper situation arises, they will also hate them with ease. But feelings can be dangerous to have in such a place because they are a weakness others can exploit. So you have to be tough, you have to be a rock even if you do feel like any other human being. Because they’re also humans, just ones that have ran out of any luck.

 Luck is not only about being fortunate enough to have a loving family and the right set of opportunities in life. Luck is also that thing that always seems to help you in moments when nothing seems to be able to give you a proper hand. We are all lucky, up here. In one way or the other. But down there, there is no luck. You actively have to know how to survive; you have to think your every move. One misstep, and you are out. And when you are out in the darkness, the consequences are much more serious.

 The darkness feeds on those who inhabit it. It’s a symbiotic relationship that is very tense and can break in any moment. That’s why those who live in it have to be careful. They don’t have one second to stop and think about life and feelings and how everything around them happens or doesn’t happen. They don’t have that luxury. They have to keep moving, keep doing things in order for their head to stay above water level. Because if for only little moment they forget where they are or who they are, they will drowned in the deep darkness of the world.

 And there’s nothing or no one that can help after that. In this world you are on your own and that is even more of a reality down there. Things may hurt and be scary but the real trick is to adapt fast and use who you are to stay in the most advantageous position you can be in.

 It’s not always easy and many; actually most of those who live in the dark, die without anyone else in the world knowing what ever happened to them. And that’s sad but its also not surprising seeing the kind of species we have become, one that is more than carnivorous but does eat one piece of meat.

martes, 19 de julio de 2016

Early

   Gustav had been waking up early for year. Since he was a baby, he had a thing for waking up his parents very early in the y day and not been able to sleep until it was later in the day, so late that their whole morning routine was disturbed by his actions. They didn’t need a clockwork because his timing which was always perfect. Every single morning at nine o’clock he would start crying and would do it for about two hours until he stopped and resumed later that day, in the evenings.

 After that, in preschool, he was considered a very different little boy. He woke up before his mother and his father and was able to serve himself a glass of orange juice which he drank as he waited for them to wake up. The bus picked him up at seven and he woke up at six every single day, no exception. As he got older, he was able to dress himself and work the shower in order to have the water in the right temperature, the one he preferred.

 In his preteens, he was teased by all the other kids because of such things. As per usual, they didn’t like him because he was so different. He wasn’t a genius or anything like that. His parents thought he would demonstrate at an early age his remarkable brain and that they would have to homeschool him because of how special he was going to be. But the truth was much different: he was only different because his eyes started to bother him from an early stage and glasses were needed sooner than expected.

 Gustav knew he needed the glasses but he was sure to take them out whenever he was able. He liked to take them off in the bus back home or in class when he was sleepy. Most adults didn’t like when he did that but the truth was he had never grown accustomed to sing them. Sometimes, on weekends, he wouldn0t use them at all, instead playing around the house like a normal kid having no problem with his vision.

 As a teenager he was still harassed by his classmates, pushed around occasionally, especially after gym class. It was the favorite moment of the week for jocks who were eager to prove themselves more important than everyone else. Even then, he was the first to arrive to school and that granted him with a special knowledge of everyone’s ways to do things.

 He realized the people that annoyed him had a really bad problem with sleeping so what he did was just avoid them in places they would never go on and if that wasn’t working, he would always know which classrooms were available to tell them in order for him to be released and them to have a nice nap or even for kissing their girlfriend. Whatever it was, Gustav knew it was useful information.

 Even in college, living away from his parents, he woke up very early in the morning to read the notes he had taken the way before. It was his technique for remembering stuff. The other good thing was that he always had a great seat in the earlier classes of the day and sometimes they did put up the most interesting ones very early.

 Different from high school, Gustav became one of those people that everyone knew in college. At first, he didn’t really have any friends but every single person knew who he was. He soon made real friends and in no time he was going to parties and drinking and smoking and doing every single thing teenagers do if they want to defy the authority out up to control them. After all, Gustav was only special in so many ways and, sadly, not really in a significant one that can save anyone from anything.

 Even after weekend long parties, he found himself waking up drunk or with a huge hangover very early in the morning. No one ever did that so that made him very notable in his group of people. It wasn’t that they made fun of him but rather that that they seem to be really captivated by how strange he was. And he knew they were all looking at him so he decided to be more interesting and started changing his clothes and doing more interesting things with that extra time he seemed to have every single day.

 He started to smuggle drugs into the campus the second year he attended college. Some guy he had met at a party told him about the huge amount of money he could get just buy passing the product from one person to the other, he didn’t really had to sell anything, he just had to help the product get to the real buyer. He never really knew who that person was, but he was very excited about being involved in such a thing.

As he woke up so early, he could easily grab the packages from one site and put it in the next without anyone saying anything. The only people that were awake so early were the members of the cleaning crew and many of them were also involved in the network of drug handlers. He was proud of himself because he had proven himself to be useful in some way. He had never felt that, not in his career and not before at home or elsewhere.

The smuggling business lasted for two whole years until some idiot was busted with a large pack of ecstasy pills in a park, at night. Apparently, she had the stupid idea of trying to rob one pill from the package and when she opened it every single pill jumped out of the small bag and fell into the grass in the middle of campus. The police was notified fast by some older woman and the girl was arrested and possibly sent to prison fro drug trafficking. The thrills ended for everyone that day.

 He knew he was lucky that he never got caught but, even so, Gustav was kind of sad that part of his life was over. Soon, he would graduate and he would have to confront the real world on his own. The truth was he didn’t feel ready to take on anything by himself. He used his morning time to walk around, to get to the roof of his dorm and lay down looking art the sky and watching the last stars of the night disappear. He thought of his decisions and his possibilities in a world that asked everyone to be exceptional, special in some way but no one really was.

 When he received his diploma, he came back home for some time. It was nice to see his parents again and feeling they were as proud of him then as they had been years before, when he thought he was the most special little boy to live in the planet. They were really nice people, honest and full of good principles that they had tried to put into his son. But they had failed and that’s why he couldn’t be in their presence for long. It could get very exhausting.

 Soon, he got a job in the city so he moved to a small place and started making a life for himself. He was lucky enough to land a job that required him to be very early every day so he didn’t really mind. He was a cameraman in a morning show and that always happened very early. His coworkers were always very tired in the morning, having to drink two or even three cups of coffee to actually work. He didn’t need that.

 His superiors realized that and decided to assign him to a reporter that was in charge of all the “night stories”. He went all over the city in the darkest hours to report on what was happening like road accidents, cases of violence, curious occurrences and all types of things that happened really late or early in the day. Gustav felt he was in the perfect place, being able to do his work in the best way possible.

 After his first six months, his boss was so impressed with his work that he decided to assign him the job of reporter after the one they had decided to drop out because of the “difficult job schedule”. Gustav was very thankful because he had never thought of being in front of the camera instead of behind it. He got some classes on how to speak properly and he documented himself on the city. By the time he started, every person looking just fell in love with him.


 For that work, he received a lot of praise including several awards that made him kind of a famous personality in TV. He eventually got married and received many other proposals for similar jobs and he would consider them all because he had finally understood he did have something that made him special. It was just it wasn’t the most amazing thing ever.

viernes, 30 de enero de 2015

Unexpected

  Somewhere, a clock announced time. The sound came from somewhere near but not from inside the room. With his eyes shut, Andrew could only hear the sound of the clock, which died fast. He finally opened his eyes and realized it was very early. He could see a blue morning outside, one of those cold mornings that only happen before seven or eight. Andre just stared at his window. He was warm and cozy there but he probably needed to come out of his sheets soon as…

 He remembered. It was Saturday. He thanked God, whichever he believed in, because he just wanted to stay there all morning. The night before he had done something he never did and now it seemed like a memory from a time long passed. He had called this guy he knew and invited him in and just went crazy with him. His head was still slightly turning because of the alcohol but he didn’t feel any hangover.

 Andrew stood up and looked out the window. The street below was deserted except for a couple of older women that seemed to be going to the market. The young man decided to the kitchen. He may not be drunk still but he was very thirsty. He walked distracted, thinking of what he had done the night before. Pouring some orange juice in a glass, he realized the guy from the night before had forgotten his wallet. It was right there, just in front of the TV.

 The young man opened his fridge again and realized he had nothing to do a decent breakfast with. No eggs, no cheese, no ham. And in the pantry, it was the same story: no bread or crackers, not even potato chips. So, he had to take a walk down to the store. He went back to his bedroom, put on some loose pants (the kind you would wear for the gym) and an old t-shirt. He grabbed a coat, the keys and a bill he always left in a secret stash for occasions like this. When he was at the door, he realized he had almost forgotten his cellphone. Once he had it, he went out.

 Effectively, there was a cold weather outside. The sun was apparently trying to warm people up but it wasn’t too high up to make any difference. It was pleasant to feel the heat in the face but that was it. There were two blocks between Andrew’s building and the small market the old ladies he had seen before were headed for. He actually saw them arguing for which tomatoes looked better.

 Andrew grabbed a small cart and looked for some eggs, white bread and cereal. He loved the supermarket and going alone. This was because he felt he could imagine the lives of everyone in there, he could try to guess what kind of people they were and the moment when they would be eating their groceries. Maybe the man buying the salmon wanted to impress a lady with a fancy diner and he was certain the guy who didn’t remember the name of the chicken part he was supposed to buy, had being sent there by his wife. The old ladies were probably going to cook a nice breakfast for both of them or some grandchildren. There was also a woman and Andrew that, like him, she lived alone. He was always alone and now he had gotten a guy to fuck with...

 Then, the cellphone rang. It vibrated too and this combination made Andrew severely annoyed, especially because it had interrupted his wandering through the supermarket. The number that appeared on the screen was unknown to him, so he didn’t answer. He just pressed the red part of the screen and pocketed his cellphone. He had arrived at the aisle of instant meals and he grabbed a few for the following nights. He had no idea when he would go to do proper shopping.

The cellphone rang again and this time he answered before he could see the number. He answered with an annoyed “Yes?” but then froze right where he was: it was the guy from the night before. He seemed ashamed to call but he asked Andrew if he could go by the house. He had left his wallet there and, obviously, he needed for his daily living. The guy asked Andrew if he could go right away and, without even thinking about it, our main character said yes. They hung up fast.

 Andrew stayed there, looking at the microwave meals like an idiot. But he wasn’t really looking at them. The problem was that he didn’t want to look at that guy again; he really didn’t want him in his house. But, why hadn’t he said anything? Andre could have opened his mouth and say “I’ll leave it with the doorman” or something, but he didn’t. And he was ashamed and worried he didn’t.

 After he had paid his food, Andrew walked to his house hoping not to see the guy standing there, at the door. He wasn’t. He felt relieved but not so much when, entering his apartment, he saw the wallet the guy had left there. It was funny, now that he thought of it, to call him just “that guy” on his mind. He had no idea of his name.

 The truth was that guy had come out of the Internet and the only intention Andrew had had with him was to have sex. That was it. He didn’t want him back. Besides, there was another thing. The guy was very good looking. This may seem a bit shallow but he was rather cute. And that had made Andre very nervous the night before. That’s why he had so much to drink. Now that he thought of it, it was lucky that he wasn’t puking like crazy in his bathroom.

 He didn’t consider himself a cute guy and he was so ashamed a guy like the one that had come to his apartment had come for him. It was just ridiculous, or so he thought. But he couldn’t think of it for long because the buzzer interrupted his thinking. It was the doorman announcing someone called Alex. He was going to say he didn’t know anyone by that name but then he realized that was probably the guy’s actual name, so he said, “let him in”.

 Andrew grabbed the wallet and put it on the counter, next to his groceries. “Stupid me!” he said out loud. He opened the wallet and grabbed one of many cards inside. It was his ID. Yes, this was Alexander Hoffman’s wallet. How stupid of him not having a quick look at the wallet, at least to know the name. The doorbell rang so he put the ID back inside the wallet and left it on the kitchen counter.

 He opened the door, pulling his shirt straight. The guy on the other side was a bit taller than he was, hair long but nicely cut and he had dark stubble, perfectly framing his face.

-       Hey.
-       Hey...

 Andrew didn’t know what to say. Alex looked a bit uneasy.

-       Come in. Sorry.

 Alex came in and saw his wallet on the counter. He grabbed and went through everything that was in there.

-       Thanks man. Thought I had lost it.
-       It’s ok.

 Alex smiled at Andrew. Andrew blushed.

-       You’re cute.

 Andrew burst in uncontrolled laughter.

-       Sorry… That… It’s funny.
-       What is?
-       You saying that.
-       Why? You are cute.

 This time Andrew didn’t laugh. Alex looked at him and then shook his wallet in front of Andrew.

-       In the mood for breakfast? For your help?


 Andrew smiled, still a bit red. Then, he nodded.