Strong woman

   By then, she had become a professional. She knew every single trick to travel, no matter if it had to do with packing her suitcase or buying the best hygiene products for herself. She knew which airlines offered what, the amount of room she had on any plane and the time she had in every single flight to work, sleep and relax. You could say she was a little bit to rigid with her life but Christine would have answered that she was just very well prepared. And that’s why her bosses loved her.

 Not only she was very practical in her travelling life, she was also like that with work. She travelled around the country and to other parts of the world, helping companies with their problems with technology and innovation. Christine went everywhere to hold meetings and conferences to anyone interested about how a company could survive in the new digital era. She knew about every single new development and was very well versed in the finance world too.

 Some people saw her as a danger to their way of doing things, specifically those people that were just corrupt and had arranged the system to work for them instead of working for everyone. During her fifteen-year experience, she had been responsible for unmasking a very high number of corruption scandals on many different companies. No matter if they produced video games or handled supermarkets, there was always someone trying to make more than the rest.

 That possibly was why so many people hated her too. In her world, in her order of things, there was no such thing as personal interests. She couldn’t understand how someone could put themselves in front and leave everyone else behind. Granted, she was not the best to speak about group efforts as she never did them herself, but she knew the value of having a good team to make a company go to directions no one else had ever gone. She tried not only to make them all win money and be successful, but Christine also wanted them to have a heart.

 That made her enemies very angry and that’s why many companies that had once asked for her help, suddenly rejected her and even campaigned against her actively in order for her bosses to be tempted to fire her or something but that never happened. Not only because she was really good at her job, but also because they feared her. They knew that if she was so good, she must have had something on the company she worked. It was only natural that she did, to protect her own interests.

 But that was where they didn’t understand her. She didn’t have anything on anyone in the company. She had even checked on that. And it was because she believed a relationship based on trust was much better than one based in fear. So from her side, everything was just fine. From their side not so much, but she had decided long ago that she couldn’t be worried about things she had no real control over. There was no way she could convince them that she wasn’t going to turn on them one day.

 Real problems came the day her enemies, people that had robbed millions, sued her in court with allegations of her work being unethical and, also, for receiving money in order to help improve conditions in some companies and not in other. They said that she refused to help their companies because she was under orders not to let them have any part in the business. They were very specific in their statements and even presented evidence of every single thing they were claiming.

 Christine would have wanted to laugh and she did when she got home but certainly not in the courthouse, where everyone’s eyes were fixed on her. She tried not to make any telling expressions and only limited her words to denying what those men in suits were saying. She was very calm and one could even say she didn’t care much for having to loose time there when she could be doing something much more interesting. Her rivals even pointed that out but the judge seemed not to mind much.

The actual trial was set to begin two months later. She would have to keep working until then because she had many prior commitments. But her company had asked her to please hold any engagements until after the trial was done because they didn’t want any of their clients to feel they could lose not only money but also their prestige in the business world. Of course, she understood perfectly what they were asking of her. So the day before she went to trial, was the same day she finally stopped at home and realized how her life would change now.

 The trial was very well publicized because many people in the media had been bought by the owners of the companies that were suing her. So it was obvious what their position was. They wanted her to be turn to shreds by people too, which was very hypocritical as those same companies were the ones that robbed everyone of their savings and their hard won money.  She had some big lawyers on her side too but the ones in the other side were particularly vicious. So much so that, on the second day, they even dared to attack her personal life, which was preposterous.

 Her lawyer told her not to say anything about that and she didn’t but it was the first time she seemed out of control. She wasn’t happy, at all, that her enemy was so visibly desperate that they wanted to find a weak spot wherever they could see it. Their questions and allegations hovered around the fact that she was an unmarried adult woman that lived her life travelling around. They called her irresponsible and immoral, which was perfect for the always religious people in juries. There’s always a couple.

 The trial went on for weeks. Whenever she thought they had been discredited by her very well built case, they came again with claims of bribery and corruption. It was then when she really got tired and decided not only to do her own defense but also using their own tricks. She would go personal and to the facts they were attacking on her. She was very tired and she had never felt that way. Christine was a very strong person but know, for some reason, she was beginning to feel the weight of years of work.

 The first day, in which she defended herself, she attacked them head on with proof of their own corruption. She had the papers and the data, which she always kept on her records to bring them down. One by one, one by day, she destroyed their credibility in front of the judge. Of course, they came against her hard with more personal questions and other attacks but Christine was ready, she had prepared herself thoroughly for that occasion, so she had brought the big guns.

 Did they want to talk about hidden children, lovers, weird fetishes and many other things? Fine, she went there with proof. During her years as a woman in business she had also made a lot of good friends, friends with enough talents to actually uncover things about people that they would have never thought no one would ever know about. But those good friends, many of those owed a lot to Christine, came to help in her hour of need. They really did the best they could to help her win that damn case.

 The day she actually won, the papers suddenly went silent and she went back to work. She decided to work now for smaller companies in order to help them be bigger and better. Christine wanted no more juggernauts in the game. Instead, she wanted to help where she was really needed. And she knew that they would let her do that because now she was a big name. Now they knew who she was and what she could do: bring empires up or down to the ground. There was clearly no one better in the game and Christine knew it very, very well.

Aquella vez

   Me enamoré de él el día que empecé a tener los síntomas de la peor gripe que había tenido ese año. De hecho, no había tenido ninguna molestia física por un largo tiempo y lo atribuía todo a la rutina de ejercicio que había comenzado a hacer. Era, al menos al comienzo, pedirle mucho a mi cuerpo pues jamás le había exigido de esa manera. Los resultados fueron tan satisfactorios que por eso pensé que ninguna gripa ni malestar de ese tipo podía aquejarme ya más porque había decidido mover mi trasero del cómodo lugar donde siempre lo había tenido.

 Justo por el tiempo que empecé a ejercitarme, cosa que hacía en privado pues nunca podría hacer algo así en frente de todo el mundo, fue cuando lo conocí a él. Creo que fue en una librería en la que entré solo por curiosidad. Tenían muchos libros que no se encontraban en otros lugares. De historietas cómicas y novelas gráficas a novelas románticas de lo más clásico que uno se pudiera imaginar. Yo iba por las primeras, él por las segundas. No había manera de que nos conociéramos así no más. Pero el destino tiene esas cosas raras que son muy acertadas, sin importar el desenlace.

 Yo había entrado con una bolsa del supermercado. No había comprado muchas cosas pero las suficientes para hacer un hueco en el plástico y caer estrepitosamente al suelo de madera de la silenciosa librería. En ese momento tenía un libro en la mano y en la otra el celular, así que me reacción inmediata fue mirar con pánico para todos lados, a ver si alguien se había dado cuenta de mi accidente. Obviamente todas las miradas estaban sobre mí pero mis ojos se posaron en una persona, la única persona, que parecía moverse mientras todos estábamos como suspendidos en el tiempo.

 Se apresuró a ayudarme con lo que se había caído y lo metió todo en una bolsa de tela que, al parecer, había acabado de comprar. Tenía la bandera gay más grande que hubiese visto, cosa que no es muy mi estilo pero la verdad fue hasta después que me fijé en ese detalle. Mis ojos estuvieron ocupados por mucho tiempo mirándolo a él, su cara y sus ojos y, a decir verdad, su cuerpo. Todo eso pasó en primavera y la ropa de invierno ya no era la norma, así que podía ver mejor sus formas. Para serles sincero quedé completamente fascinada por él casi al instante.

 Me dio la bolsa y me dijo que creía haber recogido todo. Tontamente me di cuenta que yo no había ayudado en nada, solo me había quedado congelado allí como tonto mirándolo y no había hecho nada más. Creo que el cajero se dio cuenta porque me miraba como riéndose, cosa que no me gustó y por eso decidí no comprar nada. Estaba muy apenado.

 Iba de camino a casa y la bolsa de tela era un regalo para su primo que vivía en Alemania. Me contó esto en un momento. Me dijo que me podía acompañar a mi casa, dejar allí mis cosas para poder liberar su bolsa de tela y volver a su propia casa para guardar el regalo. Yo estaba tan sonriente que la verdad solo asentí y me dedicó a escucharlo todo el camino. Era un golpe de mala suerte, eso pensé, que mi casa quedara tan cerca de la librería. Lo invité a seguir y el aceptó, ayudándome a organizar mis compras.

 Cuando terminamos, nos quedamos mirándonos por un momento hasta que le propuse tomar café pero en un lugar en la calle porque yo no compro nunca café. Él soltó una carcajada y dijo que sí. Esa tarde la pasé muy bien, hablamos varias horas hasta que él tuvo que irse. Justo antes de despedirnos, me pidió mi número y prometió escribir o llamar pronto. Francamente no me hice muchas ilusiones: era tan guapo y tan interesante que debía ser algo pasajero en mi vida, estaba seguro.

 Sin embargo, esa misma noche me escribió diciendo que luego recordó como no había comprado nada en la librería y ahora debía volver para averiguar el libro que había estado buscando. Hablamos hasta la una de la madrugada sobre el libro, sobre sus gustos y los míos. Quería seguir pero tenía mucho sueño y tuve que ser el que se despedía esta vez. Esa noche no hubo sueños pero dormí como si me hubiese acostado sobre una nube, la más suave y más grande de ellas.

 Nuestra relación avanzó rápidamente. Tan rápido de hecho que me sorprendí a mi mismo meses después, al notar como él estaba todo el tiempo en mi casa, solo en medias o incluso sin ellas, viendo películas sobre el sofá o besándonos por lo que parecían horas. Ese verano incluso hicimos un pequeño viaje juntos y fue la primera vez que hicimos el amor. Creo que nunca había disfrutado del sexo de esa manera y era porque había un ingrediente extra que nunca antes había estado allí.

 Fue después de nuestra primera Navidad juntos cuando me enfermé. Fue tan repentino que ambos nos asustamos. En un momento estaba bien y al otro me había desmayado en el baño, golpeándome el brazo contra el mostrador donde está el lavamanos. Me obligó a ir al doctor, cosa que me parecía exagerada para lo que era obviamente una gripa. Incluso con la confirmación, se puso muy serio desde el primer momento. Era algo que yo jamás había vivido y por eso no lo entendía bien.

 Prácticamente se mudó a mi casa. La verdad es que, entre mi dolor y malestar, me gustaba ver su ropa allí con la mía. Me encantaba ver como ponía sus zapatos cerca de la puerta y me hacía una sopa que su abuela le había enseñado cuando era un niño pequeño. No tenía muchas ganas de reír ni nada parecido pero la sonrisa que tenía desde que lo había conocido seguía en mi rostros pues para mí él era fascinante. Era como si no fuera de este mundo, tanto así. Era amor.

 Me dio el jarabe y las pastillas a las horas adecuadas y me acompañaba en la cama con una mascarilla sobre su boca. Era yo el que había insistido en ello, aunque él aseguraba que sus defensas eran tan buenas que un gripe de ese estilo no podía entrar en él. Eso me hacía gracia pero igual lo obligué a usar la máscara porque no quería arriesgar nada. Todas las noches me daba un beso con la máscara de por medio y con eso yo era feliz hasta el otro día, cuando inevitablemente despertaba antes que él.

 Me encantaba mirarlo dormido, aprenderme la silueta de su rostro de memoria. No tengo ni tendré la más remota idea de cómo dibujar apropiadamente a un ser humano pero quería tener al menos ese recuerdo, uno bien detallado para que nunca lo olvidara. Sin embargo, sabía que eso ya no podía pasar. Ya estaba en mí y pasara lo que pasara, seguiría allí por mucho tiempo. Cuando se despertaba por fin, me miraba y se reía. No preguntaba nada pero creo que sabía lo que yo hacía.

 La sopa de la abuela funcionó, al igual que sus dedicados cuidados. Aunque me duró una semana el virus, pudimos deshacernos de él juntos. Tal fue mi alegría el día que me sentí verdaderamente mejor, que hicimos el amor de la forma más personal y emocionante en la que jamás lo hubiese hecho. Fue después de esa noche cuando él me dijo que quería vivir conmigo permanentemente. Fue fácil arreglarlo todo, acordar como sería todo con el dinero y esos detalles.

 El día que trajo todo fue el más feliz de mi vida. Lo ayudé a guardarlo todo y luego lo celebramos cenando algo delicioso que casi nunca comíamos. Me di cuenta entonces de que lo amaba, de que él me amaba a mí y de que acababa de empezar un nuevo capítulo en mi vida. No sabía más y no era necesario puesto que todo lo que tenía era suficiente para vivir feliz y eso era lo que siempre había necesitado.

Accidents happen

   The pain in my legs was, for lack of a better word, horrible. Any movement caused me awful pain, so I had to learn to be still or to move only from the waist up, twirling that part of my body like a gummy candy. The bed they had assigned for me was, thankfully, larger than myself and very comfortable. It even had a sweet scent that I couldn't point to but that I found really interesting and soothing. I think it may have been vanilla or something very similar because it reminded me of my past. For some reason, that smell help me calm down whenever my legs would start to make me feel as if I was in front of the devil in the depths of hell. It was that bad and, looking back, I can easily say it was one of the worst moments in my life.

 The accident had caused me to stay in that bed for months, in that hospital located in the middle of nowhere. The number of patients changed dramatically during my time there. At one point, I could swear we were not more than twenty people. Later on, it felt like a filled up prison holding more than a thousand inmates. And I talk about prison because that's how it felt like sometimes and the building really did help to that effect. It was one of those relics from some war long ago and they had tried, without much success, to convert it completely to a hospital. Apparently it had also been a mental house, a school, an orphanage and even a place where alcohol would be hidden from the local authorities.

 The history of the place, without a doubt, was very interesting. But during my stay I could only think about when I was going to be released. The doctors told me, through a translator they had called only for my case, that my recovery was going to be so difficult that it was best if I stayed there for several months. All in all, I stayed there for around five months until I was finally released. The doctors and the nurses were not the most loving or soft people in the world but they were very good at what they did. Maybe I didn't see them smile very often but I know that they did the best they could with my case and thanks to them I was able to recover. Of course, my legs still have some moments of "weird behavior", but I have learned to live with that.

 After all, only centimeters and seconds had separated me from being dead. Everytime I think about the accident, I understand everything a little bit less, if that's even possible. Because I have no idea how I got to be fighting for my life, my legs covered in blood and my body just aching with pain. I have no idea how I endured after all of that but here I am, I guess. It happens often after I shower that I sit down on a chair in my bedroom and I look down to them and I see some of the scars, still visible below a not so thick layer of hair. I am thankful to be alive and walking around because I have no idea how the hell they did it, how they made my legs work as if nothing had ever happen to them. It's just amazing.

 I am not a religious person and doubt I will ever be but, during my stay in the hospital and even recently, I have found myself praying somewhere in my house. I had never done that before but I guess that when death has been so close, you just want to cover your bases. And besides that, I really think it was a miracle that I could walk again. I don't think it was the Lord or anything like that that helped me recover, but I cannot find a proper way to understand how it all came up to this. to me writing about this, here and now, as if had been nothing. It just amazes me every day and I think many people that know me and that know about what happened to me, are just as amazed by all of it as I am.

 Even the stay in that dreadful place is something I will keep forever in my heart. Because in that place I learned to love myself for who I am and not for anything else. I learned to settle down, to calm down even and let things fall into place before I rush into anything. I had many sleepless nights, many moments of reflection during days in which I didn't do much. I even met some great people and, towards the end, I also had a temporary lover who helped me in more ways than one to pull it off, to survive what I was going through. It wasn't easy and I won't, ever, forget that it happened because it is one of those pivotal moments in someone's life. It had to be that bad to get a slightly better with time.

Oídos sordos

   No se oye nada. De pronto es idea mía o de pronto sí es algo real. Creo que me estoy quedando sordo.

 No me muevo de la cama. Por alguna razón estoy acostado sobre mi lado izquierdo. Jamás duermo de lado sino sobre mi abdomen, mi pecho, o como sea que quieran llamarle. El caso es que no duermo así, entonces es raro. Me quedo quieto, mirando la pared blanca frente a mi.

 Mis ojos se abren bastante, por primera vez en el día. No veo nada más sino el muro blanco. No hay ni una mancha, no hay nada allí más que la inmensidad de la pintura blanca. Entonces siento el calor y me quito la sabana de encima. Es entonces que me duele y me doy cuenta de dos cosas: hay algo sobre mi cara y, en efecto, no puedo oír nada.

 No me pongo de pie sino que me quedo en la cama, abriendo y cerrando los ojos. Mi mano derecha sube lentamente a mi cara. Me toco el mentón y voy deslizando los dedos por la piel en dirección a mi oído, donde siento la mayor molestia. Debajo del pelo que forma la patilla, siento que la piel está inflamada, muy inflamada. Recuerdo que el día anterior me dolía el oído pero era un dolor que iba y venía, ahora es permanente.

 Está muy hinchado y me empieza a doler, como que todo mi cuerpo se da cuenta que estoy de verdad despierto y que el dolor tiene espacio para empezar a sentirse. Me recorre el cuerpo un escalofrío, que incluso me hace doler el pie y me hace sentir muy extraño. 

 Tomo impulso y me pongo de pie y camino, casi automáticamente, al baño. No es mi casa de siempre, solo me estoy quedando por un tiempo. Pero llego, prendo la luz y trato de mirarme pero es dificil verse los oídos. Me toco de nuevo y me echo agua, pensando que puede que el frío ayude. ¿O será mejor el calor?

 No, lo mejor es salir. Media hora después estoy en la sala de espera de un hospital, el único del que sé la existencia en esta ciudad que no es la mía. Me llaman y me hacen esperar aún más en una pequeña sala donde otras personas se quejan o hacen cara de enfermedad. Parece que todos están malos del estómago o algo por el estilo. No es raro en una ciudad de clima cálido, a la que vienen muchos turistas y comen y se meten en cualquier lado sin observar los mínimos niveles de limpieza.

 Mientras espero me miro los pies. Siento un poco de mareo o de pronto sea yo mismo que me hago sentir peor. Es raro pero así son las cosas en los hospitales. Son sitios horribles y terribles, llenos de quejidos de niños y caras largas de padres cuyas vacaciones han sido arruinadas pero nada pueden decir o sino sonaría muy cruel.

 Tras varios minutos, o tal vez menos o tal vez más, me hace pasar una joven doctora. Se demora más escribiendo en el computador que revisándome como se debe. Prefiero pensar que sabe lo que hace. No hablamos casi, solo me hace unas preguntas básicas y le explico mi dolor y cómo me he sentido en los últimos días. Al parecer no nota nada especial en lo que le cuento porque parece no estar muy interesada. O tal vez sea su cara de "Sí, ya sé de que me habla".

 Llena un papel, me dice que pague la consulta y en la farmacia de la esquina compro lo que me recomienda la doctora. Apenas llego al apartamento me tomo las pastillas con agua y me acuesto de nuevo. Siento hambre pero prefiero no comer nada. Me quedo mirando la pared, con mis pensamientos perdidos en la nada.

 - "Maldita sea..." - pienso. "¡Que bonito comienzo del año!"

Por un momento olvido el dolor y me doy la vuelta. Mala decisión.

Christmas dinner

   As always for that time of the year, Adele had to out on her best clothes when working. It wasn’t really well seen if the hostess of a very prestigious restaurant dressed in any kind of clothing. She had to have some nice dresses for every single type of occasion, as she was the face of the hotel on the evening people had chosen to come. She represented everything for them and was the go to person if anything were to happen during one of the many dinners the hotel hosted all along the year. It was always vey busy, a successful business.

 Christmas time was especially hard on the hotel workers. For example, Adele had to wake up very early in the morning every single day leading to Christmas. For a week or so, she would have to put on her best coat to resist the fierceness of the weather and also because she really needed to get warm as soon as she arrived at the hotel as many things had to be checked. And in Christmas this was done in the most exact way, as everything had to be in line with perfection that night, as they always promised their guests the most lavish dinner ever.

 The kitchen staff consisted of several men and only a few women. There weren’t many women trying to breakout in the business and she was only closely related to everything they did on the actual restaurant. Adele was only a hostess and she would never be able to grow much more than that in her line of work. It all depended on very well paid jobs in certain events and parties, which he had hosted occasionally but not as prolifically as the events held on the hotel. There, she knew she was prepared to resist anything and everything.

 In the days leading to the Christmas dinner, the menu was checked several times and many testing lines were done. It was Adele’s job to taste everything and determine if she needed to change something in order to have some more time or make it a more successful menu. Two days before, she even thought it was going to be necessary to change the dessert because it wasn’t very well achieved but the person in charge of confectionery convinced her that he could make it more attractive with some superficial design.

 The day before Christmas he presented his corrections and he was lucky enough to be congratulated by Adele. The rest of the dishes were done and they only needed to cook them early on Christmas Eve in order for everything to be on point for the dinner. Many cases of wine were ordered from around the world, as well as many other alcoholic beverages. They also bought lots of cheese for after dinner and had to go to the market to buy the best and most fresh products in order to cook everything they needed for the menu.

 The night before the party, Adele was not able to sleep properly. She had gone to bed intentionally early but it didn’t work out at all. Not only was she worried about the dinner and the results the hotel was going to get with it but she also doubted her personal capacity to resist everything she was going to be held against. After all, the dinner was practically her show and if anything went wrong, it was her skill which had to come to work in order to fix whatever that needed to be fixed. All those thoughts did not let her sleep for a minute.

 When she arrived in the hotel, she checked every produce than had arrived and gathered the staff around her in order to tell them a few things before beginning. Not only the kitchen staff was present during the speech but also the rest of the hotel employees, as most guest were going to stay the night after dinner. Adele asked for everyone to do their best, to make it an experience that none of them could be able to replicate anywhere else. They needed to make that night one of the most special nights ever for every single guest.

 Rooms began to be cleaned and final details were being put on all over the hotel as flowers in every floor to make it smell divine. The kitchen went into full gear from very early in the morning, as they also had to cook for the rest of the guests in the hotel that were not going to participate in the dinner. It seemed to be chaos in the kitchens but the chef, and to a lesser extent Adele, knew how to make it all seem so peaceful, to always have a certain order that may not be obvious but with which every single person can work with to achieve the goals.

 Adele also had to check every single bedroom in order to personally see that the other workers had done a good job. She had to check first the ones where people had the intention to arrive earlier and then she moved on to the rest, checking for the bed to be perfectly done and for the furniture not to have a spec of dust. She also checked the bathroom, as that had always been very popular after dinner. People loved to have a bubble bath at some point so it was better to be prepared. Anything people wanted while staying had to become a reality.

 As she was checking the top floor, Adele received word that something had gone wrong with the dessert. Apparently the ingredients had been on a refrigerator that wasn’t working very well and they had become useless. Many melted and others were simply not the quality needed for the dessert. Adele ordered for all of that to be stored away and demanded the pastry chef and the confectionery guy to come up with something very fast as her customers couldn’t go without desert.

 Dinner was scheduled for nine o’clock at night. At seven, some of the guests begun to arrive and the desserts were not really done yet. Adele was very pleased to escort the first couple upstairs and tell them everything about the dinner, the usage of the bathroom and of the rest of the hotels features such as the swimming pool, the steam room and the spa, among others. She was lucky enough to check that room beforehand because she had discover dirty towels in the bathroom, so she changed that before anyone noticed.

 She didn’t join everyone to their room as, at eight o’clock, many more people started to arrive and she certainly didn’t have any time to waste. She used that moment to go back to the kitchen and see what they had come up with for dessert. As expected, they weren’t having many ideas. The people in charge were not as imaginative as they needed to be and they were really relaying on clichés to make a proper dessert. But the same old pastries and ice cream were not nearly goo enough for Christmas dinner. It would be an insult to the guests!

 Adele decided to come up herself with a new dessert. She knew they didn’t have much time, so she decided to reuse some of the ingredients they had from past parties. She decided to reuse the chocolate balls that melted when hot chocolate was poured on top of them. She decided to change the liquid chocolate for caramel and told the staff to come up with some sort of truffle at the center of the ball, in order for people to have a nice surprise when having their last dish. She put everyone to work and told them they had minutes to come up with a tasting plate.

 She decided to visit the lobby as they prepared, in order to let in the first guests. It was decided they should wait at the lounge bar, as she preferred to know first if the dessert was a go or no. She returned to the kitchen briefly to taste her idea and approved it when she realized it was good enough. Half of the kitchen staff had to help do all the desert plates needed for the evening. Adele left them again in order to open the restaurant and let everyone inside. The music had been carefully chosen as well as the design of the menus.

 The dinner started with applause when the guests saw their first plate, which was absolutely gorgeous. Then came the other dishes and finally the dessert. People didn’t say much about it but, when coming out of the restaurant, they praised the idea for being “simple but effective”. As some guests headed towards their beds and other towards the bar, Adele went to the kitchens and declared the night a complete success. She wasn’t going to sleep much that night either but at least she wasn’t going to be worried.