When she opened her eyes, she saw directly
into the fire. The flames were in front of her, making her face feel warmer
than she wanted to. As much as she wanted to move or get away, she just
couldn’t move. Her body felt extremely heavy and her head felt really big,
turning like crazy as she closed her eyes again and tried to convince herself
she was not awake but sleeping, deep into one of her very crazy dreams. But she
couldn’t do that either. It was all true. The flames danced in front of her and
she could only look at them, feeling almost burned.
Suddenly, she felt her body being pulled away
from the car, which had being turned upside down. It hurt as the asphalt of the
road caressed her skin and clothes. But she couldn’t complain. She couldn’t say
a word even if she wanted to because of how weak she felt. Also, she was very
dizzy and couldn’t quite understand what was happening. However, she kept her
eyes opened because she just couldn’t close them anymore. The heat of the
flames seemed far now and all she felt was the smell of it all, which was
awful.
Suddenly, the car exploded and several parts
rained all over the place. One of them fell a bit too close to her face but she
didn’t really mind at all. It was as if she was looking at a movie, at something
she wasn’t really involved in. Her eyes were open the whole time and her brain
worked so slowly she never really asked herself who had pulled her away from
wreckage. She was just too shocked to think of anything. After a while, she
felt very tired and decided to close her eyes for a moment. She fell asleep and
only woke up many hours later in an ambulance.
It was for long though. The only thing she saw
was a very big needle and some blurry guy holding it. Or maybe it was a woman…
She had no idea but she did now that a sudden pain invaded her body and then
she was immersed again in the world of slumber. She dreamt about an ice cream
shop she had loved as a child. Her father used to take her there in secret, as
her mother was not very keen on sweets. They would ask for the ice cream and
eat it in under thirty minutes, almost as a challenge to themselves before they
had to head home.
She woke up again many hours later, in a
hospital bed. This time, the moment she opened her eyes, she felt the strongest
headache she had ever felt. It seemed as if it was going to break her head into
two parts. The pain was so awful that she screamed and in seconds two nurses
came rushing in and injected what was probably a sedative on her IV. She calmed
down but the headache was still there. She tried to tell them, tried to explain
to them how much it hurt. But no words came out of her mouth. She couldn’t
speak a word.
When she woke up again, it was a very bright
day outside. The light rushed into her room and she felt kind of happy to see
the light after so much time spent in her dreams. However, her mind was still
working slow, as well as her body. She was thankful because the headache had
disappeared and she could at least look at the window without feeling a huge pain
in her head. She looked on for a long time, so long in fact that the rays of
sunlight changed angles as she stared at the world outside of which she
couldn’t see very much.
Outside, the sky was very blue and just a
couple of thin clouds floated high above everything. Aside from that, she could
only see some building, all made of bricks. She had no idea where she was or
how but she was sure it was a safe place. Although, she did wanted to go back
home as soon as possible. So much so, that she tried to get out of bed to have
a better view of the window in order to know where in the city she was and if
she could maybe walk home. She knew there was a hospital near her house, so
maybe that was it.
But when she attempted to move her legs, they
didn’t respond. She attributed it to how slow her mind was running, so she
decided to take a deep breath and then try again. But again, nothing happened.
She looked at her legs and slowly touched them as much as she could. Her arms
were not very long and they felt extremely weak, but she reached down as she
could in order to verify what was going on. In that precise moment, a nurse
entered the room and saw her. She then rushed back out, yelling someone’s name.
The woman stopped trying to touch her legs and
rested her body against the pillows. She felt exhausted and tried to think
about what just happened: she couldn’t feel her legs. She couldn’t move them at
all. Why wasn’t she reacting more violently to this revelation? Why didn’t she
felt compelled to yell or cry or whatever? Her head felt like a balloon, filled
with air that didn’t let her think of anything. She pulled her head back and
closed her eyes, trying to get back to her last memory before the hospital. But
that seemed to be almost impossible.
The door opened again and this time it was a
man dressed in those mint green uniforms that people often used in hospitals.
She looked at him quietly, as he checked the machines around him. A nurse was
behind him, taking notes. He then checked his patient by looking at her eyes
and then checking her ears and skin. He asked for her to pull out her tongue
but she didn’t seem to hear or understand what he had said. He tried again but
she didn’t do anything.
Then, he pulled out a very small bottle from
his pocket, along with a syringe. He filled it with the liquid in the bottle
and injected it directly into her arm. At first, she didn’t feel a thing. But
then, it seemed as if whatever that liquid was, it worked as a way to shake
people up in the most violent way possible. She suddenly felt pain and many
thought rushed into her head. Everything seemed to be happening so fast. Sounds
were loud, maybe too loud and the sunlight felt too bright. She covered her
face and cried, trying to control what she was feeling.
After a while, the pain and awkward feelings
went away and she knew exactly where she was and what had happened. She was
finally aware of everything and not in some sort of trance. Whatever the doctor
had put in her bloodstream, it eliminated all the effects from the other shot
she had received. She was no longer a peaceful lamb that couldn’t even think
for herself. She was her again, with every single memory and pain possible. But
she couldn’t remember why she was there. As much as she tried to remember, it
seemed hidden somehow.
The doctor asked her if she knew her name. The
woman said it out loud, hearing her own voice for the first time in a while.
Then, he asked if she could remember the reason why she was there. She
indicated that she couldn’t and asked him to tell her because she was going mad
trying to remember, trying to go back to at least a sound or an image or
whatever that could help her remember. The doctor said she had been in a car
crash, having been expelled out of the car by the force of the impact. That’s
why she had some cuts all over.
When he said it, she looked at her arms and realized
that was true: she had small cuts on her skin. And suddenly she remembered the
flames and someone pulling her away from them. She told this to the doctor and
he asked her if she knew who had done that. She replied that she couldn’t
remember a face but that it had probably been her husband. But then the doctor
looked at the ground and got closer. He explained his patient that it was not
possible that her husband had done it because he had died instantly in the
crash.
The news hit her hard. She started crying and
was held by the doctor for a moment. When they separated, she looked at her
legs and realized what had happened. She looked at the doctor and he nodded,
words being useless at that point. She cried in silence and the doctor left
with the nurse. It was a lot to take for her and she was going to need all the
time in the world to adjust to the fact that, in a single second, her whole
life had been turned upside down, almost destroying her in the process.
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